Sunlight: Renesmee's Story Part One
by Lettheblacknessrollon
Summary: Sequel to Breaking Dawn, all in Renesmee's POV. Some graphic content. Rated M for a reason! Relaunched with all chapters broken apart! Part two is up and complete!
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One - Blind**

My eyes had never seen before this moment.

Jacob walked into my bedroom and sat down on my bed. He spoke, but I heard nothing. I could only sit there and stare at him with my mouth hanging open like an idiot.

I was suddenly flooded with feelings that had never been there before, something that had been happening alot since I had become mature. I had seen Jacob every day of my life as far back as I could remember, but this time was completely different. I had never seen anything so beautiful as him sitting here now.

My eyes ran across his face, and then slowly down his bare chest. His black eyes were like onyx stones staring at me in confusion. His skin was bronzed and rippled with his hard muscles, making me drool slightly. His lips looked pillow soft and all the more luscious as his tongue ran over them quickly. There was a trail of black hair leading down into his pants line.....

I had always seen Jake as beautiful, but in the same way that I saw my whole family as beautiful. This was a new kind of beauty, one that made my heart flutter. I felt like I must have been blind before this day. I suddenly had a strong urge to lean over just far enough for our lips to meet......

_NO!!!_ My brain screeched. _What are you doing?? You are going crazy!!!_

"Nessie, you're starting to scare me...."

Jacob's pleasantly husky voice broke through my reverie. I heard my dad laughing in the living room.

_Hey, keep out of my head, Dad! _I thought to him sternly.

"Sorry," I said simply, trying to push my thoughts aside. "What were you trying to say?"

He smiled hugely and it scrambled my brain. Maybe just one tiny little kiss......

_STOP that!! What is going on with me??_

Dad laughed again from the other room.

"Bella?" I heard him say to my mom, "Would you like to go hunt? I think Renesmee might appreciate it if I step out for awhile...."

_Thanks, _I thought to him.

"So what do you want to do today?" Jacob asked. I barely heard him again because I was lost inside of his eyes.....

"I don't know....could we just hang out here for a little while?" I didn't bother mentioning that I was worried that if I moved from this spot, the butterflies in my stomach could carry me away.

"Whatever you want, Ness," he said smiling. How sweet Jacob was to me. No wonder my emotions were all screwed up. He glanced down at my wrist.

"Do you remember when I gave you that?" he asked as he pointed to my bracelet. It was made from leather in an array of dyed colors ranging from fuschia and aqua to the deepest of browns.

"Sort of....it's pretty distant, though."

From the time of my birth, maybe even before that, my mind had developed in a speed much much quicker than a human's. I had only technically been alive for eight years, so when I started to forget most of the details of my childhood, everyone was very worried. I always remembered everything important, like my family and any skills I had learned, but the specific memories quickly faded away.

About two years ago, my mom and dad decided to seek out Nahuel, the only other one they knew that was like me. When they found him, he assured them that it was nothing to worry about. Just a bit of my human side, he called it. After all, humans never remembered being babies, and barely remembered being children. Everyone felt much better after that was all cleared up.

I looked up and caught Jake staring at me. I suddenly felt self-conscience and almost vulnerable in a way, two more things I was not used to feeling, although they were pretty easy to identify. I looked down at myself - I was still wearing the same black shorts and tank top that I had worn to bed. My shorts were very short, and there was about an inch of skin below my belly button wrapping all the way around my body that was clearly visible. I wish I could trade powers with Dad for a minute....

Why was I thinking this way? Jacob wouldn't look at me like that. He had always been my best friend and nothing more.

But it suddenly felt like something more. I glanced at him again. It was like watching the sun rise for the first time. Why was he making me feel this way? Why was my heart beating so fast it could quite possibly burst from my chest? Then it all hit me.

This was love that I was feeling inside of me, but not the love I was used to. This love was much, much better. Intoxicatingly better. It hit me with a potency I had never been aware existed before.

My eyes trailed over him slowly once more..... my heart beat sped up as I looked over his strong arms, his black hair, his chiseled abdomen..... and then I stopped as I realized I could never have any of it.

I crossed my room quickly and turned my mp3 to every song by Agents of Oblivion. The music filled the room, caressing my ears with it's soft beauty. I was hoping it would distract me, but it was only partially successful. Apparently, love was something you just could not be distracted from, not even by the most beautiful sounds in the world.

We spent most of the day in silence, mostly for my fear that if I opened up my mouth I might say something completely ridiculous. I was almost releived when he headed out to the woods that night to sleep. It was nice to be alone and able to sort through my brain. And my heart.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two - The Meadow**

A whole month seemed to blur past me, only slowing down when I was with Jake. I couldn't help but feel awkward around him now, always wondering if he could ever possibly return the feelings I had recently discovered for him. I knew he loved me on some level.... but probably not the way I loved him now.

He was just so perfect for me in every way, but he had known me since I was born, so how could he possibly even think of me in that way? He might even see me as a child still, even though my brain and body were far beyond the limitations of childhood.

I woke up Sunday morning after what had become my nightly heaven; I had been dreaming the same dream of Jacob since that first day, one where he and I were in love with one another, and I could finally feel the warmth of his lips on mine. This particular idea seemed to float inside of my head at any given moment, much to the chagrin of my father. I'm pretty sure he had resorted to just blocking me out by now.

I looked out of my window at the sunshine filtering in. It looked like it would be a very nice day.

I walked out to the living room, then froze with surprise.

"Alice!!!!" I screamed as I threw myself at her. "What are you doing here?!?"

Alice and the rest of my wonderful vampire family had unhappily moved away a few years ago. They didn't have much of a choice, really, what with them never aging and all. They had started over in another small town about two hundred miles up the coast. Carlisle had taken up his regular work there while Alice, Jasper, Emmett, and Rosalie had started over high school. Rose and Emmett had just graduated (again). My Mom and Dad did not want to move me away from my home, so they stayed and kept out of the public eye altogether, sending Jacob and I to do anything that they couldn't. I hated being away from my whole family, but I could not leave my home. Especially not now....

"Ohh Nessie, you are just so adorable!" Alice squeezed me up tight. She still liked to talk about me like I was a little girl, which was okay with me - just so long as it was only her. She suddenly dropped me and a tiny rumble escaped from her throat.

"Jake's coming." she stated matter-of -factly. I blushed frantically.

"I gotta get dressed!" I said as I ran to put some clothes on. I picked out a tan t-shirt and jeans, throwing them on wildly. When I walked back into the living room, Jacob was already sitting there and listening to Alice tell Mom and Dad about their new house.

"Well, we'll have to come and see for ourselves soon....." my mother trailed off as she looked first from Jacob and then to me. "Are you two going on your walk now? It's a beautiful day," she smiled warmly at me.

I smiled back hugely. This was her giving me the go ahead to be alone with Jacob even though we had company.

"Do you want to go Jacob??" I couldn't completely contain my excitement.

"Yeah, Ness. You can lead the way."

We started through the trees slowly. Jacob took my hand in his. I stopped walking for a moment, first because my heart was about to implode on itself. Second because, now that he was touching my hand, I had to be very careful not to think certain things and to not send him every thought I couldn't help thinking. Usually, the second part wasn't so hard, but then again, usually Jacob was not holding my hand. I gathered my thoughts and started walking again.

"Alice says she wants to take you shopping next time she gets in," he said conversationally.

"Why next time?"

"She's only here for a short visit. She has school tomorrow...."

"Oh yeah, I forgot about that," I giggled. It was strange to think of my aunt as a high school student when, in reality, she could be a college professor.

"Ness I was wanting to ask you something......"

I stopped walking and stared into his eyes. "Yes?" was all that would escape my throat.

"You know that meadow your mom has told you about? You know, the place where she first saw how your dad's skin glittered?"

"Oh," I had hoped he was going to ask me a different question. "Yeah, I know what you're talking about."

"Well I was thinking I could show it to you tomorrow. It really is a nice spot."

That sounded a little better. "Okay," I agreed beaming at him. I spent the rest of the day trying to keep myself from placing my lips to his......

I stared out of the window at everything along the highway without really seeing it. Jacob was unusually silent beside me. He drove along until the road ended and then pulled to a stop. We both got out of the car.

"This is where the meadow is?" I asked looking around skeptically. We were facing a long trail, but I had been told we wouldn't be taking it. I looked at Jake and noticed his eyes run twice from the top of my head to the bottom of my feet. I couldn't tell if he was looking at me in a good way or in a bad way. I had dressed a bit differently today - I always wore small clothes like tank tops and shorts or skirts, but my style was still usually pretty casual. I wanted Jake to take notice of me today, though, so I picked out a light blue and tan plaid mini skirt and wore white heels to match my white spaghetti strap tank top. It seemed to catch him off guard, at least - hopefully, in a good way.

He took my hand and led me slowly along, not saying much along the way. He must have known that I would want to walk slow today since he never even asked if I wanted to run. Or maybe _he_ wanted this time to last as much as I did......

I shrugged the thought away before Jake heard, and before I got my hopes up. I was sure he had noticed the changes in me by now -the way I stared at him and couldn't speak half the time when he was around. Since he had not mentioned anything about it, or acted any differently towards me, I figured he must be trying to spare my feelings.

He couldn't look at me in the way I had been looking at him. I wasn't sure _anyone_ looked at somebody else the way I looked at him. I thought he was perfect, but I was just a friend in his eyes, no matter how badly I wanted it otherwise. Maybe that's why he was being so quiet today.

"We're almost there now."

I looked up to see the sun coming through ahead. This must be the meadow my mother loved so much. She had always told me that this place was magic. Maybe it was for her, but I didn't think it was going to be the same to me. She had had the pleasure of finding out here that my father was in love with her, the same as she was in love with him. I doubted that this day would be anything like that.

We stepped through the last trees bordering in the forest, and I heard myself gasp in surprise.

This place was incredible! A perfect circle, placed right here naturally, with wildflowers blowing in the breeze.

We followed around the borders of the meadow, never straying to the center of it. Everything was quiet for a very long time. Jacob stopped walking suddenly and spun around to face me. He looked like he wanted to say something but couldn't get the words out. He looked down, directly into my eyes and held his gaze there for a very long minute. I could barely breathe. What could he be thinking?

He slowly lifted his hand up, each mili-second ticking by seemed to last an eternity. He placed his fingers to my cheek, brushing his hand across my face and then down to my jaw line. I closed my eyes to savor every moment, every feeling, every shiver that I felt at his touch. And then it was over, flooding my head with disappointment.

He sighed. His face looked almost defeated in a way. We rounded the field twice more in silence, then hiked back to the car to go home.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three - Kiss**

"Nessie?" Jacob put his hand on my shoulder.

"Yes..?" I smiled. Jacob was so beautiful, so perfect.

"I'm going to _try _ to pretend not to have heard that....."

My eyes flew open in surprise. I had been dreaming my Jacob dream again,and Dad had overheard the end of it. Hopefully, that was all he heard.

"Awww Dad!" I whined as I threw off my sheet. "You shouldn't be listening!!"

He chuckled loudly. "Actually, darling, Jacob is the reason I'm here. He's outside and he asked me to wake you and ask you to come for a walk with him - that is, of course, unless you'd like to sleep a bit longer...." he clearly looked hopeful.

"No, that's okay!" I threw myself out of bed. "I'll just be a few minutes!" I said loudly enough for Jake to hear. He answered with an excited howl.

I smiled inwardly - I had finally come to somewhat of a conclusion after yesterday. I wasn't too sure how to go about it, but I needed to at least let him know how I feel. I was sick of wondering whether or not he cared about me like that. So I needed an answer. If he did, I was sure to be tremendously ecstatic. And if he did not.....I stopped on that thought. I'd never get through this if that was the one on my mind. But I must tell him that I was in love with him, and I would just have to hear whatever response he had to it. I needed him to know that the mere thought of him left me breathless. This was what I had been waiting for.

I dressed swiftly in a yellow tank and some jeans, then flew to the bathroom to brush my teeth and fluff out my curls. I walked outside to meet Jake.

"Hey, Nessie!!" Jacob beamed his sunshine smile at me, stopping my heart completely.

"Hey, Jake," I smiled, blushing a bit. How embarassing _that _human trait had become.

Silently, he took my hand again and began leading me into the woods. I really wished he would say something - the quiet made me even more nervous. How was I supposed to do this? I had never even liked a boy before now, so there was no way I knew how to tell someone I was in love with them. What if he didn't want me?

I stopped walking until that thought was completely pushed aside.I had been agonizing over this for long enough. It was time for me to do something about it.

"Race ya!" I yelled, dropping Jacob's hand. I took off slow at first to give him time to phase. He was right behind me in seconds.

I had no particular location in mind as I flew through the forest. I stopped after about five miles, out of my dad's "hearing" range. Jake stopped about fifty yards behind me and hid in the trees to phase back and put his clothes back on. I blushed as I thought of him being naked so close to me.

"What was that all about?" he asked as he popped back through the trees. I gasped when I saw him - he had left his shirt off. The long muscles of his torso gleamed in the sparse sunlight. He was just so....... I had no word for it.

"Why did you want to come here?" He didn't seem to notice my ogling him.

"I.....I wanted to try something...." I blushed again. My heart was pounding against my chest, and I was sure he could hear it.

"What is it Nessie?" he asked me, his voice serious. He closed the distance between us and lifted my face up to look at him. I stared into his perfect black eyes. Should I do this? How was he going to react?? Would he like it???

There was only one way to find out.

I reached forward slowly, being careful to not think about what I was doing. I placed one hand on Jacob's perfect face and the other on his bare shoulder. I brought my face right to his and closed my eyes. Our lips met, slowly and carefully, and I immediately felt a surge of heat and electricity flow through my entire body.

He kissed me back, hesitantly at first, placing his hands gently on my face. His lips were warm and soft, molding easily to mine. He placed one arm around my waist, and then the other. He pulled me towards him slowly, lifting up one of his arms to place it around my neck. His hand left a trail of heat along my back, and I shivered pleasantly. His lips slowly moved up to my ear.

"Renesmee..." he whispered softly. His face moved back down to meet my lips again. My fingers wound their way into his hair, pulling him even closer as he kissed me again and again. The light beyond my eyelids turned red, and all that was left in the world was Jacob. All I could feel was him and the heat and electricity flowing between us, all I could hear or see was him. He was everything, everywhere - he was the wind blowing the trees, he was the sunlight bursting through the clouds. There was no doubt in my mind now that I had to be with him.

I pulled away to measure his expression - he looked happy enough. Serene even.

"Jacob..... I think I'm in love with you. No, I _know_ I'm in love with you." I said with great conviction. "I don't know how you feel about me, but I needed to tell you that."

"Renesmee," he said slowly. "I am in love with you. You are my world...."

I practically jumped into his arms, beaming at him. He laughed softly in my ear.

"I'm shocked you never noticed," he said jokingly.

I couldn't answer. I was savoring the perfection that my world had just become. I had Jacob now, and that was all I would ever need. Jacob carried me a few feet away, sitting down on the raised root of a tree. He cradled me in his arms, kissing slowly from my earlobe down along my jaw line. Each one sent a new wave of heat down my body and a shock to my heart. He pulled my hand gently away from his neck and placed it to his face.

"Will you show me, Nessie?"

Should I? It was sure to be a little embarassing, at least. But Jacob was my soul mate, I was sure of that now..... I guess it wouldn't hurt to show him.

I started with the first day I realized I loved him that way. I ran through all of my thoughts and dreams, laughing at some of them with Jacob. He seemed to like it when I saw him with his shirt off, probably because he was seeing how much _I_ liked it when he had his shirt off. He closed his eyes and watched every memory that I had of us over the past month, sighing and smiling at his favorite parts.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" he asked me suddenly. "You would have been alot less nervous the past few weeks."

"I was scared to. I didn't know if you...... what if you would have rejected me?"

"I'd have to be completely insane to reject you, Ness. Any man would," he said chuckling. "You're absolutely perfect."

I laughed inwardly. _He_ was the perfect one. I was lucky he wanted me when I was sure he could have any girl. I'd seen the way some of them looked at him...... I wasn't the only one that thought he was beautiful.

"No," he said shaking his head sternly. "I'm the lucky one. I'm the one who got to kiss the most beautiful girl in the world today," his face beamed down at me.

I giggled at him. He could do that again, if he wanted to....

He pushed his soft lips back to mine, gently at first, and then a bit rougher. I really liked this whole kissing thing. I'd never felt anything so infinitely good before. He pulled my body tight against him and parted my lips with his as he wound his fingers up into my hair. His breath was hot in my mouth and the taste was indescribable.... I lifted my face after a few moments to breathe, and his lips moved down to my neck, warming every spot where they touched my skin. He lowered his big hand down to the bare skin at the top of my back.

I buried my face into his chest and inhaled his scent repeatedly, commiting this day to memory. I couldn't beleive he actually loved me the way that I loved him. It made me wish I _had_ told him sooner. When did he start to feel that way? He could have said something too. It didn't really matter though; he was mine now.

"We should probably go soon," I sighed. I hated the thought of leaving now when everything was so perfect, but I did not want my parents to get worried and come looking for us. I looked up at the sky - we had been gone a few hours already.

Jacob rose from his seat with me in his arms. He placed me gently back on my feet and then we started the walk back towards my house.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four - Dinner**

"Let me get that for you," Jacob said as he reached into the oven for me. He pulled out the steaks and set them on the stovetop. It was Sunday evening, and we were having dinner at Billy's house with he, Grandpa Charlie, and Grandma Sue. I had been cooking them dinner once a week for about a year now, and I seemed to be getting much better at it. At least no one tried to pile food into their napkins when they thought I wasn't looking anymore. Jacob had always been the one to put on a brave face and just eat whatever catastrophe I was serving that night - but then again, he ate raw meat on a regular basis so maybe he didn't think it was so bad.

My family had previously not been allowed in La push, but after so many years of fighting on the same side, they re-wrote their treaty to un ban all of us. My family was the only exception to the no vampire policy, though. Any others would immediately be ripped apart, as Jake had put it.

I glanced out of the tiny kitchen window. It was a beautiful August evening, the sun casting rays of gold and pink across the earth outside. There was no rain today - it was sunny, and even warm, not that the temperature ever bothered me. I was always warm, just like Jacob.

Mmmmm..... Jacob. I smiled up at him.

"No one's here yet - do you want to go for a walk?" he asked. It was like he'd read my mind.

"Sure," I said, taking his hand in mine.

We walked lazily down First Beach. I had been here a million times, but it was still one of the most beautiful places I'd ever seen. Islands jutted out of the gray ocean, white waves rolling slowly from one cliff face to another. The sand was dark from the tide rolling over it again and again, pulling grains away with it's every movement, dragging them miles away to deposit them somewhere new. There were smooth flat stones of every color littering the ground where we walked. The sun would set soon, and it made the sky a million stunning shades of blue, gray, pink, gold and purple.

We stopped at a nice long driftwood tree and sat down, staring deeply into one another's eyes. I wrapped my arms around Jacob's neck, pulling myself as close as I could to him. He leaned down to place his warm lips on mine, picking me up in his arms slowly to place me in his lap.

We'd spent most of the last few days together trying very hard not to think about our new relationship when my father was around, and attempting to be alone so that we could think and kiss freely. Jacob had told me that my parents didn't care, that they always figured we would end up together, but that was not a conversation I was ready to have with them yet. They knew enough as it was - or Dad did at least, and I had no way of knowing how many of my thoughts he had shared with my mother. I could only control so much......

Jake and I jumped up as we heard someone approaching us. I spun around, half expecting to see my dad standing there looking angry - but it was only Seth.

"Hey guys!!" he called out waving to us. "Sorry if I scared you!"

Jake and I laughed.

"What are you guys doing out here? I thought you were supposed to eat dinner with your family tonight."

"We are....they're just not back yet."

Seth laughed."So you decided to come make out on the beach while you waited?"

I giggled. He'd said we were making out.

"Naw, I'm just playing with you guys - you know how happy I am for you. And Jake's the happiest he's ever been!" he looked up at Jacob. "It's a good thing you never imprinted on -"

"We should get back now, Ness. I think I hear Charlie's car...." Jake shot Seth a disapproving look.

"Sure, sure," I laughed, imitating Jake. He grinned widely at me and then we loped back towards the house.

Sure enough, Charlie was helping Billy out of his car when we reached our destination.

"Grandpa!!!!" I yelled as I ran over to hug him.

"Well, look at you Nessie!!" he said as he carefully assessed me, probably making sure that I hadn't changed anymore since the last time I had seen him. I hadn't - I was as matured as I would ever be, for the rest of forever. The rapid growth thing probably used to freak him out.

"Prettiest thing I've ever seen!" he muttered as he led the way into the house. Charlie was such a proud Grandpa.

"Smells good, Ness. Steak tonight?" Billy asked as Jacob rolled him towards the kitchen while I followed close behind.

"Yeah.... don't worry though - I made sure everything was completely done," I said, laughing at my poor cooking abilities.

I was uncharacteristically nervous tonight. I sat between Jake and Grandpa on Billy's short couch and said nothing while I pretended to watch the game on the television. I did not want to look at Jacob in case someone was watching.

Last week when we had all eaten together, Jacob and I were still just friends, and the only one making me feel awakward then was Jake. Now, I felt overcome with paranoia. I had no idea how everyone here would react if they knew Jacob and I were actually _together. _Would they be angry? I was, after all, only eight in human years, even if I did look like I was about seventeen or eightteen and had a fully capable adult mind. Did they all still see me as a child?

I decided that tonight was not the night to find out.

"Why don't you let me drive you home tonight, Nessie? I haven't gotten to see your mom in a few days," Charlie said when the game was finally over.

I glanced at Jake, who was smiling. he would be there tonight, sleeping out in the woods, probably before I was even home yet.

"Sure, Grandpa. Mom would love a visit."

Charlie drove slowly towards the house in silence. I liked this about him - that he didn't feel the need to always fill the space with meaningless small talk. It was nice to have things be calm and quiet sometimes.

He pulled through the Cullen's old driveway, past the dark house and onto the small private road that led him to our small cottage. Charlie was the one who had insisted on there being a new road that he could take all the way to our house. It wasn't quite as easy for him to walk the four miles out into the woods as it was for us, and Mom didn't like being at the big house much now that it was empty. He pulled up to the end of the road and turned the car off.

"Bella has something she wants to talk to you about, Ness," Charlie said with a grin on his face.

Oh crap. What could this be about? I sucked in a deep breath and marched up to my front door.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five - But why??**

"Dad!!!" Mom yelled as Charlie walked through the door behind me. She grabbed him up in a bear hug.

"Whoa... easy Bella. You know I'm getting too old."

She dropped her arms immediately, murmering a "sorry" to him.

"Well, I told Nessie you had something to speak to her about...." he prompted her, looking excited just like the first time he had mentioned it. I took another deep breath trying to relax myself. I had no idea what could be coming.

"Where's Dad?" I asked, noticing he wasn't here with us.

"He had some.... business to take care of," she answered nervously, glancing at Charlie. I nodded in understanding - whatever he was doing, it was not something Charlie would want to hear of.

"So what is it then, Mom? The suspense is killing me." I sunk down onto the couch.

"Well, sweetie, your father and I have been discussing something, and we think maybe it would be good for you - let you see what the real world is like." She took a breath to ready herself. She must know I probably wouldn't like what I was about to hear. "We think you should try out going to school for a little while, Nessie. Real school."

I had been homeschooled my whole life, learning much more than any public education system could ever have taught me. Mom must have known what I was thinking.

"It would be more for the experience than anything else," she quickly threw in.

"But.....why?" Didn't I have good enough social skills? I guess I didn't know enough people that I was not related to to be sure.

"High school is where people learn how to make and keep friends....... it won't kill you, Nessie. It'll bore you, I'm sure, but we've already made up our minds," she said, ending the conversation.

"Okay....." I didn't know what else to say. I couldn't really argue..... it probably wouldn't even be so bad. "So when do I start, then?"

"You'll start eleventh grade in early September, along with everyone else that age. You'll have to be careful there, though. We'll have to make up a few stories of course....."

She went over my new life story with me three times. I was to tell anyone who asked that I had been adopted by my actual parents when I was a baby after my "parents" - who were supposed to be my Dad's biological brother and his wife - had died in a car accident. Other than that, it was mostly the truth. Not many people had seen my mom and dad for a few years but no one had heard that they'd moved away either, and the part about being homeschooled my whole life was completely honest. It was all easy enough to remember.

Charlie was leaving as Dad walked in through the door. He had been off getting me an i.d., birth certificate and social security card made since I would need them all for school. He said he would pick everything up in a week and then enroll me.

"Jacob's outside, darling, and he wants to know if he can sleep in your floor tonight," Dad asked me.

That completely took me off guard. Jacob had not slept in my room since I was much younger. He had always stayed somewhere near-by though, usually out in the woods.

"Can he?" I looked up in to my father's face with wide eyes

_Please say yes, please say yes......_ I repeated it over and over, knowing he heard every bit of excitement I couldn't contain.

"I suppose so.....as long as your mother doesn't mind. And Renesmee..... I'll be listening." He stalked off towards his bedroom to see what Mom would say. I already knew what her answer would be, but I waited to hear her "okay" before running into my room.

I dressed quickly for bed and brushed my teeth in the bathroom. I ran back to my room and yelled Jacob's name out of the open window.

"Yeeessssss?" His voice came from behind me.

"Oh!" I said as I spun around. His eyes ran from my face to my feet very slowly.

"I heard that!" Dad yelled from his room. Jake and I laughed together. I wonder what it was that he'd heard...

"I'm not going to repeat it, dear," he yelled in, answering my thoughts.

_Could you not listen quite so much, Dad? It's pretty hard to control all of my thoughts...._

"Not tonight, Nessie. I wouldn't want anyone taking advantage of their privacy," he answered.

I sighed. Oh well, at least Jacob was getting to stay with me tonight. Even if it was as a giant wolf curled up on my floor. I was getting very tired, so I slumped over to my bed and laid down. To my surprise, Jake followed and laid down right beside me.

"I can only stay right here til you fall asleep, Ness. Your dad would chase me out then, anyways," he chuckled. That was just fine with me. I didn't really want him touching my hands as I slept, since there was no way to control my sub-conscience. I snuggled my face up into his chest and pulled my body as close to his as possible. The heat was incredible, even though it wasn't far off from my own body temperature.

"Love you, Jake," I whispered into him.

"Love you, too, Nessie. Sweet dreams....."

I drifted off then, dreaming of heat and everything being red. There was nothing too specific, just alot of feelings and color. And Jacob, of course. He was the sunshine. I opened my eyes and had to ask myself if I was having some type of double-dream.

Jacob was snoring lightly, laying in the exact same spot he had been when I fell asleep. I blinked a few times, and the image in front of me didn't change, so I figured it must be real. I pulled myself out from underneath Jacob's arm and went to the living room to find my father.

He was waiting on me, having already heard my question.

"I didn't see any harm in him staying where he was," he answered me simply. I sat down beside him.

_What all do you know about me and Jacob?, _I thought. It was obviously more than he was letting on.

He sighed. "I know everything.... you two have been terrible about hiding things. I know you are in love, Renesmee, and I understand," he said, glancing towards his bedroom where my mom was probably sitting.

_And you don't think I'm too young?_

"Your mind is not as young as the years you have lived. You are plenty mature enough to be with him, if you choose."

_So can he always stay then? Like you used to?_ I had heard the stories of him and my mother all those years ago, when he would sneak into her room every night and watch her while she slept.

He sighed again. "I suppose he can. As long as you both are good."

I threw my arms around his neck and hugged him excitedly.

_Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!_

"You are very welcome, dear," he said laughing at my enthusiasm. "Jacob just woke up..... I was wanting to ask him something."

"What?" I asked as Jacob walked groggily into the living room.

"Jacob, would you like to drive Nessie to school when she starts? And then afterwards, back home as well?"

I liked that question.

"Of course!!" Jacob said, the corners of his mouth pulling up sleepily. He looked over at me. "I mean, if you want me to."

I rolled my eyes at him. "You know I do, Jake. It'll be the least boring part of school, I'm sure."


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six - First Day**

I walked alone into the cafeteria and looked around. There were people already seated at the long tables that covered most of the floor space, and a line was forming on the other side of the room from me where people picked out and payed for mushy food. As my eyes scanned the room a second time, I realized that every eye in the room was directed at me. No one spoke - they simply stared at me shocked. What was going on? I looked down at myself and what I saw made me scream in horror.

I was completely naked!!

"Nessie!!! It's okay, it's okay, it was just a dream......" Jacob curled me into his lap, rocking back and forth as he petted my hair.

"You didn't see anything, did you?" I had no way to control my little talent when I was asleep

"Not much," he said, stifling a smile. I knew he wasn't being completely honest.

"How much is not much??"

"Just a little there at the end," he chuckled. My face got hot and I would bet that it was turning bright red.

"Jacob Black, you stay out of my dreams!!!" I yelled. He fell into the floor - he was laughing at my outburst. I didn't think it was funny.

"I am serious!! I get enough of that crap from Dad!!!!"

"Sorry, Ness, I didn't know that I was gonna see _that_, I was just about to wake you up," he said as he attempted to compose himself.

"Oh noooo," I groaned. "Not today already."

"Sorry," he said again. "Don't worry, though. I would never drop you off anywhere if you were naked like that," he grinned at me, running out of the room before I decided to throw something at him.

I got dressed quickly in a plain gray t-shirt and jeans, brushed my teeth, and fluffed out my hair. I couldn't put it off any longer.

Jacob drove into an empty space in the student parking lot at Forks High School. There were students talking excitedly all over the place, probably catching up after their summer break.

"Don't worry about anything, Ness. Everybody will love you - some of them probably more than I'd like them to."

I sighed. "Alright - here goes nothing."

I stepped out of the car. Slowly, most of the people facing me started to stare. Then the people they were talking to started to turn and stare.

_Oh No! not this....._

I looked down and breathed a sigh of releif - I was still fully clothed. I decided to ignore all the curious eyes that were trained on me and head off to building two, where my government class was. My parents had gotten me my schedule mailed in early like everyone else that was enrolled last year would have. I was thankful for that, at least.

I followed a few people into the door of the classroom. They all looked like they were choosing their own seats, so I chose one, too, at the back of the classroom. Maybe this would help with the staring problem. More people filed in, seating themselves like everyone else. A loud nasal buzzing sounded from a speaker on the wall at the front of the room.

Mr. Smith walked in and began calling out everyone's name in alphabetical order, and I mentally noted peoples names to their faces. That would be easy, at least.

"Renesmee Cullen?"

Everyone started searching for the mystery new person.

"Here," I said just loud enough for him to hear. For the second time already today, everyone around me stared curiously.

Class droned on and ended with a second nasal buzz. I put my new textbook into my bag with my new notebooks.

"Umm, hi, it's Renesmee, right?" a nervous voice asked from above me. I looked up and saw a pretty girl with long dark hair and big blue eyes holding her hand out to me in a friendly gesture. I shook her hand and smiled.

"Yeah," I answered simply.

"I'm Brittany - it's nice to meet you."

"You, too."

"Do you want me to help you find your next class? This place is a little bit confusing when you're new," she said as we walked out of the classroom.

"Sure. I have Biology in building five." At least someone was trying to be friendly instead of just gawking at me like I was a freak. None of them knew that I technically sort of _was_ one, either.

"Hey Brittany, wait up!!" someone called from behind. We both spun around and I saw a tall, muscular boy running towards us. He had tanned skin, blonde hair, and blue eyes. Overall, very nice-looking.

"Hey, Anthony," Brittany said to him as he came closer. He stopped in front of us.

"Aren't you going to introduce me to your new friend?" he asked her as his eyes looked me over many more times than is necessary. He twinkled a smile at me. Very nice looking, indeed - but nothing in comparison to the beauty that was Jacob.

"Renesmee, Anthony - Anthony, Renesmee," she gestured back and forth between us.

"It's definitely a pleasure to meet you," he said holding out his hand to me. I shook it quickly.

"Yeah, you too." I smiled my most breathtaking smile at him. It had the effect I had wanted - Brittany and I escaped as Anthony stood there dazed. Brittany was cracking up the whole walk to my Biology class.

"How did you _do_ that to him??" she asked between laughs. "Girls at this school try anything they can think of to get his attention and he never gives them the time of day, but you just smile at him once and he's completely speechless!"

Her face became serious again."Are you going to try and date him? I mean, he obviously looked interested...."

"No!! I don't even know him. Besides, I already belong to someone," I smiled, thinking about my Jacob. Just a few more hours.

"Who?" she inquired.

"Jacob Black," I answered, smiling hugely again.

"Oh.... well do you want to sit with me at lunch?" she asked, changing the subject.

"Sure - I'll just find you when it's time."

"Alright. Later," she waved as she walked away.

Trigonometry and Literature passed by while I tried to ignore all the people that still refused to let me out of their sight. It was like they thought that if they turned away for even a second, I would do something completely off the wall and they would miss it. A few boys would come and introduce themselves at the end of the hour, following along with me to my next class silently. It was like everyone was attracted, or even almost drawn to me, but intimidated by me as well.

I walked on to the lunch building with everyone else and scanned the room. It was uncanny - it looked exactly the same as I had dreamed it. Even the part where everyone started to stare at me. It was okay though. I was getting used to it, and I knew I was wearing clothes right now. I held my head high and walked over to the line, searching around for Brittany.

She was already seated at a nearby table. I walked over and took the empty chair next to her.

"You're not hungry?" she asked. I couldn't help but laugh at the question.

"No, not right now. I'll eat when I get home." I did need to go hunting tonight. The burn in my throat was back today, probably because of all the human scent swirling around me.

Anthony walked to our table and sat down in the seat across from me. Two girls a couple of spaces down started whispering and giggling to one another.

"Hello, again," he said, inclining his head towards me.

"Hi."

"So, how's your first day been so far?"

"It's been alright..... everyone keeps staring at me though."

He chuckled. "Yeah, you can't really blame them. You're the prettiest thing anybody around here has seen in a long time."

My cheeks blushed scarlet. The two girls that had seemed excited a second ago now looked downright offended. They sneered at me angrily. They must have been some of the ones Brittany had mentioned earlier, the girls that would do anything for this boys attention. I didn't see what was so great about him - he was just a regular teenage boy, even if he was pretty cute.

"So what are you doing a couple of weekends from now?" he asked me, trying to pick up the conversation again.

"I don't know. Why?"

"I was thinking of getting a group together to go down and have a bonfire at the beach, sort of like a back to school thing."

"Oh. That sounds fun," I told him. I smiled a less devastating smile than the one I'd used on him earlier. He still seemed completely stunned by it.

"What's wrong with you man?" a short, black-haired boy called from down the table. "You never talked to a beautiful girl before?"

Everyone sitting close enough to hear busted out laughing. I laughed too, a little bit, even though I was completely embarassed. At least they were laughing more at him than at me.

"So would you come, then?" Anthony managed after everyone calmed down.

"What beach would we be going to?"

"First Beach, down at La Push."

I giggled. "I go there almost every single day. It's one of my favorite places...." I drifted into thoughts of Jake and I. Anthony interrupted them.

"I've never seen you there before," he accused.

"I usually go around twilight, when there aren't many other people. We like to watch the sun set over the ocean."

"We?" he asked cautiously.

"Jacob and I." I stated simply. He did not seem happy with my response.

"Is that your boyfriend?" His voice fused with little sparks of anger.

"Yeah, I guess so." I hadn't ever thought of Jacob as just a "boyfriend". He was my soulmate, and any other word for it didn't feel right, like I was selling our relationship short.

Anthony looked pleased at my hesitation on the subject and started back with the beach bonfire thing.

"I'll try. I'd have to ask first." That was all I would promise for now. I didn't know how I would feel trying to make a social outing with my new schoolmates.

"I'm in!", "Me, too!" people along the table were shouting to him.

"It's going to be awesome," he said as he twinkled his smile at me again. I realized that this was his trick, too. He was used to dazzling girls when he smiled at them. I laughed to myself - he didn't have anything on me. I stood up as the bell was ringing.

"See you later," I said to him softly, pulling out my devastator once more. He swayed, staring off into space unblinkingly as I walked out of the cafeteria and on to the next class.

I walked at a speedy human pace after gym. Jacob was waiting for me, and I couldn't wait to see him. I hopped quickly into his car, threw my arms around him and kissed him roughly.

"I missed you so much," I whispered softly into his ear.

"I missed you, too, Ness. It's really boring when you're not around." His voice sounded like he was in pain.

"What's wrong, Jacob?" I asked as I examined his face.

"It's really hard.... being away from you. I didn't realize it would be this bad," he admitted sheepishly.

"Ohh, Jake.... it'll get easier, we just have to get used to it is all." We had never spent this many hours apart, except for before, when Jacob slept in the woods outside of my house. He had never strayed far though, always standing as protector if I needed one. He sighed and looked up at me, seeming to feel somewhat releived.

"So how did your day go?" he tried sounding cheery. I placed my hand to his neck and reviewed the past few hours.

"Who's this Anthony clown?" he asked sourly. "He'd just _love_ to try and take you away from me."

"Nobody is taking me anywhere," I smiled. "You can have me forever."

Jacob laughed and pressed his warm lips to mine.

"Might have to take you up on that offer," he muttered as he took a breath. I hoped beyond everything that he would.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven - Weekend**

I awoke from a dreamless sleep. I kept my eyes closed and felt around beside me until Jacob wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close beside him. He kissed the top of my head lazily.

"Good morning," he said, "How did you sleep?"

I giggled softly. "You know I always sleep well when you stay with me."

He chuckled back,"You must be pretty well rested by now, then."

It was Saturday today and I was completely amped up. I finally understood why everyone got so excited about the weekends, and I was going to make the best of mine.

I jumped out of my bed and plugged in my mp3 player, scrolling down my list until I found Acid Bath. My parents didn't much like my taste in music, but Jacob was starting to like it - not so much any of the screaming though, so I turned to a soft song. Dax Riggs voice sang out his beautiful words to an easy melody.

"I like this one," Jacob said as he pulled himself upright slowly. "What's it called again?"

"New Death Sensation."

"That makes it so morbid - it doesn't fit."

"It's not morbid. It's beautiful. Just close your eyes and listen....."

I stood there until it was finished and then picked out something easy to wear. I dressed myself in the bathroom while Jacob did the same in my bedroom. The house was empty like it usually was in the mornings - the nights had never been quite long enough for my parents. I finished my morning routine and went back to my room where Jake was waiting.

"You look, um, very nice today," he commented as his eyes ran appraisingly up and down my body. I looked down at my short black dress - I didn't see anything particularly special about it.

"Haven't I ever worn this around you before?"

He barked out a laugh. "Yeah, you have, I just couldn't say anything about it at the time."

I laughed with him. "You could have - just to see what my reaction would have been," I taunted lightly. It was funny to think of him looking at me in that way, before I realized I was looking at _him_ in that way. I had no idea - and apparently, I was alone in my cluelessness. My dad certainly would have picked out any thought Jacob had of me, but he kept the secret flawlessly. From me at least.

I had been worried at first about how my family would react to our new kind of relationship, but no one was upset or even the slightest bit surprised. They all said that they always knew we would end up together. I guessed that they had all been tipped off.

"Let's go do something," I suggested. "It's not raining today."

We walked slowly hand - in - hand through the trees. I picked one amongst them - a towering fir - and started jumping straight up from branch to branch. I leaped quickly all the way to the top, and Jacob followed the old fashioned way. I stopped on a long sturdy branch, and Jacob came to sit beside me.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" My eyes swept over the treetops and into the bright morning sun.

"I can think of something that's much better to look at," Jake said softly as he wrapped his big arm around my shoulders and pulled me tightly to him.

"So can I," I laughed. I held my hand to his face and showed him a memory I had of him - it was from the day that I told him I loved him, and he was standing there with his shirt off and beaming rays of sunshine at me.

"Mmmm," he sighed. "I wish I could show you the way I see you. You are much better looking."

I laughed at him. "Am not," I said. "You are the most beautiful thing in the world."

"I'm not the one who practically has to beat people with a stick to get them to leave me alone," he said as he raised an eyebrow. "I am _not_ looking forward to tomorrow evening."

Last week, Jacob had agreed to coming with me to First Beach with my new acquaintances. He didn't really want to, but there was no way he was going to let me go alone after seeing how the boys at school treated me. I didn't mind if he really felt like he needed to be there. I secretly liked the way he got jealous over little things, even though I would never say it. He actually worried himself at the thought of someone else trying to be with me, even if they would never succeed.

"Do you want to go hunt?" he asked suddenly.

"Sure," I answered him dully. On the one hand, I loved to hunt when I had the chance to. The thrill of chasing down an animal that should have been able to kill me instead of the other way around, and being able to rely on nothing but the weapons I was born equipped with was incredible. But on the other hand, I hated the thought of taking something else's life from it. I didn't feel like I was allowed to judge something like that, to be the one deciding that it was time for it to die.

I stayed on the same branch for a moment, only changing my position to a crouch. I inhaled deeply.... I sifted through the millions of smells to find the type that I was looking for. There were some deer close by, and a few elk about a mile away, along with an endless amount of smaller creatures that were not appealing at all. I breathed in again and found what I was looking for.

I darted across the trees like lightning, my landing so light that I didn't sway them even an inch. I slowed as I was coming up on my prey - the stealth tactic was always the neatest. I landed on the highest branch of a tree and watched the mountain lion below me playing with a small mouse. I stayed silent, not even taking a breath, until the moment was just right.

I leaped onto the wild cat's back as it squeeled in surprise and terror, attempting to roll over so that it knew what it's attacker was. I held it there without letting it move though, and pulled my face down to it's throat. I sucked the life away from the cougar, and stood to wipe my face off. Jacob had caught an elk and was a few yards away eating it raw, still in his wolf form. I Iayed back in the grass beside the empty shell that was all that was left of my meal, hoping that the cougar had been a menace and that the forest would never miss it.

Later that evening, I laid back on my bed with Jacob beside me. I turned to my side and curled up against his chest. I quickly drifted off, my dreams flowing smoothly from good to horrible, one second I would be with Jacob, the next I was killing everything alive that I could find until there was nothing left but nothing.

I woke early like I usually did and pulled myself out from under Jake's huge arm. I picked out a light green tank top and some jeans from my closet and went to the bathroom to shower. There was a note on the mirror in the bathroom:

"Your mother and I decided to go see Esme's new house. Be safe and have fun today with your friends. Love, Dad and Mom"

I took my time in the shower, letting the hot water wash away my nightmares. I wanted to have fun today, and it was going to be difficult enough already. I got ready quickly and went to see if Jacob was awake yet. He was sitting up when I came in.

"You had some pretty crazy dreams last night, Ness," he yawned.

"Yeah sorry, I didn't know you could see all of it." I must have had one of my hands on him all night.

"I wish you could see my dreams sometime. I think you'd like it."

"What do you usually dream about?" I asked as I sat down beside him on the bed.

"You of course," he smiled hugely.

"What about me?" I smiled back mischeviously.

"Hmmmm.... I'd have to show you...." he taunted. He quickly pulled my chin up with his fingertips and kissed me softly.

He pulled the rest of my body up and settled me into his lap. His lips felt their way slowly down from my chin to the hollow of my throat, and then gently grazed across my left collar bone. I shivered in response and he kissed back up the length of my neck, across my jawline, stopping just below my ear. He held me tighter to his chest and didn't move an inch for five hundred and eighty nine of his pounding heartbeats. He sighed heavily as he released me.

"I guess we have to go soon," he said grumpily.

"Don't worry Jake - we won't stay too long."

"I'm not worried." He smiled devilishly. "I've got a plan."

I laughed at him. "Oh, do you, now? And what does this plan consist of?"

"I'm not going to leave your side for even a second," He answered more seriously. "If those idiots want to hit on you, they'll have to do it right in front of me."

"You know, it's pretty cute when you get all worked up like that over nothing," I giggled.

"It's not nothing," he answered. He furrowed his brows angrily. "Just yesterday that one clown tried to put his arm around you, even after you've told him a dozen times that you're not interested. He's heard about me - now let him get a good look at me." He stood up straight to demonstrate his massive height.

I could see what he meant about that one - any human would easily view Jacob as intimidating. He towered over almost anyone and his long frame was surrounded in thick bands of muscle. I only saw him as being absolutely gorgeous.

"Are we going to run??" I asked, my eyes brightening at the thought. Jacob smiled at my excitement.

"Sure, sweetie, whatever you want."

We arrived at First Beach about a half hour early, so we walked down along the sand and let the small waves lick at our bare feet. It was not raining at the moment, but dark threatening clouds hung overhead, thick with moisture. The sun was lying behind them already, so I could tell it was getting later.

"Renesmee?" someone asked quietly from behind us. We spun around and saw that everyone had just arrived and was beginning to congregate at the fire pit. Anthony was standing closer to us and had his mouth open as he gaped at Jacob, who seemed proud at the reaction he was receiving. He squeezed my hand firmly and led me towards everyone. He stopped in front of Anthony, waiting to be properly introduced.

"Jacob, this is Anthony. Anthony - Jake." They said nothing, but shook hands politely. Jacob smiled smugly as Anthony ripped his hand away and examined all of his fingers individually, making sure he had no broken bones.

"Let me introduce you to everyone else," I offered quickly before anything ugly could happen. I led Jake to the rest of the group and introduced him to all of them one by one. We took a seat on a log beside Brittany, who was the only person here that I actually considered as a friend. She was also the only girl I had met so far that didn't act like I was some type of competition to them.

Jacob kept his plan in action all evening, sticking to my side like glue just like he'd promised. I liked it, having him be so protective over me. It was cute how he could never see himself clearly.

A few of my classmates seemed to really like Jake. They would bust out laughing every time he glared at someone he had caught looking in my direction, patting him on the back and saying things like, "It's alright man," and "Just be glad you don't go to school with us."

I decided it was time to leave when the sun descended almost completely from sight. I sent the thought to Jacob who nodded once and rose from our driftwood tree, pulling me up with him. All of a sudden, he swept me up into his arms. The faces around us looked as confused as I felt.

"We're going home," he said lifting me higher to emphasize who exactly 'we' were. "It was nice meeting all of you," he said as a huge smile appeared across his face. He turned away from everyone and started walking with me still in his arms.

After the first two steps he stopped and lifted me up higher until our faces were pushed his lips to mine and my arms mechanically drew themselves around his neck as I grabbed big fistfuls of his hair. He pulled back after a few moments and started walking again, that same smug smile lighting up his perfect features.

I understood his dramatic exit soon enough; He was showing everyone there that I was his.

He placed me gently back on my feet as soon as we were in the cover of the forest.

"Now," I said excitedly, "Let's go for a real run."


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight - Secrets**

I sprawled out in Jake's tiny livingroom floor with my shoolbooks opened around me. Homework was such a ridiculous concept - why go to school all day if they were just going to give you stuff you had to work on at home? Jacob was outside messing with his old Volkswagon, and I would much rather be out there with him than in here right now.

Someone walked into Jacob's garage, and I could hear him and Seth talking excitedly. I hadn't gotten the chance to see Seth much since I started the school thing. Hmmm... so he had finally imprinted on someone.

I felt all the blood rush quickly from my face. I had totally forgotten about imprinting. Had Jacob imprinted on me? He never said that he had, but if he hadn't then that meant there was someone else out there that he was supposed to be with, someone who would be better suited for him than I was. My mind dredged up a very distant memory, but was quickly eclipsed by a more recent one from one of our days at the beach.

"Hey, Nessie!" Seth came in beaming at me. "Did you hear?"

"Yeah, that's great Seth!! I'm happy for you." I really was, but my mind was elsewhere. I gave him time to sit down before I started in on him.

"Seth...... can I ask you something?"

"Of course! Ask away," he said as he noted the panicked look in my eyes.

"Do you promise to be honest?"

"I'll try my hardest...." he said quietly. I placed my hand to his neck and showed him the day I was thinking of, up to the part where Jacob cut him off. He knew the part of the conversation I wanted to hear about now.

"Oh..... that. I don't think you would like to hear about that." He finally said after a few agonizing moments.

"You said you would be honest," I reminded him. "Don't worry about me, I can handle it." I sounded much more sure than I really was.

"Alright, Ness but I doubt you'll like it." He drew in a deep breath. "Before you were born, Jake thought he was in love with someone else," he answered simply, low enough so that Jacob wouldn't hear. There was obviously more to this story.

"Who?" I pressed. He said nothing for three full minutes.

"Well.... that's kind of the part that you aren't going to like. It was Bella, when she was still a human."

I completely froze, all except for my mouth which dropped open in horror. My head started spinning dizzily, and for the first time in my life I thought it was actually possible for me to faint.

Jacob.....and.....my.....mother. How could this all have happened? And why the hell hadn't anybody ever told me about it??

Jacob came in through the front door. He caught a glimpse of the look on my face and walked to me anxiously.

"What's wrong, Nessie?" he asked me nervously as he placed his big hand on my shoulder.

I shrugged it off - what was NOT wrong with this situation? I did not want him touching me right now, not while my head was filled with images of himself and my mom. I never would have thought Jacob would lie to me before.

"I have to go," I said stiffly as I threw my books into my bag and flung it over my shoulder.

"Let me take you home...." he said hesitantly.

"I'm not going home." Not yet, at least. I couldn't be in that house, not unless it was completely empty.

"Where are you going then?" Jacob asked, his voice a mix of pain and surprise.

"I don't know yet!" I snapped. "I just need to be alone!"

Jacob looked like I had just slapped him. I almost went to comfort him, to tell him I was sorry for my cruel words - until I remembered why I was so angry in the first place. I took off from his house at top speed. Only seconds had passed by the time I was in the woods.

Jacob followed behind me, closely at first, but then farther back as I headed deeper to escape him. I stopped when I didn't hear his paws thudding the ground behind me and sat down on a large flat rock. I needed to find someone that would tell me everything without sparing my feelings like Seth had. I knew immediately who I had to talk to.

Jacob whimpered somewhere in the distance and I ignored him. He had betrayed me. I understood that at the time that this had taken place, I had not been alive yet and so I could not really be mad about it. But at the same time, the thought of him feeling that way towards my mother disgusted me. Besides that, they had both had enough oppurtunities to bring it up in the past, and it was inexcusable to keep secrets from me.

Jacob must have phased back while I was thinking because he came running up through the trees in his human form.

"Renesmee, please just tell me what's wro-"

"Will you take me to see Leah?" I asked, cutting him off. He must not have heard the conversation between Seth and I if he still had to ask what was wrong with me. He sighed sadly and turned back to the privacy of the trees to phase again. He reappeared and nodded, letting me know that he would lead the way.

The forest sped past me in a million different amazing colors, but I saw none of them. I just focused on the task at hand. I looked around when Jacob stopped running, then turned away from him so he could phase back and put his clothes on.

"She'll be here in a couple of minutes to meet you." he told me.

I would not - _could_ not - look at him yet.

"Renesmee.... _please_ talk to me." His voice strained with his pain.

"What's to talk about?" I growled at the forest floor. "Or were you actually planning on telling me that you used to be in love with my mother?"

He recoiled from my anger before my words sank in. He was silent for a long minute.

"Oh..." was all he managed at first. "Nessie," He strode over to me, reaching for my hand. I looked up at him - he was not going to win me over that picked up my hand, and I decided to let him. Let him see how angry and hurt he had made me feel. I set my pain loose on him.

He dropped my hand quickly with an expression like I had tasered him. He stared down at the ground - now _he_ was the one that could not look at _me._

"I'm so sorry..." he muttered.

We both looked up when we heard the faint crunching of earth beneath someone's feet.

"She's here now." He turned to look at me. "Do you want me to leave?"

"Yes."

He sighed. "Will you have Leah take you home?"

"Yes." I said again.

He turned away again and ran through the forest.

Leah stepped through the trees in her human form, something I was not used to.

"You, um, wanted to talk?" she asked speculatively. I was well aware that I was not Leah's favorite person, but that was essential to the conversation. She wouldn't hold back so much.

"There are some things that I need to know. Please Leah, you are the only one that I know will give it to me straight."

She sighed. "Okay... what do you want to know?"

"I want you to tell me about my mom and.... _him._" She knew who I meant.

She sat down on the forest floor and I followed. She sucked in a long hard breath and released it slowly before she spoke again.

"You know how your Dad left your Mom once?"

I nodded. I had heard this part before.

"Well.... Bella was a total mess after that, and Jacob was the one who was there for her the most."

"What about after Dad came back?"

"Jacob hated him. He couldn't understand how she could choose her vampire over him."

So Mom had been the one to end it, then. That didn't make me feel any better.

"Did she love him back?"

"Yes - but she loved Edward much more. She didn't even realize the way she felt about Jake until he kissed her....." she trailed off, knowing she had said a bit too much.

The thought of Jacob's lips kissing my mother's was sickening. I had never even thought about him being with anyone else before he was with me. I was sure that this situation would be much more comfortable if it had just been some regular girl instead of my breathtaking mother.

Why hadn't anyone ever told me about this? Didn't Jacob think that I had a right to know who his lips have been all over before?

I quickly pushed the thought aside before I could become trapped in it. One kiss does not mean that he had put his lips anywhere other than to hers, and as disgusting as that thought was, it was better than my brain conjuring images of his lips being other places on her.

"So only once, then?" I asked, afraid of what the answer would be.

"Twice, I think. But the first time they kissed, your mom hauled off and punched him in the face."

Any other time I would have laughed loudly at that, but there was no happiness to be found inside of me right now. Jacob had obviously been the one to place his lips to my mom's if that was how she reacted. Did he still think of her that way?

"Do you think either one of them still....?"

"No, Renesmee." Leah looked straight into my eyes. "The only one Jake sees now is you. That's how imprinting works."

"So he did imprint on me?" It came out sounding like a statement.

I had thought before that this was what I wanted - something tangible that let me be absolutely sure that I was the one who was meant for him. But hearing about it here in this context, it just made me more angry.

"So, what, that's the only reason he wants to be with me??" I screamed as I stood up and began pacing back and forth in the small area. "Because of some ridiculous wolf connection to me? It's like he doesn't even have a choice! And what if he did?" I stopped and looked at Leah. "What would he choose if it was only up to him? How could I ever be sure that he would have chosen me? How can he even trust in his love for me if he didn't want to love me in the first place?"

"I don't know..... I can't answer all of those." Leah actually looked like she felt sorry for me right now. I must be pretty pathetic if I was getting sympathy from her. I turned away from her and laid down on the damp dirt as I let the tears fall freely.

I felt like the world had been flipped udside down. What if Jacob had not imprinted on me? Would he care about me at all? Or would he still be chasing after my mother?

I did not want to be in this new reversed place. I did not want to live in a world where Jacob did not truly love me, because I would always love him. He was my whole world - he was the air and the sun. I couldn't live if I never saw the sun again. Losing Jacob's love would be like spending an eternity in the darkness.

Leah sat silently, allowing me time to get it out of my system. I finally pulled myself together and stood back up. I needed to get home - there was someone else that I needed to talk to.

"Do you need me to carry you?" Leah asked me quietly.

"No, I'll be fine." I hope I will, at least.

We reached the house pretty quickly. I could see the light on in the livingroom from a good distance, so I knew she was already waiting on me. Once we reached the small yard, Leah bounded back into the trees for a moment and returned in her human form.

"What should I tell Jake? He's waiting...." she glanced over her shoulder.

I sighed. Of course he was. Jacob had no patience.

"Tell him I don't want him close enough to listen tonight," I said, gesturing to my house. "I'll be having a private conversation. And, as for the rest..... I don't know yet." that was the best I could do for now, and it was honest. I had no idea what I was going to do now.

Leah turned and started to walk away. I took a step towards the door.

"Renesmee?"

"Yeah?"

"I don't really know what imprinting is like, but I do know that Jacob really loves you. More than anything. You are all he has cared about since the day you were born."

"Thanks, Leah," I said with a deep breath. She was in the trees as I reached the house.

"Hello, love," My mother smiled from her seat on the couch. "Your father said that you wanted to talk to me."

"Did he say what about?"

"He did." She looked nervous. I sat down beside her on the couch.

"How could you not tell me, Mom??"

"I didn't want to hurt you, Renesmee. Everything that happened between Jacob and I was long before you were born. I can see how deeply you love him, and it would have only caused you unintentional pain."

"Still, some type of warning would have been nice. But that's not the only thing you've been keeping from me. Well, that _everyone_ has been keeping from me." I loved my family so much, I couldn't understand why they wouldn't tell me something so important, and they had to have known.

"I wanted you to love whoever you wanted. Just because Jacob has always known you were his soulmate doesn't mean that you had to be with him. I think your soulmate should be someone you choose for yourself."

"That's the point, Mom!!! I _do_ choose Jacob, but his choice was made for him! When he was able to choose for himself, he chose you!!!"

Mom closed her eyes and drew in a deep breath to keep her expression smooth.

"Jacob and I never belonged together. But you and Jacob do, Renesmee, and I belong with your father. He loves you more than he could have ever imagined loving anyone else. You are his whole world, and he is yours. Even if you were to deny him and choose someone else, he would always be waiting. He would wait an eternity for you," she said with great conviction. Her words did what they were meant to - I was a lot calmer.

"Do you ever wish that it never happened?" I asked quietly.

"No. There were times that I did, that I wondered why fate had made everything so complicated, but then I realized that everything does happen for a reason..."

Strangely, she was starting to make sense to me. Maybe fate's design had reason on it's side. Maybe it had been no flaw or accident that my father had once left my mother, giving her and Jacob the time to fall in love. maybe it had to happen the way that it did, so that my mom would always know that she could not live without my dad, and so that Jacob would be there to meet me after I was born, and he would know he could not live without me.

And now I knew that I could not live without him.

Jacob was the only one I could ever love. I realized that I didn't have much of a choice either; He had just walked into my room that day, like he had every day before, and I had to love him. I never consciously made the decision to, because the decision had been made for me. Maybe that was what imprinting was like - like seeing the sun rise for the first time, only better.

"I'm so sorry, for everything," Mom said softly.

"It's okay.... I think I mostly understand now." I wrapped my arms tightly around her and hugged her for a long time.

"I love you so much, Ness," she said as she kissed my cheek.

"I love you too, Mom."

"Are you going to talk to him? I can leave if you want."

I thought it over for a moment.

"He should have told me, and I'm still mad. But I don't want to torture him, so we can speak briefly. You can stay though, if you want."

I walked over to the door and pulled it open.

"I think I'll go. I have to tell your father that you're okay now." She breezed out of the open door.

"Jake?" I yelled. I knew he would be close enough to hear me. There was a howl off in the distance, and then Jacob came running a few seconds later.

"Nessie, I'm so sor-"

I grabbed the back of his head and pulled him low enough so that my face could reach his. I kissed him roughly, yanking at his hair with my fists. His face was frozen in shock when I pulled away.

"Look Jacob, I am angry with you, but I don't want to have this conversation tonight. I just wanted to tell you that I love you, and you can still stay tonight, if you want."

"I love you, too, Renesmee. More than anything. And you know I want to stay with you. I always will," he smiled.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine - Lust**

"Nessie," Jacob's husky voice whispered into my ear. "Wake up, honey." He pushed my hair gently from my face. I blinked the sleep away from my eyes and looked over at my alarm clock: the LED lights were saying that it was 5: 30 in the morning. I looked up at Jacob confused; I didn't have to be up for another hour.

"I thought you might like to talk before you went to school," he explained.

"Oh... okay," I said sitting up. "Let's talk then."

He waited for me to go first.

"Why didn't you ever tell me?" I asked harshly. "And don't say you never thought to," I added, putting my hand to his cheek and showing him the same memory I had shown Seth the day before.

He sighed. "I didn't really want you to know, Renesmee. I didn't want you to think about me in that way."

"But how do you expect me to trust you if you keep things from me?"

He looked down at his feet. "I don't know. I hope you will again soon, though."

"And the imprinting?"

"I wasn't going to try and force you to love me back, no matter how much it felt like I needed you to. I wanted you to love me on your own, if you were going to at all. It was something you needed to figure out for yourself."

He had a point. It's hard to tell how our relationship would have been over the years if he had always been forward with me.

"But Jacob, how can you be sure that you would still have wanted me if you hadn't?" This was the question I feared the most, but the most important one of all.

"There's a reason why we imprint - it's like a sign that points us to who we're meant to be with. But I don't need imprinting to know who I'm supposed to be with." He looked deep into my eyes and placed his hands into mine. "There is no one in this world that I could ever love the way that I love you, and that could never change. Imprinting or not, you are still the one I am meant to be with. I've never been more sure of anything in my life."

My heart melted like candle wax. I leaned my head over and laid it down on his shoulder. He knew he was forgiven now. He wrapped both arms around me and held me close until it was time for me to start getting ready.

I took a nice hot shower and readied myself quickly. I was in a much better mood, even if I did have to go to stupid school. Jacob did love me, and that was all I cared about today.

Jacob held my hand as he drove down the highway. I liked not being mad at him - it was so much easier. I laughed at myself when I realized that there was no way I wouldn't have forgiven him. He was my whole world, after all. Jake laughed, too, having heard my little joke.

"I'm glad you did, Nessie. I don't ever want to hurt you again. I _will_ never hurt you again."

I smiled up at him. "I beleive you."

He turned off the highway and into an empty space in the student parking lot. I turned my head to tell him goodbye, but was caught off guard by how close his face already was to me. As soon as I was facing him, he had one hand behind my head, winding his fingers through my hair. He pushed his lips to mine instantly, kissing me in a way that he never had before. My lips moved with his as my hands went up to his broad shoulders, pulling his face as close to mine as was physically possible. He freed my hair and slid his hand down the length of my back. Then he pulled away, giving us both a chance to breathe again.

"I don't want to make you late," he said sheepishly when he could speak again. I caught his face in my hands and kissed him again.

"I love you. See you in a few hours." I told him.

"I'll be waiting," he promised. "And I love you, too."

I sat through Government in a haze. All I could think about was Jacob, the way he had kissed me in the car...... I was surprised the waves of heat and electricity hadn't blown out all the windows. The nasal bell sounded, and I gathered my things to trudge off to biology.

"Renesmee!" Someone called from across the schoolyard.

"There you are! I didn't see you this morning!" Anthony sounded so releived - it was a little bit annoying.

"Yeah, I was with Jacob."

"Jacob..." he said acidly, shaking his head from side to side. "You could do so much better."

"Who could be better?"

"Well you could start with someone that's your own age."

I ignored him and kept walking. I did not want to discuss Jacob's age with anyone - he was technically twenty-five years old, and people would think that was bad, even though they would think it was a lot worse if they knew my real age as well.

Anthony kept walking along beside me.

"I could be better, " he said suddenly. "I could be whatever you wanted me to be."

I froze; that was totally unexpected. He had obviously found me attractive since the first day he met me, but I didn't think it would go beyond that. I had no response for his strange words. He was wrong, regardless. He would never be better than my Jacob, not even close.

Classes passed by more dully than usual. I heard nothing of what was being taught to me. My head was off in the woods, walking around lazily with Jacob, even if my body had to be stuck here. Anthony said nothing else to me all day, probably sulking about my non-responsiveness this morning. I didn't care though; I enjoyed his company more when he kept his mouth shut.

I dressed quickly after gym and was the first girl to be finished. Anthony was already waiting on me outside, so we started off together for the parking lot. I was eager to get out of here so I could be with Jacob.

I could see his car just a few feet away when Anthony stopped suddenly. He grabbed my hand and quickly spun me towards him, pulling himself closer to me. I realized then what he was doing, but he was quicker than I was.

As soon as I opened my mouth to protest, his lips were on mine. He kissed me almost violently in a way, clutching frantically at the exposed skin on the small of my back.

I was completely apalled - What the hell did he think he was doing? I pushed him away from me easily, being careful not to use my full strength.

I glanced over at Jake's car in time to see him getting out and looking extremely angry. It only took his long legs three steps to close the distance between us.

People were gathering close to us now, probably because Jacob looked like he might break Anthony's neck at any moment. Anthony took a step towards him, but did not release my hand. He glared up into Jacob's face - which was quickly turning red - and Jacob glared back even harder.

Jacob looked down at my still-captive hand, and I distinctly saw a tremble starting to roll down the length of his body. Uh-oh.

I quickly freed my hand from Anthony and grabbed Jake's instead. I tried to drag him to the car, but he would not budge.

"Come on, Jacob," I tugged harder. "Take me home...."

Another tremor rolled through him.

He gave in and walked to the car with me, pulling out the second I secured my seat belt. Neither one of us spoke the entire ride.

I wanted to talk though, to tell him how disgusting I felt. I hated that he had seen that with his own eyes, had watched my lips kiss someone else's. Seeing it had to be worse than only knowing it had happened.

We stopped in front of the house and got out of the car. No one was home when I came in, so I walked over and sat on the couch with Jacob following behind me.

"Jacob.... I'm so sorry you had to see that."

"Yeah, me too," he said to the floor. "I could've killed that guy. He's lucky I have some self control." He balled his hands into angry fists. "Seeing him kiss you like that without even asking for permission......maybe I should've killed him." His hands started to shake, so he inhaled deeply and let his fists go limp.

"Well, I'm glad you noticed that, at least."

"Noticed what?" He looked up at me.

"That I didn't give him permission," I answered. Jacob looked back at the floor.

"I really hoped not......did you......"

I pulled his face up so that he had to look at me. "Did I what?"

He drew in a long rough breath before starting again. "Well.... did you like it??"

I couldn't help but giggle. "Of course not! Is that what you were worried about?"

"Yeah, I guess. I mean, that is the only time you've ever kissed anyone besides me." He still looked doubtful. Lucky for both of us, I had a very easy way of proving it to him.

I laid my hand against his cheek and let my memories flood his brain. I showed him Anthony kissing me first. He didn't like what he saw much, but relaxed when he noticed how angry it had made me. Then I showed him an entire collage of memories I had stored up, ones where he smiled his rays of sunshine on me and kissed me sweetly. I let him feel what I felt every time he had ever kissed me. I let him see the heat and electricity, and the way that no matter what time it was, behind my closed eyes the sun was rising. I showed him the way he looked and smelled to me, and the way that just a single touch from him would send pleasant shivers up my spine.

I had never shared so much of myself with him before, but now I was glad that I had. He looked happier than I'd ever seen him before. He suddenly took my face in his hands and pulled my lips to his. I dropped my hand instinctively, but he caught it quickly and placed it back to his cheek.

"No, I like it Renesmee. I like seeing what you see, and feeling what you feel," he murmered.

I giggled and blushed as he put his hand to the back of my neck and placed his warm lips to mine once more. He kissed me very softly at first, and then slightly rougher as he could see my excitement building.

I had let him inside of my head before while we'd kissed, but I had always been careful of how much I let him see. This time, I held nothing back.

His hands moved down and grasped the exposed skin at the small of my back. He pulled me to him and set me into his lap. One of his hands felt it's way underneath the back of my shirt, leaving a blazing trail in it's wake.

He angled his body towards the open space next to him and lowered me down slowly, not breaking our lip lock for even a second, until my back was on the cushions. I wound my free hand up into his short hair, pulling it harder than I'd meant to.

His lips moved slowly down, first to my chin, and then all the way down my neck. They explored the whole of my throat, leaving the blood beneath my skin boiling. One of his hands felt straight down the side of my upper body, stopping itself to sit in the curve of my waist.

I was suddenly overcome with something I had never felt before. I didn't quite understand it - It hit me so fast. It felt like there was a fire blazing inside of my body, moving it's way up my legs and then rolling along my middle. The fire made me excited - it felt good to me. I felt like I needed more of him, like it was impossible to ever get quite enough.

Jacob pulled away from my lips, gasping for air. He quickly removed my hand from his face and sat straight up with surprise in his eyes. What had I done wrong?

He cleared his throat after a moment and looked back at me.

"Well, that was very, um..... intense," he managed.

I blushed; I must have overwhelmed him with my thoughts. I was still confused though - why had I felt that way? What could this new emotion be identified as? I tried to remember it completely, but to no avail.

"Let's go for a walk, Ness," Jacob said as he pulled himself off of the couch.

Was he blushing? How weird.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten - Difficult**

"And you thought you had it rough!" I heard Jacob's husky voice coming from the livingroom. "You should see how they all act around her, the way that they look at her..... I could have killed that guy yesterday!"

"At least she's not in love with anyone else," my father answered him. Were they talking about me?

"Renesmee's awake," Dad said. Everything was quiet for a few moments, then Dad said, "What was that?" to someone.

"Bella!!!" he yelled, his voice becoming more distant by the end of the word.

I jumped up out of bed and ran to the livingroom. Jacob stared up at me with wide eyes.

"What's going on?" I asked him

"I'm so sorry, Ness. I was trying so hard not to think about yesterday, but it just kept creeping back into my head," he answered, his eyes full of apology.

"Yesterday?" What had happened yesterday that was such a big deal? I reviewed the previous day, and then the blood drained from my face. I had thought some pretty explicit things yesterday when I was with Jake, and I had put every thought straight into his head.

I turned around to see my parents approaching. They stopped right in front of me, and Mom took a long deep breath.

"Why don't you sit down, Renesmee?" she offered. I did as she asked.

"It seems we have something to discuss." She frowned and bit her lip. She looked as nervous as I was. Dad just stood by the door frowning as I swallowed the giant lump in my throat.

"What do you know about sex?" Mom asked, looking me dead in the eyes.

I felt my eyes start to bulge out of my head. I would have never thought she would blurt something like that out. Especially since she should already know that I know what I need to; she's the one that told me about it.

"She knows plenty," Dad answered for me, then after a moment he turned to Jacob and said, "Why don't you and I go have a little chat of our own?"

They disappeared out of the door together in silence.

"Don't worry about him," Mom said as she sat down next to me on the couch. I wasn't worried about him - I was actually glad they were gone. This felt like a conversation I should be having alone with my mother.

"Why don't you explain what happened yesterday?" She began.

"Jacob was kissing me, and I was letting him see it through my eyes."

"And?" she urged.

"And....it got very.....intense," I said slowly, using Jacob's description.

"I see..... so he was in your head the whole time?"

"Yes."

"What were you feeling?"

"I can't describe it," I said, placing my hand to her face. I showed her only the emotions that I had, and left out all the rest. Her eyes grew wide, but she quickly smoothed her expression.

"Renesmee," she began. "That feeling you had yesterday was desire...... I know I've explained the mechanics of things well enough, but I haven't told you about all of the emotional stuff."

"What do you mean?"

"The feeling you got yesterday was only the beginning. You'll probably be feeling it alot more, if your father doesn't kill Jacob."

I ignored her jab and thought over the rest. Suddenly, everything clicked into place.

"I wanted to have sex yesterday!!!" I yelled. Mom looked flabbergasted.

"Sorry - moment of realization," I said sheepishly. I really hope that Dad and Jacob didn't hear that.

"So what if we..... you know..... would you be angry?" There would be no real way to hide it, so I might as well know what the response would be.

Mom took another deep breath, "Your father and I had a long discussion about you a few days ago, Ness. He can see inside of your mind, so he knows how mature you are, and I don't need to see your mind to know for myself," She looked straight into my eyes again. "You are an adult now, and you are definitely smart enough to make your own decisions. All that we ask is that you finish school, and don't move out too quickly. The rest of what you do is up to you, but - to answer your last question - if you and Jacob do......that, you would probably need to keep him away from your father for awhile."

Huh? What? That was _not_ quite the answer I had been expecting.

"So what, I could just go out there and have sex with him right now and you're not going to say anything?!"

"I never said I wouldn't say anything, Renesmee. But I know that I can't stop you from living your life how you want to. I probably wouldn't, even if I could. I understand better than anyone what you're going through - I was human when I fell in love with your father, and when you were born. The vampire part of you only intensifies all of your emotions. I just want you to do whatever will make you happy."

I threw my arms around her quickly and muttered "Thanks, Mom. So much."

I stood from the couch and tried to listen to the forest surrounding my home, seeing if I could pick up anything from Jake or Dad. I did, and much closer than I'd expected. They must be on their way back now.

"You shouldn't listen all the time then!" Jake was yelling.

"Just you remember that that's my baby girl in there!!" Dad said back.

I found this last bit of the conversation almost comical. I was no baby girl anymore, I was a full grown woman. And I was allowed to do womanly things now.

"Fine, go on then, you full grown woman," Dad yelled. He was still mad, but you could tell he found my thoughts funny. Jake walked in behind him, and I led him straight back out the door.

We ran in silence until we reached a point far away enough so that we would not be eavesdropped on.

"So what did Dad say to you?" I asked as I came to an abrupt stop. Jacob had stayed human the whole time, so there was no need to wait for him to phase before speaking.

"Alot of different things, but basically that if I ever disrespected you, he would tear me limb from limb. What did your mom say to you?"

"She told me that I was smart enough to make my own decisions, and to do whatever will make me happy."

"Really? So we could just make love right now, and nobody is going to do anything??" Jacob half yelled.

"They wouldn't like it, but we'd both survive unscathed, I think."

"Hmmmmm......" Jacob raised an eyebrow at me.

I laughed out loud. "We're not going to right now!"

He laughed with me. "Just tell me whenever you decide you want to."

"I promise that you'll be the first to know - unless, of course, my dad is within a three mile radius." We both laughed together.

"Can I ask you something, Ness?"

Anything," I promised.

"Well, yesterday you seemed pretty sure, even though you didn't quite understand it...... so why'd you change your mind?"

"I just want to figure something out first. And also, I really liked the way I felt yesterday. I think I should experience some more of that part."

He must have really liked that answer. He kissed me sweetly, placing my hand to his face again. One of his hands wound its fingers through the roots of my hair, and the other trailed up the skin of my back, underneath my shirt. His hand freed my hair, and then moved slowly down to the small of my back.

He lifted me up from the ground and stood straight. I wrapped my legs around his waist and gasped for air as I kissed him harder. I could feel myself getting carried away, but I didn't care. All that I cared about right now was Jacob, and the fire he was making burn hotter inside of me.

I could give in right now. I could lay down here and let Jacob fulfill every single desire that I had for him. I would surely enjoy it, and so would he, so why shouldn't I?

Jacob plucked me off of him, setting me softly back to my feet. I laid back on the ground to catch my breath.

"This is going to be difficult," he gasped as he laid down beside me.

"Can I ask you something now?"

"Anything," he mimicked me.

"Have you ever been with anyone before?" I asked him, peeking up through my lashes.

"Of course not," he answered as he sat up on his elbow. "Not even close."

"That's good." Very good....

"So what were you saying earlier, about there being something you wanted to figure out?"

"I'm not sure what could happen..... afterwards, I mean."

He stared at me, still confused.

"I'm not sure what I'm physically capable of."

"Ohh.... I hadn't considered that....."

"Yeah," was all I could answer.

We got up and started walking back towards the house, slowly for us. Dad was standing in the living room when we entered. He eyeballed us dramatically as he sifted through our brains.

_Stop that, _I told him. _Nothing happened._

"Just checking," he said and then frowned up at Jacob. "Difficult, indeed," he muttered before walking quickly out of the door.

"What was that all about?" I finally asked when I could no longer hear my father's Volvo speeding away.

"I, um, have a very vivid memory," he coughed.

"Yeah, but you'd think you would be used to it by now," I said sternly.

He grinned down at me sheepishly, "I can't help it sometimes, especially when I'm excited."

I giggled at him. "Well..... the house is completely empty....."

He threw me over his shoulder and ran to my room, slamming the door behind him. He set me upright on the bed, then put his face to my neck and said, "Mmmmm...... you smell so good, Ness."

"So do you." I leaned back on the bad. Jacob laid down beside me, and I pulled myself into his chest. I slowly ran my fingers up and down along the side of his chest..... his beauty was unbearable.

I suddenly jerked myself upright, ripping off the sweater I had worn over my tank top today. Jacob sat up and stared at me in awe. I practically jumped on him then, straddling his legs, and pulled his shirt off over his head in one fluid motion. I threw it across the room where it crumpled to the floor.

My hands thoroughly examined the entire expanse of his chest, stomach, and back as our lips moved passionately against one another's.

After a few minutes, I could not breathe anymore, so I pushed Jacob back down on the bed and laid on top of him.

"So..... Very...... Difficult," he gasped.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven - Halloween**

"That's what I'm supposed to wear tonight?!" I shreiked. Alice was standing across the room from me, holding up what was supposed to be my Halloween costume. It was a tiny satin green and purple corsetted dress with no sleeves and delicate toole wings attached at the back. The bottom was made of toole, too. Tiny little pieces of it that were almost see through.

"That's the shortest skirt I've ever seen in my life!"

She rolled her eyes at me. "You wear short skirts all the time, Nessie. Besides, you said you wanted to be a fairy this year, and I got you the prettiest costume I could find. Now just go and try it on," she ordered, flinging the dress at me.

I went to the bathroom and stripped down. The dress was so tiny, I had to force it on myself.

"Alice, come tie me up," I said in a normal voice. She was there in a flash, pulling ribbons tight to my back.

"Now see," she said as she motioned to the full - length mirror, "You look beautiful. Jacob's going to love it!"

"I wouldn't say that....." I told her as I turned around in the mirror and made sure all of my privates were still private. I looked back at her with a smile when I was satisfied.

"You're right, it's perfect. Thanks, Alice."

She squeezed my up tightly.

"My pleasure," she said as she kissed me on the forehead. "I have to go set everything up. Don't be late!!" She breezed out of the door. I changed back into my regular clothes and went back to my room to lay down, turning on my mp3 along the way.

"The kite string pops, I'm swallowed whole by the sky, we smoke the bones of baby dolls....." I sang along with the music. I was really nervous about tonight - Alice had thrown together a Halloween party at her new home, and she'd invited every single person that went to her new school. She had practically begged me and Jake to go; I agreed quickly, as the thought of a bunch of vampires throwing any type of horror themed party had easily won me over, even though Alice swore it would be nothing like that. But Jacob was not excited at all, as usual. I was starting to think he didn't like being seen with me.

Alice had asked for my help picking out the playlist for tonight, so I had thrown in a bunch of Cradle of Filth, and of course, Acid Bath along with a few of my other favorites. It was Halloween after all, and at least now I wouldn't have to listen to crappy dance music all night long.

I heard a car pulling up close and flew out of my room - Jacob was finally here. I ran through the front door and leaped into his arms, giving him a huge kiss on the cheek.

"Hey," I smiled nonchalantly.

He chuckled. "Hey, Ness," he said, and then carried me back inside and plopped me onto the bed.

"So do I get to see your costume, or are you going to make me wait?"

"I am going to make you wait," I giggled. "What are you going to wear tonight?"

He looked down at himself, holding his hands out.

"It's supposed to be a costume party."

"Maybe I'll phase when we get there. Nobody'd ever know the difference," he joked. "Will you at least tell me what you're going as?" he asked.

"A fairy. It's very pretty."

He sighed. "Are you sure you wouldn't rather go as something else? A fish, maybe? Or a tree?"

"Ummm....no.....why?" I asked him confused.

He grimaced. "Because I have a feeling I'm going to be spending most of the night chasing guys away from you."

I laughed loudly. "Hopefully, you'll be spending most of the night with these arms around me," I said as I pulled his arms around my waist. "Don't worry about anyone else - the only person that matters to me is you."

We laid back on the bed and listened to the music for awhile in silence.

"I guess we should leave now," Jake said eventually.

We drove for two hours on the highway, and then another forty five minutes on back roads to reach the Cullens' new house. I had some deja vu as we rounded the last corner before arriving - it looked almost exactly the same as the old house that was far out in front of mine. We didn't knock when we got there, because everyone was sure to have already heard us. We made our way up the stairs until we found Alice's room.

"Hey guys!" she greeted us, giving us both hugs. "Come on, Nessie, we have to get you ready!" Alice sang to me as she danced around. She was obviously extremely excited about tonight.

We went together into her huge bathroom where she stripped me down herself. She eased my costume over my head and laced it up quickly, then positioned the wings so they went out at the same angle. She handed me a box of shoes, then laced those up for me too after they were placed on my feet. Their ribbons matched the green and purple of my dress, and the ribbons wound around half of my calf.

I started to walk back to her bedroom, but she grabbed me and pushed me down into the little chair in front of her giant mirror.

"I am not finished with you yet," she smiled. "Jacob's going to die when he sees you."

"Yeah, or kill somebody else when they do," I laughed.

She spun my chair away from the mirror so that I could not see my face as she applied multiple cosmetics to it. I didn't usually wear any makeup - I didn't really feel the need to. She spun me back around after about five minutes.

"What do you think?" she asked as I examined her work. My eyelids were now a very pale pink and gold, with a light dusting of glitter just below my eyebrows.

"I think you should be a cosmetician, honestly."

She clapped her hands and bounced up and down. It was so easy to please Alice. After a few seconds, we heard the doorbell ring.

"They're here!" she said excitedly. "I'll meet you down there!!"

I walked slowly back to Alice's room where Jacob was waiting on me. he looked up when he heard me shut the bathroom door. His eyes got wide and his mouth dropped open as he looked me over.

"What?" I asked, suddenly self-conscience. I looked down, half expecting to see my skirt tucked into my panties.

"It's going to be a very hard night," he answered.

We walked down the long staircase, and I was very pleased to hear 'Dusk and Her Embrace' blaring through the room. Some people were starting to stare as we got closer, whether at me or at Jacob I wasn't sure. I scanned the room until my eyes fell on a familiar face.

"Jasper!!" I screamed as I ran at a normal human pace over to hug him. He had decided to forgo the costume part like Jacob had.

"Renesmee!!" he greeted me back. I could tell he was picking up on my excitement.

"Hey, Jazz," Jacob said as he caught up to us. Jasper shot him a somewhat hostile glance.

"That's my baby neice, Dog. You might want to tone it down a bit."

"How do you know that it's me? Look around," Jacob told him.

Every male in the room had their eyes trained on me. Half of them turned away as we noticed their stares.

"I see your point," Jasper muttered, grinding his teeth together. Then he grinned at Jacob and said, "I feel bad for you."

"Join the club," Jacob answered.

"Don't worry about them," I told him. "I told you earlier - the only one that matters to me is you."

"Yeah, Jacob, don't be so jealous. You're the one that actually has her," Alice's voice sang from behind us.

"That's true," Jake smiled and wrapped his arms around me.

"Now, try and keep your cool - I have to introduce you both to everyone!"

Alice pulled us through the room, introducing me and Jake as some friends from back home. Jacob kept his hold on me firm, like he actually thought someone was going to try something. They all just stared at us gaping for the most part, but a few people tried at some small talk.

Alice eventually left us alone to mingle, and Jacob led me quietly to an empty room. We left the lights off so as not to bring attention to our whereabouts, and crossed the large room to sit down on the bed.

"Did I tell you how beautiful you look tonight?"

"No, not yet," I answered him happily. I was starting to worry he didn't think so.

"Well, you look perfect."

"So, you like it then?"

"Of course I do. I just wish everyone else didn't like it so much."

I rolled my eyes at him. "You know they can't help it. I could wear a garbage bag and people would still notice me. I'm a predator, and they have no idea that they're supposed to be the prey."

"Then how come people don't act that way towards Alice and Blondie?"

"Because, I'm half human, too."

"There's alot more to it than that," he told me.

"You're just biased, Jake."

"Sure, sure."

"Why does it even bother you so much? Who cares if people stare at me?"

"It's not just that the stare - they practically rip your clothes off with their eyes. I know what guys are thinking when they look at you the way they do."

"How would you know what anyone is thinking?"

"I know what I'm thinking when I look at you like that."

"If that's the way you see things, why aren't you just proud to be with me?"

"I am proud to be with you! You're the most beautiful thing in the world! I just always feel like at any given moment, someone is going to come and try to snatch you up."

I sat up onto my knees. "Jacob Black, no one in this world could ever take me away from you. This is the only skin I ever want to touch," I placed my hand to his cheek and made him look at me. "These are the only eyes I ever want to get lost in," I put both hands on his arms, " these are the only arms I ever want to hold me tight," I placed my fingertips to his lips, "And these are the only lips I ever want to kiss. Forever."

"Well, when you put it that way...." he pulled me up into his lap and kissed me sweetly.

"Renesmee," he said suddenly. "What would you say if I asked you to marry me right now?"

I did not see that coming. "Are you asking me to?"

"Hypothetically speaking," he assured me.

"I don't know.... I guess I'd say that we should wait until I'm out of school."

"What if I asked you after that?"

"Well.... then I would say yes."

"You would? You would really want to marry me?" He looked both happy and confused.

"Of course I would. Then you would be mine forever."

"I have something for you, Ness. And don't worry, it's not an engagement ring." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a long chain with a sphere dangling from it. Inside of the sphere, the middle was a very bright orange, and all around the center was different shades of red, blue, gray, pink, and purple. It looked exactly like a sunrise, captured into this tiny little ball.

I smiled hugely. "It's beautiful," I told him as I moved my hair to the side so he could put it around me neck. He clasped it into place quickly.

"You really like it?"

"It's perfect," I said, rolling it around in my palm to see it from every angle. "It will always make me think of you."

"I hoped so," he beamed his sunshine smile. "I guess we better get back though before we're missed."

After the party was over, Jacob was ready to go to bed. I told him to go on without me; There was something important I needed to do while I was here for the night.

I found Carlisle's office fairly easily, and knocked lightly at the door.

"Come in, Renesmee," his voice said from the other side. I went through the door and shut it behind me, crossing the large room to give him a big hug and kiss.

"Well, don't you look lovely this evening?" he noted politely. I was still wearing my costume.

"Thanks. Alice got ahold of me," I laughed, and he joined in.

I cleared my throat in preparation. "I was actually hoping that you could help me out with something...."

"I know, dear. Edward already explained what you want to know."

"And?"

"I cannot be sure yet. You and Jacob are genetically compatible, but I can't know if your body would even allow a pregnancy," he said slowly.

"So, I would need to be careful, then?"

"That would be best. We should have more information for you soon, though."

"We?"

"Your parents and I. we're planning on going to find Nahuel, hopefully he can give us the answers we seek."

"Why didn't they tell me they were leaving?"

"We only decided it this evening."

"Oh," I said. "Well.... thank you so much for trying to help me, Grandpa."


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter Twelve - Perfect**

"Keep her safe and sound," My dad said to Jacob for the millionth time.

Both of my parents were leaving for a few weeks with Carlisle. Their plan was to go to South America for about two weeks to find Nahuel again, and then my parents were going to go alone to Isle Esme for a second honeymoon. I had somewhat ruined their first one.

"You know that I will," Jake told him again. Dad did know that Jacob would keep me safe - they would never have left without me otherwise. He was more worried about what we would be doing with our privacy. He'd tried to force Alice on me as a babysitter, but I refused. They can't only let me make my own decisions when they're around.

"I can always call and have her come and check on you," he said to my thoughts.

_No, thank you, _I told him mentally. _I will be perfectly fine by myself._

"Except that you're not going to be by yourself...." he answered.

Mom and Dad and Carlisle all gave me huge hugs and kisses before piling into Dad's car. I waited outside with Jacob until their car was completely out of sight.

We went into the house and to my room. I turned on some music low and laid out my books for homework. It was Friday, so I technically didn't need to do this yet, but I figured I might as well get it over with.

"Homework?" Jacob asked skeptically, raising an eyebrow at me. "Can't you wait til Sunday?"

"I don't want to think about school on Sunday," I told him. "I want to concentrate on nothing but you after I get this out of the way."

He smiled. "Do you mind if I take a nap while you're working, then?"

"Of course not. I'll wake you up when I'm done."

After I finished with my homework, I headed into the bathroom to take a shower. It wouldn't hurt to let Jake sleep a little longer.

I let the warm water run over my body, washing myself slowly. When I got out, I dried my hair quickly and went to put my clothes back on, but when I turned around, I realized I had forgotten to grab anything to wear. I wrapped my towel around my body and walked to my room to put something on.

Jacob was sitting up when I walked in. My eyes moved across the room towards my closet, but then went back to him. He looked so.... unbearably sexy. I suddenly felt the fire I was beginning to grow accustomed to flaring up in me again - and Jacob wasn't even touching me this time. I made my decision in seconds.

I dropped my towel and it heaped to the floor at my feet. Jacob stared at my naked body in complete shock and elation. I jumped straight onto him and literally ripped his clothes to shreds, kissing him with more force than I'd meant to. He quickly flipped our positions so that he was on top of me.

He pulled his lips away from me far enough to see my face. "Are you sure you want to do this?" he asked.

"Shut up, Jacob," I whispered into his ear.

I woke up in Jacob's arms, wearing only a sheet on top of me. I looked up at him shyly when I realized he was already awake.

"Good morning," he said with a huge smile on his face. I giggled at his expression.

"Did you sleep well?" he asked me, still grinning hugely.

"Of course I did. Did you?"

"Best sleep of my life. You shared all of your dreams with me."

I tried to remember what I had dreamt of the night before, but all I could think about was what we did before we fell asleep.

"What did I dream about?" I asked him.

"Everything that happened last night...... over and over again until you woke up." He kissed me on the top of my head. "You are the bravest person I know."

I giggled at him. "Why do you say that?"

"Because, you practically jumped me, not that I'm complaining."

"Did you, um...... like it?"

"It was perfect, Ness," he said as he playfully ruffled my hair. "Absolutely perfect."

I got up after awhile and reluctantly dressed myself. Once Jacob had seen all that there was to see, I didn't even see the need for clothes anymore. So I put on as little as possible, dressing in a small skirt and tiny shirt. I went to the kitchen, where he was getting him something to eat.

"So what do you want to do today?" I asked him as he crammed food into his mouth.

"I don't know. What do you want to do today?"

"Hmmmmm...... I could think of something fun......" I teased. I had not gotten enough of him the night before.

He finished his hot dog quickly and then swept me back off to my room for a repeat performance.

Later that evening, we laid around lazily and listened to my favorite songs. He held me for hours, not saying much but kissing the top of my head every few minutes. I knew then that I had made the right decision - we were only closer now than we had been before. When the moon was clear, I decided I actually would like to go somewhere.

"Do you want to go for a walk?" I asked him. "It looks like a beautiful night."

"Sure," Jake agreed as he stood up to put some clothes back on. I admired his body in the moonlight - he was like a peice of art. His skin was perfectly smooth and hard, yet soft at the same time. He definitely was perfect.

We left the house and walked around in the trees. The darkness made everything look different, and I liked it in a way. Jacob was like a ball of light sweeping through the forest at my side, lighting everything up in his path.

"Jacob.....would you let me ride on your back?" I had always wanted to ask him, but this was the first time I thought I had a chance.

"I don't know, it might not be safe for you...."

I laughed at him. "Do you really think that anything would happen to me? You spend half your time with me in your other form, and you haven't once raised a paw to me."

"Well, alright, I guess just this once. But you get to hold my clothes," he said smiling. He stripped down right in front of me and handed me his shorts and t-shirt. His body shimmered slightly, and he burst into the giant reddish - brown wolf that I loved. I climbed on top, securing myself by grabbing big chunks of his fur, and said "Ready!"

Jacob in his wolf form was almost as attractive to me as him as himself, but in a different way. Wolf Jacob was huge, at least nine feet on his hind legs. his hair was short now, and a beautiful russet color. There was no way not to be comfortable with him when he was like this; he couldn't speak, and he was like a giant dog.

He came to a clearing and stopped, phasing back quickly after I was off of him. He laid down as he was - completely naked - and I laid down beside of him. We watched the stars as the clouds moved around the earth, allowing us to see different ones at different times. We stayed without moving a muscle for almost two full hours.

"Would you answer me something honestly, if I asked?" he finally said.

"Of course I would."

"Did _you_ like it? I mean, you seemed to, but....."

I placed my hand to his face and replayed my emotions while we had been intimate. He seemed very pleased with this, as a huge smile lit up across his perfect features. He pulled me towards him and kissed me softly, placing his hand over mine on his cheek so that I would know not to remove it.

"I want to try it like this the whole time, next time," he whispered. His words excited me, and my fire blazed white hot yet again.

"Are you sure? It might be a little bit.....overwhelming, you know, seeing everything from two points of view at the same time," I said.

"I think I'll take my chances..." He muttered as he pulled me underneath of him.

On Monday, I had to leave my Heaven to go to school, and I was extremely unhappy about this.

"I'll go tomorrow! I can't be away from you today, not yet," I whined to Jacob. He pulled my face into his chest.

"I know, Ness, but you promised your parents you would go to school while they were gone, and we'll be together again in just a few hours."

Hmmm... a few hours. I could have Jacob again, in a few hours.

"Ooookaaaay, fine," I said, defeated. He probably would have let me stay if I had kept it up - he hated it when I went to school anyways. He hated that all the boys liked to flirt, and he hated it that he couldn't snap them all in two. I wouldn't have let him.

It felt so strange pulling up to the high school. It was almost like I had been on another planet for the past three days, a planet where no one at all existed except for me and Jacob. I couldn't wait to return to this perfect place - in a few hours.

"Hey, Ness!" Brittany called as I walked into my first class. She had spent a few short evenings hanging out with me and Jake recently, and had picked up on his nick-names for me. Pretty soon, she had everyone that would speak to me calling me Ness and Nessie. All except for Anthony, who I was still angry with. He would only call me Renesmee, and he did it every day that he apologized to me again. I wished he would just give it up - it had been over a month ago and if I hadn't let it go by now, I probably never would.

I was secretely almost thankful to him in a way, though. His actions had led to my first fire, even if it wasn't burning for him. If he had never assaulted me that day, I might not have felt it so soon, and then everything would be different now.

"Hey, Brittany," I answered her as she walked over to take her seat in front of me.

"Hey, did you do something different?" she asked me suddenly.

"No, why?"

"You just look a little different, like there's more color in your cheeks or something....."

I blushed and she eyeballed me dramatically and giggled.

"Did you do something you've never done before? With Jacob, perhaps?" she asked me speculatively. One blush ran into the other, creating a weird double-blush. Brittany's eyes got wide as she gasped, "Oh my God, you have to tell me what happened!"

"I will," I reassured her. "But not til class is over, okay." She nodded knowingly. The second the bell rang, she spun around and waited for me to dish it all to her.

"You guys did it, didn't you?" she asked me excitedly after I didn't speak first.

"Yes, we did. Quite a lot, actually," I giggled.

"How did it happen? Where were your parents? Did you like it?" she flung questions at me as we walked from class.

"I don't know how, it just kind of did. My parents are out of town and he's staying with me until they get back. And yes, it was the best weekend of my life," I told her, answering as fast as she had asked.

"Awww, you guys are so perfect together!" she squealed.

The week flew by with me and Jacob spending our nights passionately, and Brittany making my days embarassing. Somehow, she could always tell what I had done the night before, just by looking at me. By the beginning of the next week, she didn't even ask me anymore. She just gave me a look that told me I was a bad girl.

The time for my parents to come back was creeping up way too soon. On the one hand, I wanted to try and get my fill of Jacob before they came back, if that was even possible. But on the other hand, the more we did what we were doing, the harder it would be to hide my thoughts from my father. Random peices of things kept flying through my head at all times: My nails raking down Jacob's back so hard that it made him bleed, the way I moaned his name every night, how we had done things we weren't really supposed to all over my bedroom, the livingroom, the kitchen, the woods....... the list was endless.

After we had had our fun for the night on Friday, I decided to bring up my worries.

"I don't know, Ness. We'll just have to try really hard to not think about it, I guess."

"You know he'll be listening as hard as he can when he's here. It probably won't even take him a day to figure us out."

"It's okay, Nessie," he said as he stroked my bare back. "They told you that you could make your own decisions, and they know what that means. Besides, there's not much they could do about it at this point."

"Just please don't picture me naked if my Dad is anywhere around. That would be really sick, him seeing that."

Jacob laughed. "I will try, but I can't promise anything. Once you've seen something that amazing, it's stuck in your head forever."

I drifted away to dream land as I laid there on top of him, seeing all of my absolute favorite moments of our time alone as I slept.

The day before Thanksgiving finally arrived, and I was more nervous than I had ever been in my life. My parents would be home today. I could tell that Jacob was nervous, too, no matter how he would try to convince me otherwise.

When they finally arrived, I made sure to focus on nothing but them as they hugged me and kissed me and thanked Jacob for staying with me multiple times. We all sat down together in the living room as they told us all about their trip. I listened intently, thinking only of the words they were saying, and trying to picture what all they had done.

Mom had just finished a joke that Dad was laughing at, when all of a sudden, he stopped and looked at Jacob. His eyes grew wide with anger, and Jacob could not look away.

"In the kitchen!!!!!!?????" Dad yelled at him, "And right there on the couch???!!!" Uh-oh. We'd been given up, and now he knew everything.

"Jacob, please go now," Dad said as he rubbed his temples.

"No!" I yelled, blocking his view from Jake.

"He can come back later, Renesmee. Hopefully his head will be a little more clear," he looked up at me. "But I would prefer to not have to watch all of the disgusting things you both did while I was gone."

"Don't say that, Edward," Mom politely interjected. "There's nothing disgusting about it."

"You're not the one watching it," Dad reminded her. "Jacob, please," he said, turning back to him. "You can come back later to _sleep_." he specified.

I didn't mind. I knew that we wouldn't be doing that with my parents a few rooms over. We'd just have to go to the woods, or to Jacob's house.....

"Renesmee, please," Dad said slowly as Jacob hugged me goodbye. "You are much better than this at controlling your thoughts."

_Sorry, Dad. I can't help it sometimes._


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter Thirteen - Newcomer**

I woke early on Thanksgiving. Jacob was sleeping soundly beside me, so I left him be as I made my way to the bathroom. My parents were actually home this morning, probably because we all had plans to eat at Charlie's. Well, he would eat, at least.

Mom and Dad mumbled hello's to me, not being able to look me in the face. Dad was particularly upset, but I wouldn't let him get to me. He would eventually come to terms with the loss of my virginity. Hopefully.

I showered and dressed quickly and then decided I would go for a hunt. It was better to get it over with before Jake woke up and decided to go with me. I felt slightly less monstrous when I murdered things alone.

I flew quickly through the woods, searching out the scent of my prey. I caught a whiff of something that smelled alot like the wolves, but I ignored it. One of them must have been through here last night.

I focused in on a small group of deer that was already close to me. I chose the largest male and lurched myself at him. I began to drain him slowly, loving and regretting every drop.

About halfway through my meal, I caught another whiff of werewolf. There was something unfamiliar about it..... and it was close. Very close. Something rustled in the trees about twenty five feet away from me, and I readied myself for what was coming.

I dropped to a crouch and let a wild snarl rip from my throat.

_Dad, _I thought, _ If you can hear me, I need you now. I just hope I'm not too far away......_

The thing behind the trees revealed himself. I gasped in spite of myself as I looked him over - he looked like he could be Jacob's brother. He had the same russet colored skin, the same black hair and eyes. He was also very tall and muscular. But this was not anything like Jacob, I reminded myself. This person/ wolf was a threat.

He did not look threatening, though. He looked like he was a blind man seeing for the first time. He reached his arm up and moved his hand like he was tracing the planes of my face, even though he was still standing more than twenty feet away from me. I gasped again when I recognized his expression - he was looking at me the same way that Jacob looked at me.

The wind shifted suddenly, blowing from behind me. I could smell my father getting close, and I mentally thanked him. The man staring at me smelled him too, and he quickly turned and ran away.

My dad stopped in front of me long enough to yell "Go home, Renesmee!" and then sped off after the newcomer. My mother was not far behind him.

I ran home as fast as I could, shocked at what had just happened. Jacob was pacing back and forth across the living room when I flew through the door.

"Nessie!!" He ran over to hug me. "What happened? What's going on?" he demanded.

I opened my mouth to explain, but the words were stuck in my throat. I placed my hand to his face and replayed the whole scene for him. His eyes were wide when it was over. I took my hand away.

"Another wolf? Where did he come from?" Jake asked.

"I think you're missing an important piece," I told him as I placed my hand to his face once more. I showed him the way the man had looked at me, the way he'd reached out to me. Jacob was completely speechless. He pulled me into his lap and rocked us gently, his eyes still wide with panic.

"What does it mean?" I whispered.

"He imprinted on you....." he explained.

"How can you be so sure?"

"I know that look.... you know it, too. You thought it yourself."

"Is that even possible, though?"

"I don't know.... I didn't even think there were anymore of us out there......"

I hadn't thought so either. Jake continued to rock us until my parents finally came back. Then, he set me down gently and stood up.

"Why didn't you hear him??!!" he half - screamed at my dad.

"He was too far away," Dad replied calmly. "I could only hear Renesmee because I know her voice so well."

"Did you find him?" I asked in a small voice.

"No," Mom answered this time. "He was too fast. He is extremely fast."

"What does it all mean?"

"Nessie, did you see the way he was looking at you?" Dad asked.

I nodded. I was so beyond confused - how could they both have imprinted on me? If I understood imprinting as well as I thought I did, this whole situation was impossible. I could not have two soulmates.

"I would have thought the same thing......" Dad said. He looked very deep in thought.

"What is it?" My mom asked. She was the only one left that didn't know what was going on yet.

"He imprinted on her. On _my_ Nessie!" Jacob said angrily.

She looked to my father for a second opinion.

"It's true, Bella. His mind was completely filled with her - that's why I couldn't find him after so long. He wasn't thinking of where he was going, he wasn't seeing anything around him. We have a very large problem on our hands."

"I have to get out of here." I stood, pulling Jacob behind me. Both of my parents nodded.

"We'll be at Charlie's most of the day. Don't come home alone," Mom said as we headed out the door.

Jake and I walked straight to the car, now that running was no longer safe.

"Where do you want to go?" he asked as he pulled away.

"Let's go to your house. Billy should be at Charlie's all day, too." I needed to be alone with Jacob. I needed to show him that he was my only soulmate, in my mind.

The little house was empty as expected when we arrived.

"I think everyone should know," Jake said as we walked through the living room. He was right, but I had other plans first.

"Wait til later, Jake. It's Thanksgiving, they're all probably off eating with their families."

He nodded in agreement.

"Let's not think about this today. Let's only think about us," I whispered in his ear once we'd reached his bed room. I pulled my clothes slowly off as he did the same.

"Jacob?" Billy yelled from the doorway.

"Crap," Jake muttered as he stood to dress himself. "I better go tell him what's up."

I stayed where I was. I did not want to discuss the events of this morning. I did not want some random stranger feeling a compulsion to be with me. I was thinking maybe I would stay here tonight.

"Ness?" Jacob asked when he came back to the room. "Do you care if I go talk to the pack now? They should all be done eating."

"That's fine. Can I stay here?"

He smiled. "Yeah, you can stay here as long as you want. Do you need me to call your parents?"

I nodded. I wouldn't want them to worry any more than they already were. I fell asleep when Jacob left, then woke up when he came back.

"What did they say?" I yawned.

"They're confused, same as us, but they've got my back. Everyone's going to start taking shifts around your house to see if they find him."

"Don't make them do that, Jacob. I'm sure I'll be fine - why would he hurt me?"

"I'm not taking any chances. You are precious to me Ness. I can't let anything happen to you."

I pulled him down beside me and stroked his back lightly before pulling his shirt off of him.

"Don't worry about anything," I whispered. "For tonight, the world is only made up of me and you." My obsession for Jacob was unfaltering.

We spent the next five hours in a place that _was_ only made up of me and him.

Afterwards, Jacob was laying silently beside me with his arms behind his head. I looked up at his face and noticed a small tear rolling down his cheek.

I had never seen Jake cry before, and I'd seen him every single day of my life. I quickly caught the tiny drop of moisture on my fingertip.

"What is it Jacob?"

"I...... I can not lose you, Renesmee."

"You won't. He won't hurt me."

"That's not the only thing he could do."

"What do you mean?" I propped myself up on my elbow.

"He's your soulmate. Too. He could have you for himself."

"I already chose my soulmate, and it's you. There's nothing anyone could say or do to take me away from you."

"I hope so."

"Jacob, look at me!" I ripped the sheet away that was covering my bare body. "Why can't you trust me? I've given every single piece of myself to you! How can I ever convince you that all I want - all I need - is you??"

"Shh, Ness." He petted my hair to calm me down. "I didn't mean it that way."

I didn't know what way he'd meant it, but I did not want to argue. All I wanted was Jacob's love, and for this morning to have never happened. I would have to settle for half of that.

I woke up alone. Where was Jacob? He wouldn't just leave me here like that, would he?

"Morning, Sleeping Beauty," Jake said as he poked his head into the room, making my previous thoughts seem stupid. "Do you want some eggs?"

"No, I'm not hungry. I could use some clothes, though," I said as I noticed my nudity.

Jacob rummaged through his little dresser and pulled out some gray sweats.

"They'll be too big, but it's the best I can do for now," he said as he handed them to me. "Billy's not here. You can come out whenever you want."

I threw on the giant clothing and made my way to the kitchen. Jacob was eating some turkey, probably leftovers from the meal he'd missed. He looked up at me when I walked in and a huge smile spread across his face.

"What?"

"You look so cute," he laughed.

"Huh?" I looked down at my over sized outfit. He must be going crazy.

"You should wear my clothes more often."

I sat down beside him and played with my necklace. "Half the time I'm with you, I don't wear any clothes at all," I laughed.

He nuzzled his face into my neck. "True," he said. "I like it that way." His hands pushed underneath the shirt and felt the length of my mid section. "Maybe you should just do away with clothes when we're alone."

"Maybe," I laughed. "Only if you do, too."

As I sat there cuddling with Jacob, I almost forgot all of my recently acquired problems. Almost.

"So, has anyone figured out anything yet?" I asked quietly.

"No. I will though, Ness. I promise."

"What did my parents say last night?"

He sighed heavily. "They're afraid this is going to turn into a fight. That - He - feels like he needs you now, and nobody knows how far he'll go to get you. We're all going to be a little overprotective until this is dealt with."

"He wouldn't hurt me though, right? I mean, he pretty much can't. Right?"

"I don't know. This is a new situation to all of us. I've never heard what would happen if we couldn't have the objects of our affection, because I'm not sure it's ever happened before."

"Well what would you do in his shoes? What if the situation were reversed?"

"If it was for you Nessie, I'd probably rip his throat out."

I jumped up from my seat. "You don't think he'd try to hurt you?!?" I screamed.

"Yeah, he probably will. I'm the only obstacle he would see, or the biggest one at least."

"No, Jake!! No!!!"

He pulled me gently back into my chair and rubbed my back. "Don't worry about me, Ness. Don't worry about anything. I'm going to make sure that we're both okay."

"No. We're going to make sure that we are both okay."

"No," he said easily. "Let me take care of this."

"If there is a fight, I'm going to be there."

"You can't do that. I have to protect you."

"We'll just see about that!" I glared, using my 'putting my foot down' voice.

"Don't be stubborn about this, Renesmee!" he glared back, using the same tone.

I turned away from him and crossed my arms childishly.

"I don't want to argue with you," he said in a small voice.

I sighed. "You're right. Let's not worry about any of this until we actually have to."

"Okay."

I cuddled back up to him as he finished his meal. I suddenly remembered something else important; it was like being with Jacob had wiped my mind clean. I still had not heard what my parents had found out about my..... capabilities.

"I need to get home soon," I told Jacob.

"Are you sure? Billy won't be back for awhile."

"No, I need to talk with my parents."

"Do you want me to just drop you off?" he asked sadly.

"You should be there too. This concerns you as much as it does me."


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter Fourteen - Nahuel**

"Nothing? Not one thing?" I asked my parents again.

"Nahuel is trying to find out what he can, but as far as we know, there has never been a couple quite like you two," Dad told me.

He was probably right - I'd never heard of a half-human, half-vampire girl falling in love with a shape-shifting human/ wolf boy.

"If he gets any information, he'll let us know."

I would have to just accept it for now - another question with no known answer. I looked up at Jacob who had his eyes on my father. He seemed to be trying to convey a message to him.

"I think I'll go find your mother, Renesmee. She's out running a shift with Quil," Dad told me. Jacob must have been asking him to leave. We stayed silent for a few minutes after he left.

"What's up?" I finally asked Jake.

"What if you can get pregnant. I mean..... you could be, already."

"If it's possible," I reminded him.

"Well what if it is?"

"I don't know. I guess we'd have another mouth to feed then."

"What about you, though?"

"What about me?" Where was he going with this?

"Would you....... would you be okay with it?"

"With having kids? I'm fine, so long as their yours."

"You would have kids with me?" He actually seemed shocked.

"Of course I would. They would be beautiful."

He hugged me up tightly. "You're amazing, Ness."

"What'd you expect me to say? 'No, I would never have kids with you'?"

"I didn't know what to expect. I never do with you."

Later that evening, we were all sitting together in the living room when there was a light knock at the door. Jacob jumped up from his seat and Mom looked alarmed, but Dad stayed completely calm.

"It's alright," he soothed. "Why don't you get the door, Nessie."

I crossed the room and pulled the door open. I did not recognize the figure standing in front of me, but I still knew who he was.

"Hello, Renesmee. It's nice to meet you again."

"Hello, Nahuel," was all I could get out. He was very..... mesmerizing. Dad laughed as he read my thoughts.

"Not only yours....." Dad murmured, making me blush. Mom looked confused, and Jacob looked angry. My pink cheeks always gave me away.

Why was Nahuel here? Had he found out anything for me?

"No, he's just visiting," Dad told me.

"Excuse my intrusion," Nahuel said politely as I moved aside so he could come in. "I just wanted to see you for myself after all that I've heard about you." He looked over at my father. "You were right, she is the most beautiful creature on Earth."

"Watch what you say about her," Jacob snapped.

Nahuel turned his gaze to him for the first time. "Or what?" he asked. "Get attacked by a dog?"

Jacob's body began to tremble.

"Hey, both of you stop it!" I told them. "You are both mature enough to act civilized."

"Yes, ma'am," Nahuel said with a smile. Jacob stayed standing up.

"Will you be staying here with us?" my mom asked Nahuel.

"If you would like," he answered. "I have money for a hotel, otherwise."

"As long as you don't mind the couch, we'd love to have you," she smiled.

"You've got to be kidding!" Jacob rumbled.

"We will _all_ be hospitable while our guest is here," Mom glared at him.

"I'm going to bed." Jake said.

"I'll be there after I change," I told him.

I went to the bathroom and changed into a pink silk shorts and cami set. I brushed my teeth and splashed cold water on my face. When I opened the door, Nahuel was standing there. He looked me up and down in a way that I was getting very used to.

"What are you doing tomorrow?" he asked me.

"I don't know," I said as I unclipped my hair and let it fall down around my face. He almost started to drool as he inhaled my scent. "I don't have school tomorrow."

"Well, maybe you could show me around," he suggested.

"I don't know.... we have somewhat of a situation right now." I explained yesterday's events to him.

"What are you, a dog magnet?" he laughed. I did not find it so funny. I stormed off to the living room to tell my parents good night, but the room was empty.

"They left," Nahuel said from behind me, "probably to make sure your new lover wasn't around." He was _really_ starting to get on my nerves. "I'm sorry, Renesmee," he said quickly. "I just think you could do so much better."

I laughed; I'd heard this before.

"You don't even know me. You don't even know him."

"I know enough." He put his nose close to me and inhaled deeply. "I can smell him on every inch of you."

"And?"

"And, a gentleman would have waited to have you."

"You are ridiculous!" I screamed. "You have absolutely no idea what you're talking about!!" I turned away from him and went straight to my room.

Jacob was actually asleep, despite all the noise I'd just made. I curled up into his chest and steamed until I fell asleep. I dreamt of punching Nahuel in the face.

The sun was bright when I woke up. It streamed in through my window, warming me and making me forget all of my problems.

"Mmmm," Jacob said as he stretched out beside me. "Nice dreams, Ness."

I laughed. "Yeah, pretty funny, huh?"

I got up and turned on my mp3, flipping through randomly until something pleased my ears.

"Let the blackness roll..... on......." Dax Riggs sang to me. Music was Heaven. Nahuel's voice sent me crashing back to Earth.

"What is this?" he asked through my door.

"Music," I said through my teeth.

"I like it," he said from my now open door.

"Do people not knock in South America?!" I slammed my door in his face.

"Feisty," I heard him say.

"Jacob, we have to go somewhere today," I said, spinning around to look at him.

"Where?" he asked.

"I don't know yet. I'll think about it in the shower."

After I blow dried my hair, I realized I'd forgotten my clothes. Again. I started back towards my room in my towel.

As I reached out for my doorknob, Nahuel peeked around the corner and whistled at me. This was the last straw. I flew into the living room where he sat.

"What is your problem?!" I yelled just inches from his lovely face. "Do you WANT me to hurt you?!"

"You can do whatever you'd like, so long as that's all your wearing," he laughed.

My eyes narrowed into slits as I sized him up; I think I could take him.

"You're really sexy when you're mad," he said.

All of a sudden, Nahuel was being pinned to the ground by a huge reddish-brown wolf. Jacob snarled in his face, baring his teeth in anger. I knew that this was not right - I did not really want him to get hurt, no matter how much he deserved it.

"Don't waste your time, Jacob. He's not worth it."

Jacob growled a few minutes longer, but eventually backed off and stalked back to my room with me behind him.

"You smell much better today, Renesmee!" Nahuel called from down the hall. I locked my door behind me.

Jacob phased and said nothing as he laid down on my bed. I threw my towel into my hamper and searched around the closet for a new outfit. I picked out some light blue jeans and a white tank top.

When I turned back around, Jacob was standing right there, still completely naked. My eyes skimmed over his perfection and I felt as if I might explode. He took my clothes from my hands and threw them to the bed.

I grabbed the back of his head and pulled his face to mine. We kissed each other roughly as he picked me up and carried me to my bed. He laid me down, and very slowly kissed every inch of my body. I was definitely going to spontaneously combust at any moment.

"Wait, Renesmee," Jake breathed as I repositioned myself.

"Why?" I half yelled. Didn't he want to?

"Of course I do," he answered my thoughts; both of my hands were on him. "Just not here. Not with him out there."

"Let's go then." I jumped up and threw my clothes on while Jacob did the same. I grabbed his hand and led him towards the front door.

Nahuel was sitting alone in the living room, and I could swear that he mumbled something like "disgusting" as we walked by.

Who was he to judge me? There was nothing disgusting about me and Jacob. He was perfect. Nahuel had no clue of anything to do with us. I could not understand why he had to be so rude.

We pulled up to Jacob's house and went inside. Luckily, Billy wasn't home. We flew to Jake's bedroom and picked up where we had left off.

It was slightly different this time; he was still angry from earlier, and I could feel that. He was slightly rougher, harder in a way. I enjoyed it immensely.

Four hours after we'd arrived, we decided it was time to go. All the tension inside of me was replaced by relaxation. Let Nahuel say what he wanted - I did not care anymore.

"Hey," I said to Mom and Dad when we got back.

"Hello, darling," Mom said with a smile. Dad only nodded - he was still upset with me, and my current thoughts were not helping that situation any. Nahuel stared at the floor

"So, anything yet?" I had almost forgotten about my new suitor. I wished I could forget about him completely.

"Nothing. Maybe he won't come back," Mom said hopefully.

"Wouldn't bet on that," Jake muttered.

I hoped Mom was right; he could just go away and leave everything back to normal. I knew things would not go that way, but I still hoped.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter Fifteen - Half-Breed**

The first sound I heard when I woke up was yelling.

"You are not good enough for her!" Nahuel screeched. Oh God..... this could not be happening.

"You think you are? Nobody is good enough for her!" Jacob screamed back.

"At least I would not assault her every day!! I would have waited a lifetime for what you've already taken away from her!!"

"You act like I forced myself on her! She loves me, for some reason!!! I could never deny her what she wants!!" Jacob yelled, his voice fused with sparks of pain.

"At least I'm not a mutt!!" Nahuel responded. I started to walk down the hall to break up their fight. It was ridiculous to argue about this.

"No, you're just a filthy half-breed!!" Jacob yelled back. I stopped walking, my legs not being able to move anymore. What had he just said??

Nahuel looked over at my still figure, his face seeming apologetic. Jacob followed his gaze and saw me standing there. He slapped both his hands over his mouth, but it was too late - he'd already said it.

So this was what he really thought of me. I was just something disgusting to him. Why had he let things get so far between us if this was how he truly felt about me? He could have saved us both the time and trouble.

I could feel my heart splintering apart in my chest. I had given Jacob everything I had to offer, and he'd taken it. Waves of pain, anger, rejection, and more anger flowed through me. He had betrayed my heart. He could never have really loved me if this was what I was in his mind. He had used me.

He took a step towards me.

"Don't," I said quietly, taking a step back from him.

"Nessie - " he took another step.

"Get away from me, Jacob. Stay away," I whispered. His face was a mask of pain, but I disregarded it. How could he be the one in pain when he cared nothing about me? We stayed still for a moment, and then I turned and went back to my bed room. I locked my door and turned on my mp3, pumping the volume up to it's highest point.

I needed to concentrate only on the noise, and block out what had just happened. I would deal with it when I could breathe again.

I laid down on my bed. Jacob's scent swirled up around me, and I quickly jumped up. I wanted to forget all about Jacob Black. I searched around my room for another place to sit, but everywhere I looked all I could see was him.

I finally settled on the closet floor. I curled up there and listened to every syllable of every word, every note of every instrument that my speakers were blaring at me. I searched for the Heaven that my music always gave to me.

There was no Heaven to be found, though. Not with Jacob gone. I was in hell. The love of my life thought that I was a 'filthy half-breed'. I thought he was perfect, and he thought that I was some vile creature. All the sunshine in my world was gone, leaving nothing but blackness behind.

I saw a piece of paper slide under my door. I ignored it. Whatever it was, I did not want to hear it. Or read it, in this case.

By the time it was nightfall, there were about fifty pieces of paper strewn out on the floor around my door, and whoever it was decided to give up. I hadn't moved at all from my original position, and wasn't planning to do so any time soon.

Why should I move? I could sit right here forever. I needed to; if I stood up, all the broken pieces of me would scatter, and the smallest shards would never be found again.

I eventually fell asleep, just as the sun was coming up. I had closed my eyes so that I would not have to see it, and I woke up on my bed with my music turned down very low.

I got up and turned it back up, not as loud as yesterday. I grabbed my sheet and pillow and went back to my closet. All of the papers from yesterday were stacked up neatly outside of the closet door. I could see Jacob's handwriting on the top piece, so I ignored them again. What could they say, that he was sorry he hadn't been honest sooner? Or maybe they were cruel, just like his previous words. Either way, I could not read them.

I did not cry once as I sat here. I was past the point of tears. I was in a place where the emotion can not be expressed at all. I was only quiet.

I drifted away to Otep's 'My Confession'.

"Renesmee?" a voice woke me. "Are you asleep?" The voice was not Jacob's so I decided to respond.

"No," I whispered.

Nahuel picked me up gently from the floor and carried me to my bed.

"I'm so sorry, Renesmee," he said as he placed me down easily on the mattress and went to my stereo to turn it down.

"It's not your fault," I answered weakly. It was no one's fault, really. Just an inevitability. Someone can only hide their true feelings for so long.

"That's not entirely true," he said with sadness in his voice. He sat down beside me. "Can I get you anything?"

I shook my head no.

"Do you want me to leave?"

"No. Stay with me, please." I felt like I needed him somehow. I felt like maybe he could stitch up the giant crater in my chest, for tonight at least. I didn't know why I thought that, but I did.

"I'll stay as long as you want," he promised. He was so sincere now, so different from what I'd thought him to be.

I put my head into his lap and drifted back to sleep as he lightly stroked my hair.

I dreamed that I was running through the forest blindly at night. Wolves howled, and I could never tell if I was trying to find them or trying to escape them. I only ran and ran, until I happened upon a clearing. Someone was standing before me with their back facing my direction. I reached out to see who it was, and they slowly turned around to face me - it was Jacob.

I awoke with a wild gasp.

"Are you okay?" Nahuel asked from above me. My head was still in his lap - he must not have moved while I was out.

"Yeah," I said as I tried to catch my breath.

"I'm sorry, I should have woke you. I didn't realize that was a bad dream."

"Were you watching?" I asked as I noticed he was holding my hand. He immediately dropped it.

"Yes."

I sat up to yawn and stretch. I looked at my reflection in the mirror across the room. I hadn't changed out of my pajamas from two nights ago. I walked stiffly to the closet, closing myself inside.

"Renesmee?" Nahuel asked anxiously. I wonder if it was because he thought I was mad, or if he thought I was going to lock myself in here again.

"I'm just changing," I assured him.

"Oh."

I found another shorts set and threw it on without looking at it. I could feel Nahuel's eyes on me as I came back to the bed, but I did not care. If Jacob didn't care, then neither did I. Let them all look. I curled back up and laid my head into Nahuel's lap again.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked cautiously.

"What's to talk about? You heard what he said."

"He didn't say it about you, though."

"What difference does it make? You and I are the same in that way. You can't find one of us disgusting without feeling the same way about the other."

"He doesn't think you're disgusting. He loves you."

"Since when are you on his side??" I snapped. He was wrong; Jacob did _not_ love me.

"I'm on your side, Renesmee. I just can't stand seeing you in so much pain. Jacob didn't mean what he said. He does love you - I can see that now."

"I don't think so. I'm not sure he ever did. Maybe I'll just go find that other werewolf - he's probably not so prejudiced," I attempted to lighten the situation unsuccessfully.

"Don't say that. If you decide to not be with Jacob, you can have anyone that you want." I sighed as he took my hand.

He was right - I could have anyone that I wanted. But I would never want anyone but Jacob. I would never love anyone the way that I loved him. He owned my heart forever. I had not decided to not be with him; it was another decision that was made for me.

He sighed as my thoughts flowed into him. "Do you want to talk to him?"

"I have nothing to say."

He let it drop and we were silent for a long moment. I looked at my clock and saw that it was just past midnight.

"It's getting late," I told him. "Do you want to go to bed?"

"That's okay. I'm here as long as you need me."

I scooted off of him. "You can lay down," I told him. There was no point in him being uncomfortable. He laid down beside me, and I pulled his arms tight around my body. He held me as I tried to go back to sleep.

It felt good to have him here, holding me close to him. It was almost natural in a way, like he was supposed to be here. Like this was where he belonged. Despite our previous attitudes towards one another, he was the only one I wanted to be around right now.

He hugged me tighter as he heard my thoughts, and I quickly drifted away. I dreamed of an infinite darkness, with one small point of light that was so far away. I went towards it for what felt like forever, and when I finally reached it, it was Nahuel.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter Sixteen - Apology**

"Renesmee?" Nahuel's voice woke me again. "Are you going to school today?"

School? I had forgotten about school.

"Your parents don't mind if you'd like to stay home," he told me.

"I don't know. I need a shower."

I grabbed some clothes and headed for the bathroom. I froze as soon as I reached the door.

"All night?" Jacob asked in a tiny voice. My heart panged at the sound, ripping my wounds open to bleed some more.

Why did he care who I spent my nights with? He saw me as something filthy. He did not want to be with me, so he had no right to even ask.

"Renesmee thinks that is none of your business," my dad said softly. "You've put her through a great deal -"

I hurried into the bathroom, plugging my ears. I did not want to hear anymore. I could not stand to hear another word from Jacob's mouth. I was stuck being hopelessly in love with him, and he did not want me at all. I could not be around him anymore.

I hurried into the shower, dragging it out for as long as I could. I blew my hair dry, brushed my teeth meticulously, and put my clothes on. I had unknowingly grabbed the tiniest shirt that I owned, and it made my decision for me - school was out for today.

I went back to my room, closing the door behind me. Nahuel was standing over my stereo, scrolling through my mp3 list.

"Sorry," he said when I was in. "I wanted to see the names of the bands you listen to. I love this new music."

"That's fine."

He looked up at me and smiled hugely. "You look lovely this morning," he said brightly.

I did not feel lovely, though. I felt absolutely hideous. Maybe I was.

"You should! You deserve to feel terrible!" my dad screamed from the living room. "No, Bella, it's true - you should hear the pain he's putting her through! He's made her feel like she's nothing!" he said exasperatedly.

_Don't worry, Dad. He can't help but to see me for what I am._

"I have to get out of here!" Dad screamed.

This was not fair. I did not want everyone around me to suffer just because I had to. I plopped down on the bed and placed a pillow over my face to muffle the scream.

Nahuel was staring at me cautiously as I removed the pillow and jumped to my feet.

"Do you want to go somewhere?" I asked him.

"Sure, I'll drive you wherever you want to go, Renesmee."

I took his hand and headed for the door. Jacob was leaning against the wall in my living room, and I froze when I saw him. Anger surged through me as we stared at one another in silence. It filled every crevice of my being, pushing away the greif and pain that had predecessed it. It overtook me completely, and then made me do something extremely stupid.

I spun around and grabbed Nahuel's shirt, pulling his body right up against mine. I dropped his hand and grabbed the back of his neck. I pushed my lips to his violently, giving him no choice in the matter.

He did not mind my aggressiveness - he seemed elated. His lips pushed back at mine, kissing me in a way I had never felt before. His arms wove gently around my middle, and his hands caressed my back softly.

I might have enjoyed this, maybe even loved the way it made me feel, if I wasn't consumed with Jacob. He was the only man I could ever see, even now while I was in Nahuel's strong arms.

I knew then that I could have Nahuel, if I chose to. But it would never be a fair decision to involve him in. He really did care about me, and I cared back, but in a different way. I would always love Jacob, I would always see his face when I closed my eyes. If I could not have him, it would only be fair for me to be alone. Forever.

When I pulled away from Nahuel's embrace and looked at Jacob, he looked like he'd just been stabbed through the heart. And I was holding the dagger. Now I had hurt him..... something I never truly wanted to do. No matter how much pain he ever caused me, I still wanted him to be happy.

I ran out into the rain with Nahuel tailing behind me. The tears were already spilling over as we sat down in his car.

"Renesmee," he began slowly.

"I'm so sorry!! I don't know what I was thinking!"

"Don't apologize," he said quickly.

"No, you don't understand - "

"I understand perfectly. I know why you kissed me. If it had only been because you wanted to, you would not have done it right then."

"Then why would you say not to apologize?"

"Because, at least I got to kiss you. It was spectacular!" his eyes were bright with the memory before they calmed. "Nevertheless, you should not leave right now. You love Jacob, and he loves you. You two need to work this out."

"I don't think I can face him right now."

"You can. It's going to be fine. If you can forgive Jacob for what he's said, he can surely forgive you for what just happened."

I turned to look at him. "Where will you go?"

"I'll be back this evening," he said simply.

"Okay..... Bye, Nahuel."

"Goodbye, Renesmee."

I got out of his car and watched him drive away. I felt a strong twinge of regret for letting him go, but he was right. It was Jacob who had my heart, and I needed more than anything to make things right with him.

I stalked back into the house. Jacob was sitting on the floor with his face down. He looked up at me after a moment, and his face was wet with the tears I'd made him cry.

"Jacob, I'm so sorry!!!" I crossed the room to him, but kept a slight distance.

"Don't be," he said weakly. "This is all my fault. If I wasn't so stupid-"

"Don't say that!"

"It's the truth. I never should have said what I did the other day."

I looked at the ground. "You can't help your opinion. I'm not even sure that you're wrong."

"No, Renesmee! How could I ever even think something like that?! You are the most perfect and beautiful thing in this whole world, and I made you feel worthless," he sobbed.

"I am worthless!! I'm a faithless monster!!"

"No, Renesmee!" he said again. "I'm the only monster here. I understand if you would rather be with him. He deserves you more than I do."

"I don't want to be with him!! I don't want to be with anyone but you!"

"I don't deserve your love."

I threw myself into his lap. "Yes you do! You are the only one I could ever love, Jacob. I'm so sorry for what I've done."

"Don't be," he repeated. "If I wasn't such an idiot, you would have woken up in my arms this morning, you would have kissed my lips just now."

"That doesn't make it okay." I was disgusted with my actions.

"Yes it does. I could never be mad at you for something I caused to happen." he looked at me cautiously. "Nessie, I am so so sorry for what I said. I would take it back if I could. I'm so sorry I hurt you."

I looked down again at the reminder of his harsh words. "It's okay. That's just the way you see me."

"I don't see you that way! I never could - you are perfect!!"

"You wouldn't have said it if you'd never thought it."

"I've never thought anything bad about you. There's nothing bad to think of you. I only said that because I was so pissed at Nahuel - but that's no excuse. I told you before that I would never hurt you again, and now I've gone and done it in the worst way possible. I'm so sorry."

What did all of this mean? Did he still love me? Did he not think I was disgusting and vile?

"I'll always love you, Ness, and there is nothing disgusting about you at all. I'm the one who's sickening for making you even think that way about yourself."

"Are you sure that's what you think? I will ask Dad - if you only care about me because of your stupid imprint and don't like me at all, I will find out," I said harshly.

"I wish you could read my thoughts yourself, 'd see that I love you more than anything. I would kill for you - I would die for you. You'd see how flawless you are, and what an idiot I am."

"Will you do something for me, then? If you really do care?"

"Anything."

"I want you to apologize. To Nahuel."

"I will," he sighed. "I was out of line with him."

"I want something else, too." I looked into his eyes. "I want you not to beat yourself up over this. I forgive you for what you said, and now you need to forgive yourself. I want you to just love me, and not feel like you owe me anything."

"Renesmee, if you can forgive me for this, I owe you everything. If you take me back, I'll work the rest of my life to make it up to you."

"All I ask in return for forgiveness is you."

"You've got me, Ness. You've always had me, and you always will. Until the day that you realize how much better you can do, I'll be by your side. And even then, if you come to your senses and find someone better, you will still have my heart."

"There's no one better than you. I will always love you, Jacob Black."

"I will always love you, Renesmee Cullen. Forever."

"I hope so," I sighed. "I need you, Jacob. You're the sun, the air. I can't breathe without you."

He opened his mouth to respond, but I did not allow it. I kissed him softly, pulling my body closer to his. He was hesitant at first, but then his happiness was almost tangible. Heat and electricity surged through me again, and the room filled with the light of Jacob. This kiss felt exactly like the first one we'd ever shared. It was perfect.

"I agree," Jake said huskily, making me giggle.

"Jacob...... I really am sorry about this morning. I promise I'll never do anything just to make you mad like that. Again."

"That's why you kissed him?"

"Yeah. I can be pretty horrible."

"No you can't, Ness. So..... um..... What did you do last night?"

"Jacob - a little faith, please."

"Sorry. None of my business," he said cheerily, but I could see through his facade. This obviously bothered him very bad, he just didn't want to say anything that might make me angry with him since he had just won me back.

"We didn't do anything like that," I assured him. "We just talked, and slept."

"That's... awesome," he said, showing clearly how releived this made him.

"Did you really think I would do that?"

"I don't know.... it was eating me alive though, to think that I drove you away from me and into the arms of someone else. I couldn't stand the thought of anyone else touching you the way that I do....... even if I didn't have a right to be upset about it since it would have been my fault."

"Would you still have me if I had?" I asked the floor boards.

"I would always want you, Ness. Even if you slept with a million men, it would never detract from the way I feel about you. If you'd been with him last night, I'd still get down on my knees and beg you for forgiveness. And I still wouldn't deserve it."

"I could never do that with anyone else. The only person I've ever seen that way is you. If you were gone, I would not look for someone else to fulfill my desires, because no one else could. If I lose you, I lose that feeling altogether."

"You make me the luckiest man alive, Renesmee. But I understand if you don't want to be with me like that anymore, after everything I've put you through." The sadness was evident in his eyes as he said this last part. He was way off par, though - I'd never wanted to be with him more than I did at this moment. I had his love, and I'd never felt happier in my life.

"I do want to be with you like that. Right now."

He looked up at me cautiously. "Are you sure? How can you forgive me so easily? How can you look at me and still feel that way?"

"Easy. I love you. I'd forgive you for anything, and I'll always feel that way about you." I kissed him sweetly as I pulled him to his feet and led him towards my bed room.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter Seventeen - Nightmares**

"Jacob? Where are you??" I called. I was in the forest looking for a way out, and I couldn't find Jake anywhere. It was getting darker, and I wanted to go home.

"JAKE!!!" I yelled louder. I was starting to get really scared.

"Renesmee," he finally answered from right behind me.

"I was worried," I told him as I spun around to give him a hug. His warm arms wrapped around me tightly. When I pulled away, it was not Jacob's arms that were holding me - it was the man I had seen on Thanksgiving.

I turned to run away from him, but his strong hands grabbed my shoulders before I could move.

"You're not going anywhere without me," he said angrily. "Forget about Jacob. You belong to me now."

"No!!!" I screamed. He grabbed me by the hair and began to drag me across the forest floor. I screamed and kicked and clawed at the arm that was dragging me away.

"Renesmee!!" he yelled, only he did not sound like he had a moment ago. He sounded like Jacob. I blinked my eyes and the scene around me changed. The trees surrounding me were gone, replaced by my own familiar walls. Jacob was sitting there beside me examining my expression. I noticed some blood trickling down his arm.

"Are you okay?" We both asked at the same time. He waited patiently for me to go first.

"It was just a dream. What about you? What happened?"

"I'm fine, you just scratched me when I was trying to wake you up."

"I'm sorry!" I said as I sat up to examine the wounds I had inflicted.

"It's nothing, Ness. You claw me all the time, just usually when you're awake." We both laughed. "What were you dreaming about?" he asked more seriously. I put my hand to his face and replayed my nightmare. He was about to say something, but stopped with his mouth open when someone knocked lightly at the door.

"Come in," I told them. Nahuel opened up my door.

"Are you okay? I heard you screaming," he said concernedly.

"I'm fine. It was just a bad dream."

He nodded and turned away, closing the door behind him.

"He's leaving tonight," Jacob told me. He seemed slightly happy about this information. I was not happy about it though; I still felt horrible about yesterday.

"Why so soon?"

"I don't know. You'd have to ask him."

I had a strong feeling it was something to do with me.

"It might," Jake said. I took my hand away from his face. "Sorry, I didn't realize you hadn't actually said anything." That's odd; people can usually always tell what they see from me in their heads and what is going on outside of mine. No one has ever confused one of my thoughts with what was coming out of my mouth.

"It's okay. I should go talk to him, though."

"Alright, but don't forget about school."

I carefully dressed myself in something appropriate, then set off towards the living room.

"Nahuel?" He spun around to face me. "Please don't leave because of me. I really am sorry for what I did to you."

"Don't worry yourself, Rnesmee. I'm not leaving because of you - I came because of you. Hulien needs me at home, and I still have information to hunt down."

"You don't have to do that."

"I want to. I'd like to know for myself, as well."

"Are you sure it's not because of me? I know I've been horrible to you since you got here."

"You have been no such thing. I had a good time with you. You taught me things that all of my years hadn't yet," he said sincerely.

"Like what?" I asked. What could I possibly have taught him?

"Like...... how to love unconditionally. How to be a good friend. And music should always be paired with beautiful metaphors."

"I didn't teach you all of that," I laughed.

"No, you did."

"Will you ever come back?" I asked hopefully. I really did care for him now, and I couldn't imagine never seeing him again.

"If you'd like for me to." He looked doubtful.

"I would! Hopefully next time, things will be a little calmer."

"I'll come when I get the chance, then," he said happily. I gave him a huge hug and he hesitantly wrapped his arms around me at first, but then squeezed me harder.

"Thank you so much for everything, Nahuel. You really are a great friend," I whispered into his ear.

"Thank you too, Renesmee. You are an amazing girl. Jacob is very lucky."

"Will you visit soon?" I asked as we released each other.

"Soon," he promised.

I navigated my way through the groups of teenagers outside to make it to my first class on time, only waving to all the ones who called after me excitedly.

"Hey Ness!! Where were you yesterday?" Brittany asked cheerily as she took her seat in front of me

"I had a house guest," I explained simply; I hated to lie, so I usually just left out a lot of details. I still felt bad, though. Brittany was my only real human friend, and friends should not lie to one another. "How was your break, Brit?"

"It was fine. Boring, mostly," she answered nonchalantly as the bell rang. "Who was your house guest?"

"He was a friend, from South America. He just stayed a few days."

Mr. Smith walked through the door backwards, pulling a large cart with a t.v. and VCR on it. We must be having a movie day; the tension in the classroom ceased completely.

The lights went off and a particularly boring male voice narrated whatever the movie was about. I was completely uninterested; I drew on my notebook and wrote out my favorite song lyrics so I would not fall asleep.

I looked over at the window when class was nearly over, and almost had a heart attack at what I saw. The man from the woods was right there, watching me intently. I blinked my eyes, and he was gone.

I had never hallucinated before, but I must have in that second. My sub-conscience must have made him appear here as I daydreamed and ignored the ridiculous movie. There was just no other explanation - even if he was after me, he would not be watching me here through my classroom window.

I looked outside again, just to make sure. It was foggy and raining, but no one was there. I sighed in releif. I may be going a little bit crazy, but at least I did not have a stalker.

I was jumpy all day, looking over my shoulder constantly. Every class I went to, people tried to talk to me but they could not hold my attention. They didn't seem to mind, though. They were happy enough as usual, just being in my presence. I really liked the effect I seemed to have over people - usually.

"Renesmee, are you okay?" Anthony asked with concern as we sat at lunch. I had decided to give him another chance and speak to him again. He just seemed so sad when I kept ignoring him.

"Sorry, I'm fine....."

"Do you want me to buy you some food? Maybe you'd feel better."

I blanched; You could not pay me to stick one of the sloppy joe's they'd served for lunch into my mouth. The smell alone was enough to make me want to vomit.

Anthony laughed at my expression. "No food, then?"

"No, I'm fine, don't worry about me."

"What are friends for?"

I opened my mouth to tell him he wasn't such a good friend, but stopped myself. He was trying now, and that should count for something.

I was excited when the day finally ended. I wanted to see Jake as usual, but I also wanted to see Nahuel again before he left. I had no idea when I would get to see him again. I hopped into Jacob's waiting car as people waved and yelled goodbye's.

"How was your day?" Jacob asked me as he pulled away from his parking space.

"Fine," I lied. I had already decided to not tell anyone about my hallucinating. They would all either worry or think I was losing it, so it was better to avoid the situation entirely. I'd just have to be careful not to think about it at home.

I flew through my front door expecting to see Nahuel waiting, but the house was empty.

"He left earlier," Jacob told me as he made his way inside. I felt a wave of disappointment.

"Why?"

"He said he already told you goodbye. He asked me to give you this," He said as he handed me a folded up paper. "It doesn't make much sense, the first part anyways."

"You read it?"

"He said I could."

I opened the paper and smoothed the creases. A South American address was written neatly at the top. The rest read as follows:

"When Death sleeps, it dreams of you.

Don't forget me, Renesmee. I will

never forget you. Nahuel"

"Metaphors," I mumbled as I re-read the elegant script.

"What does he mean?" Jacob asked with his eyebrow raised. He seemed a little angry.

"It's a line from one of my favorite songs," I told him and he instantly relaxed.

"Oh. Okay, then."

"What'd you think he meant?"

"I had no idea. I think he wants you to write him."

"Yeah, I will."

I led him to my room and turned on 'Dead Girl' so he would know which song Nahuel was quoting.

"I gotta say, Ness," he began when the song ended. "I really don't understand this stuff. It makes no sense to me." He pointed at my stereo.

"It's not supposed to make sense. What really does?" Nothing makes sense. Words and music make the least sense of all, and yet I understand them better than anything.

We laid around all evening, cuddling and listening to my beautiful metaphors. I was in my Heaven again as I drifted off to sleep.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter Eighteen - Fire**

I had the same nightmare every single night. The only thing that would change was the way the man would kidnap me - it was like every night he became more angry, more violent. Tonight he decided to bash me over the head until I was unconscience before dragging me away as usual. At least he didn't break my legs again.

I woke up then and looked at my clock: it was three fifty one in the morning. At least it was Friday, and I could get more sleep over the weekend. Jacob was snoring loudly so I didn't have to be too quiet not to wake him as I left the room. I made my way to the dining room table and decided to kill my night by writing Nahuel.

I told him a whole lot of nothing - he already knew pretty much everything that was going on here. I ended the short letter with " I miss you already, and I could never forget you. Love, Renesmee P.S. I have some more words for you......"

He would know what I meant. Music was the one thing we could definitely agree on. I flipped the paper over and wrote down the back:

"I wonder have you ever seen the sky  
And felt this weight upon open eyes  
New death sensation  
Flesh flowers dream to bloom  
Illumination  
New death sensation  
We dance the stone death naked by the shore  
I hear her highway song forevermore  
Illumination  
New death sensation  
Empty is this tomb  
Lay this flesh to waste  
Let the pieces fall where they may  
Insects play their sunshine games  
Splashing blood upon my soul  
Crisp black kiss upon my skull  
Lay this flesh to waste  
Let the pieces fall where they may  
Let the worms play their sunshine games  
Splashing blood upon my soul  
Crisp black kiss upon my skull  
Empty is this tomb"

Hope you like it!"

I heard a door opening gently down the hall as I placed a stamp onto the addressed envelope.  
"What are you doin, Ness?" Jacob asked drowsily.  
"I had my nightmare again. I couldn't sleep anymore, so I wrote Nahuel."  
"Again? I'm sorry sweetie. We'll find that guy, I swear," he said in a much clearer voice. He was really worried about me.  
"It's okay," I assured him. "It's just my own head messing with me."  
"Do you want to get out of here this evening? The council is meeting up tonight. They'll have a fire, and both packs will be there."  
This excited me greatly. I had been wanting to spend some time in La Push. "That sounds perfect! But...... can we do something else before?"  
"What?"  
"I want to go swimming." I told him.  
"Uh, Ness..... It's December."  
"So. You'll keep me warm," I said as I wrapped my arms around him. "Besides, I'd rather go when nobody will be on the beach."  
He snorted. "Yeah, because then nobody else will see you in a bikini."  
"Is that a yes?"  
"Sure, Nessie, we can do whatever you want. Now will you come back to bed with me? You don't have to be up for another hour or so."  
"I'll lay with you, but I don't want to go back to sleep."  
"I'll stay up with you," he said as we walked back into my dark bedroom.  
I took my bathing suit in my bag to school so that we could go straight to the beach. I didn't want to be at home - I didn't feel very comfortable there anymore.  
We got to Jacob's house quickly after school ended. It was actually sunny out today, even though it was only about forty degrees. I would be warm, though, even in the water. I would always be warm as long as Jacob was with me.  
We sat around the house for a little while before we headed for the beach. Jacob looked both horrified and very excited when he saw the bikini I had chosen - white and light blue striped with only strings connecting all of the tiny peices of fabric.  
"No one will be there. Just breathe," I joked. He picked me up and walked to the beach, carrying me the entire time. I heard voices as we approached, and Jacob froze after we were halfway down the sand.  
"Oh, crap," he muttered under his breath.  
"What is it?" I asked as I looked around. I stopped when I realized who he'd seen; there was an entire group of boys from school hanging out about thirty feet away, and Anthony was amongst them. Oh crap was right.  
Jacob stood still and seemed to be deliberating over something inside of his head. Probably deciding if he should take me home, or punch Anthony in the face, or do what I wanted and just let it be. He chose to do what I wanted. He placed me gently to my feet.  
"Maybe they won't notice you," he said hopefully. A second later, Anthony's voice said "Hey, is that Renesmee up there?"  
"NESSIE??" A boy named Kevin yelled. So much for them not noticing I was here. I spun around in their direction and yelled, "Yeah?"  
"Whoa," a blonde headed boy named David said. "She looks so hot in that......" He said it low, but Jake and I still heard him. Surprisingly, Anthony came to somewhat of a defense for me.  
"Don't say that," he whispered. "She's alot more than that. She's beautiful."  
I looked up at Jacob's face to try to figure out what to do. His expression was unreadable. "Do you want to just go?" I asked him as the group began to migrate towards us.  
"That's okay. This is what you wanted to do today, and I want you to be happy." He stepped behind me and wrapped his arms around my body. "You should be pretty cold right now," he reminded me. "You might want to shiver a little bit."  
"What are you doing out here today? Aren't you freezing?" Anthony asked as he walked up, pretending like Jake wasn't even here.  
"It's not that bad." I shivered lightly for effect. "I'm going to go swimming."  
His eyes bulged and his mouth popped open. "You can't swim out there today!! You'll get hypothermia!"  
I rolled my eyes at him. "I'll be fine."  
He looked up at Jacob. "You can't let her do that. She could get really sick," he said seriously. Why did he care? I knew I wouldn't get sick- I couldn't even catch a cold.  
"What do you want to do, Renesmee?" Jacob asked me, hugging me up tighter. He was wonderful... I could probably ask him to take me sky diving and he would do it.  
"Let's just go." I smiled up at him hugely. "I know something else fun we can do," I told him excitedly. He laughed as he picked me up and swung me around. I forgot that other people were standing around us until one of them cleared their throats.  
"See you guys later!!" I yelled happily as Jake carried me back towards the house. I heard someone say, "Does he ever let her walk?" and someone answer, "Why would he? I'd never put her down either," but I ignored them. I was going to go have my fun with Jacob.  
"Wake up, Nessie," Jake said softly in my ear. I hadn't even realized I had fallen asleep. I looked out the window and it was getting pretty dark.  
"It's time to go soon. You do still want to go, don't you?" he asked me.  
"Yeah, of course. This should be fun..... are they going to tell us stories?" My eyes grew wide with excitement; I loved the Quileute legends, ever since I was little. They painted pictures of a different world to me, a place where beautiful russet skinned people lived everywhere in the area, surrounded by the wilderness and being able to be what they truly were with no fear of what the rest of the world would do to them. I wished I was from a world like that.  
Jacob chuckled at my giddiness. "Yeah, I'm sure they've got one for us."  
I got up and fixed myself quickly; I must have rolled around alot while I napped, and my hair was sticking out in all directions. Or it might have happened before I went to sleep....  
"Hey, I just realized something," I said.  
"What?"  
"I didn't have a nightmare. Just now, I mean. Maybe I should sleep over here more often."  
Jacob smiled. "You could, if you wanted. I'm sure Billy wouldn't mind."  
"We'll see if this peaceful sleep thing lasts, but if it comes back when I sleep at home, I'll probably do that," I decided. I'd been so tired all week from waking up every night, and if I found a place that I could avoid my night terrors, I was definitely going to take advantage.  
We set off for the top of a high cliff overlooking the ocean, about a three mile walk from Jake's house. We went at a normal human pace, savoring our aloneness as we walked hand in hand through the crisp night air. Jacob carried a blanket for me, even though he knew I wouldn't need it. He was such a gentleman.  
We arrived a bit early to the place everyone met up, so Jacob went ahead and started the fire so no one else would have to worry about it. The blue flames crackled as we cuddled together underneath the moon.  
The wolves began to arrive shortly after we did.  
"Hey, Nessie!" Seth hugged me. Jacob shot him a look of warning, and he ignored it. Seth was like a brother to me, he would never think of me in that way. He had also just imprinted on someone, the girl tagging along behind him that I was about to meet.  
"This is Liz, Ness." I shook her hand politely and we both said hello. She was tall and thin, yet still feminine. Her hair was long and almost white it was so blonde. She had wide blue eyes, one with a streak of brown going straight through it from her pupil to the edge of her iris. She was not what I'd expected, but still very pretty.  
"Hey, Ness!!" Embry called out as he led the rest of the entire group towards where we were. He gave me a hug, too, and then almost all of them swept me up into hugs and hello's. Most of them really did like me, even considered me family. I loved the werewolves; I thought they were truly amazing.  
Paul came up the cliff , carrying Billy's wheel chair up the steep path. "Hey Jake, didn't see ya there," Paul joked as he playfully punched Jacob in the arm. They used to not get along so well, especially when Paul married Rachel, but they were fine now.  
"What are you doing here? Is Rache with you??" Jacob asked, a glint of excitemeny flaring in his eyes.  
"Sorry, it's just me. She had to work," Paul told him sadly.  
Sam and Emily were the last to arrive. "Hey, Em!" I said as I hugged her around her neck.  
"Hey, Nessie, long time no see," she laughed. I loved Emily. There was something about her, how caring and nurturing she was.... she almost acted like a second mother to me, and never held any hostility towards what I was.  
It had been pretty rough for awhile between the werewolves and I. They all knew they could never hurt me because of Jake's imprint, even though I had no idea about that at the time. They had apparently been worried I would try to eat Jacob, or go wild like a newborn and rip their town apart.  
They all trusted me now, though. For the most part, at least. Sam had always kept a good distance, never saying much to me, or not looking me in the face when he did. And Leah practically hated me, although I wasn't sure now ever since our little chat in the woods. Although I highly doubt that conversation could have put me in her good graces, it probably just made her pity me at the time.  
Everyone finished greeting each other and slowly piled around the fire. Billy pulled out a few packs of hot dogs and four bags of marshmallows and everyone started roasting them on the tips of sticks. I ate a few marshmallows - They weren't that bad. Too...... mushy though. Jake burnt the outside of one and I tried it next. The center was liquid goo, and I thought that was much better.  
I leaned against Jacob and waited for things to calm down so that the story would start. He ate about a whole pack of hot dogs in under five minutes.  
I was suddenly very confused - I was not in the same place I had been a moment ago. Somewhere inside of my head, a voice told me that I was dreaming, but it was not loud enough. I looked around at the woods surrounding me and started to wander.  
"Jacob? Where are you??" I yelled through the trees. Where had I been a moment ago?  
"JAKE!!!" I yelled louder, hoping he was close enough to hear me.  
"Renesmee," he said from right behind me.  
"I was worried," I told him as I spun around to give him a hug. His warm arms wrapped around me tightly. When I pulled away, it was not Jacob's arms that were holding me - it was the man I had seen on Thanksgiving, the man from my nightmares.  
I turned to run away from him, but his strong hands grabbed my shoulders before I could move.  
"You're not going anywhere without me," he said angrily. "Forget about Jacob. You belong to me now."  
"No!!!" I screamed.  
"Nessie!!!!!" Jacob screamed close to my ear. "It's alright, sweetie, you just fell asleep...." He cradled me into his chest and rocked me gently. I opened my eyes and looked around...... I was in La Push. Two large packs of werewolves sat around me with wide eyes. I must have screamed out loud.  
Suddenly, the wind shifted in our direction and everyone here that was not completely human jumped up, including me. Could this be another delusion brought on by my dream? I watched the figures around me trembling and I knew the answer was no. He was here, his scent had floated to us in the breeze.  
I inhaled deeply to better perceive the slight differences between his scent and the scents of the others; my werewolves smelled very woodsy, each one with their own subtle twist to it. This wolf smelled woodsy, too, but there were hints of what I thought to be winter weather mingled in. It smelled the way it did outside the day before a big snow.  
"Leah, phase and take Nessie to my house. Don't let her out of your sight for a second," Jacob said anxiously as all the non-werewolves in the area began their way back down the cliff with Brady.  
I looked up at him bewildered. "You're leaving me?" I asked in a small voice.  
He looked at me with pained eyes. "I have to finish this now, Ness. I have to make you safe again." I could only stare as he started with his brothers through the trees.  
"I love you!!!!" he yelled right before he burst into his other form. Two huge hairy arms grabbed me up and started carrying me away as I stared at the spot where Jacob had disappeared.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter Nineteen - Escaped**

I stared silently at Leah-wolf as she paced back and forth across Jake's little living room. Her paws lightly crunched the carpet beneath them, and she could only take two full steps before her nose was in the wall. I wanted to know what the hell was going on out there, but I couldn't ask. The words were stuck inside of me for fear of what the answer might be.  
I felt sick to my stomach - Jacob could be out there getting hurt right now! I knew that if they caught up to him and he decided to fight, Jacob was the one he was most likely to go for. He should have the common sense to know that he couldn't take down all of them, so why wouldn't he try for the one that posed the most threat?  
My body trembled as I thought about Jacob getting hurt in that way. Each second the clock ticked, my hope died a little more. What could be taking so long? I looked up at the tiny digital clock for the millionth time. Twenty five minutes had passed since I'd been here,each second racing and lolling by at the same time. For the first time in my life, I actually felt cold.  
Leah stopped pacing and her hair stood on end. She hunkered down and growled, then quickly straightened back up. Oh no...... please don't let anything have happened! I hope she would at least phase and tell me if anyone got hurt, but I wasn't sure if she would.  
She sat down on the floor and tried to look calm. Or else she actually was calm, but that didn't seem possible. It was hard to be sure - she actually heard what was going on.  
"Leah......."  
She turned her gaze to me. I wanted to make her take me to Jacob to make sure he was okay, but I had no idea how to go about it. If I just asked her to, the answer would surely be no. I needed to appeal to her somehow.  
"Don't you want to be out there with all of them?" I asked trying to hide my hopefulness.  
She shook her head no. Well that obviously didn't work.  
"Is everybody okay?" I asked in a tiny voice.  
She nodded up and down, and I gasped in relief. As long as no one had been hurt, everything would be okay.  
"If everything is okay, can you phase and give me an update?"  
She trotted off to Jacob's room and emerged a few seconds later.  
"Jake's coming," was all she said. She walked back into Jacob's bedroom at the same time he came through the door. I ran to him at warp speed and threw my arms around him as I kissed all over his face.  
"Jacob!!! Are you okay? What's going on?"  
"He escaped," Jake said angrily. "For now."  
"What happened?" I asked as he carried me over and sat me back on the loveseat.  
"He must have been here before, and very recently. Or else he did all this stuff just now before we had a chance to notice him, but that would have been stupid. He left false trails all over the place. Even when each of us would follow a different one we'd end up meeting each other somewhere and it would turn into another trail leading around the whole area. He's been all over the place, and we can't figure out what trail actually leads to him."  
"What do we do?" I asked in a small voice  
"We have to be more careful."  
"More careful? How do we be more careful?"  
"I think you should stay here, Nessie. Until all of this blows over, at least. If you are here and he comes to find you, he'll have sixteen werewolves ready to snap his neck off. If he came to your house, he wouldn't have as many people to go through." He held my shoulders and stared into my eyes with a pained expression.  
"Okay....." I agreed slowly. "But what about my parents? I need to talk to them...... can they come over here? They don't even know anything is going on right now."  
"Go call them, I need to phase for a minute to see what's going on." He turned to walk back outside, but then quickly spun around on the balls of his feet. He put both his hands on my face, one to my cheek and one under my chin, and he pulled me up towards him quickly.  
His lips met mine desperately, like he thought they may never meet again. He set me on my feet and wrapped his long arms around my waist, squeezing my sides gently with his hands. One arm slid up my back until it reached my neck, and his warm lips moved even harder against mine.  
"I love you...." he breathed before flying out the door. I knew what he was thinking, and I was not ever going to let such a thing happen. If he went off to fight this guy, I was going to be there to make sure he came back to me. That would _not_ be the last kiss Jacob and I ever got to share.  
I went to the kitchen and dialed my dad's cell phone number. It rang once.  
"Renesmee?"  
"Dad, I need you and Mom to come here right now." I heard a car starting.  
"What's going on?" he asked seriously.  
"That guy was here in La Push a little while ago. They're all out looking for him now. Jacob said he left false trails leading them around in circles over and over, and they can't find him yet," I said in one breath.  
There was a short pause on the line. "We'll be there in two minutes." I counted out one hundred and twenty seconds, then heard his car pulling up outside.  
"Oh, Renesmee!" My mom said as she flew through the door and threw her arms around me.  
"I'm okay, Mom," I said as I hugged her back. "I'm just worried about everyone else."  
"They're fine, just on high alert," Dad said. How handy his power was, especially in a crisis.  
"Jacob wants me to stay here until this is over with," I told them as I stared at the ground. "He thinks it'd be safer since I'd have a lot more protection."  
I looked up at my dad who seemed to be thinking it over. It also made sense to have my mom and dad stay around me, too, I suddenly thought. My dad would hear his thoughts if he came close enough, and my mom could protect all of us from physical harm.  
"So smart, Renesmee. How will we do it though?" Dad said in response to my epiphany.  
"Hmmm..... you guys wouldn't need to be here all the time, probably just close at night......."  
"That's pretty simple when you never have to sleep," Mom said.  
"Looks like we're going to be spending our nights in the woods, love," Dad said to Mom. She nodded to herself in agreeance.  
The living room door opened and shut, and Jacob came running in.  
"Still nothing," he said worriedly.  
"Jacob, Renesmee thought it would be a good idea if we stay here at night while all of this is going on. Out in the woods, I mean," Dad said to Jacob.  
"Yeah...... you'd hear his thoughts if he was coming close." Jacob furrowed his eyebrows in thought.  
"You stay here with her tonight, Bella and I can run perimeter all night while the rest take shifts," Dad answered Jake's mind.  
"Perfect." He smiled slightly, but it did not touch his eyes.  
"Don't worry about that. If we catch him, I'll leave what's left of him for you to finish off," Dad said, smiling slightly at Jacob. His smile turned to a frown as Jake looked down at the floor.  
"Have a little faith, Jacob. In us and her. He won't get close enough for either of those things to happen," Dad told him gently. "I wouldn't allow you to do that...."  
What was he talking about? He wouldn't get close enough for what all to happen? Dad wouldn't allow Jake to do what? I looked at Dad expecting an answer, but he ignored my questions.  
_That's very rude, you know,_ I told him mentally.  
"You already know. You've already discussed it," he told me.  
I looked over at Jacob. "I would never leave you for him. I could never love him - I absolutely hate him!" My words rang true, because they were. I did hate this mystery person that would not leave me alone. He stalked me every night in my dreams, and now he was doing it for real. My mind flashed back to the day I thought I saw him at school.  
"What was that?" Dad eyeballed me, pulling the memory out of my brain.  
"I just imagined it, it wasn't real," I told him.  
"Can you be sure? He looks real enough to me."  
"I know he looked real, but it was just a split second. The room was dark, I was daydreaming, and I'd had nightmares with him as the star the night before. I'm pretty sure I just imagined it," I explained, trying to convince the both of us.  
"What?" Mom and Jake both asked.  
"Renesmee might have seen this...... thing at school about a week ago," he explained quickly. "Tuesday?" he verified my thoughts. "That was just days ago....."  
Jacob took a step towards me from behind and locked his arms around me protectively.  
"So do I. I'm sure that's how it will end," Dad said offhandedly. I looked up and saw Jacob nodding at him, his jaw locked tight.  
"Bella, we should go now and run the perimeter. Renesmee looks like she could use some sleep," my father pointed out and I realized Jake was supporting my entire body weight. He placed one arm behind my neck and the other behind my knees to pick me up gently.  
"I'll phase every half hour to find out what's going on. If I miss anything, send Leah to get me. She's the fastest, and she can stay here with Nessie if I have to leave. You should come here too, Bella. You can protect her," Jacob said glumly.  
I swung lightly in his arms as he loped into his bedroom. He laid me down easily and ripped open a drawer on his dresser. He handed me another pair of giant sweats, only these ones were navy blue.  
"Here, you can sleep in these. They should be alot more comfortable," he said pointing to the strings hanging out of the back of my shirt. I had never gone swimming, so I had kept my bikini on under my clothes. I pulled my clothes off lazily and slid into the warm sweats, laying down the whole time.  
"So I guess you're not sleeping tonight?" I asked Jacob as my lids drooped.  
"No - I need to be ready if something happens," He sat down on the wall side of the bed. I scooted over to him and put my arms around his waist as he stroked my cheek softly.  
"Love you, Jake. More than you'll ever know......"  
"Love you too, Renesmee. More than _you'll _ever know."  
That was the last thing I heard that night. Despite everything else that was going on, I fell asleep a very happy girl.


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter Twenty - World**

"She didn't have any nightmares, at least," Jacob's husky voice said. He was right - I hadn't dreamt at all last night. "You guys can go home for now. I doubt he'd come here in the daytime."  
"Renesmee's awake," Dad told him. "We'll be back tonight to check on things. You should get some rest."  
"I can't right now......" Jacob said sadly.  
"Some faith, Jacob, please," Dad murmered to whatever thoughts Jacob was having right now. "No one will let anything happen to her."  
I wished he would listen. Jacob was worrying himself to death for no reason. I got out of the bed and walked towards their voices.  
"Good morning, sweetheart," Mom smiled. "We're going to be going to the house for a little while, but we'll be back later tonight; do you need anything from home?"  
"Will you bring me some clothes? And my mp3 player?" I asked sleepily. Jacob had no good music here, and it was making me crazy.  
Dad laughed at my thought. "We'll bring them."  
"We love you," Mom said as she pulled me into a hug.  
"Love you, too," I kissed her on the cheek. "I'll see you guys later."  
Dad swooped forward and grabbed me up into a bone crushing hug. He must be more worried than he was letting on......  
"No, it's not that," he reassured me. "Love you, darling."  
"I love you too, Dad. Don't worry, I'm safe here," I told him anyways. He may be the one who can read thoughts, but I knew him too well for him to always hide his from me. My parents went outside and I heard their car start as Jacob swept me up into his arms.  
"Love you, Nessie," He said as he nuzzled his face into my hair and deeply inhaled. He sounded a lot happier than I'd expected.  
"Love you, Jacob. Soooooooo much," I crooned, making him chuckle. "So what's the plan for today?" I asked him.  
He opened up his mouth to answer, but stopped as the little phone in the kitchen began to ring. He walked to it still carrying me, and picked up the little receiver. "Hello?" he answered.  
"Someone's been here," Dad said hurriedly on the other line. Jacob's face went pale green underneath the beautiful russet tone. "It was him, he was in her room. He took some things........"  
Jacob looked like he wanted to answer and just could not. I held my hand out for the phone and he handed it to me.  
"What did he take?" I asked my father.  
"Your photo album, the letter you wrote to Nahuel...." he went silent for a moment. "Your mother says one of your pajama sets are gone, too. We can't be sure of what else."  
I thought for a moment. "Do you think he came here last night to get you guys out of the house?"  
"I hadn't considered that......" he trailed off. "It's definitely a possibility," he finally answered.  
"What should we do? I think you guys should stay there for awhile so he won't come back......" I answered part of my own question.  
"Yes, but we'll be back tonight. I'll call Alice and see if she would mind to house sit while we're gone."  
"Why would he take my pajamas??" I thought hard on this one..... he could have taken any peice of my clothing, or all of them if that's what he'd come for.  
"Your mother has a theory. She said she saw you in the missing ones the night that you were mad at Jacob..... he may have taken them because Jacob's scent wasn't on them."  
Jacob smashed his fist into the kitchen counter, leaving a large hole going through to the bottom of it. He set me slowly to my feet and walked out the front door.  
"I have to go, Dad. Tell me if you figure out anything."  
"Goodbye, darling. We love you."  
"Bye. Love you guys too." I hung up the phone and went to find Jacob. I heard a loud crash that sounded like a tree being hit with something huge. I found Jake out back, holding an entire tree trunk. He hurled it at another one and it cracked like lightning. His expression almost scared me, and I was never scared of Jacob. His heavy brows were so close together, there seemed to be no skin seperating them, and his jaw was twisted angrily.  
"Jake.....?" I spoke quietly. He spun around to see me, and his expression softened immediately.  
"Sorry, Ness......" His brows drew themselves back together. "I need to find that guy.... I have to kill him."  
"No, you don't," I told him, although I wasn't sure that I was right. "You _need_ to come inside and calm down. Billy's not going to be too happy when he sees that giant hole in his table....."  
"Who cares? I have bigger problems than broken furniture." He slowly followed me back into the house. "Why the hell would he take that stuff?" he asked me very seriously.  
"I don't know..... he probably took my photo album because it's filled with pictures of me......." I trailed off because I could feel the anger emanating off of Jacob.  
"He's probably looking at you right now!" he yelled. He curled up into a ball on the floor like he'd just been punched in the stomach.  
"Jake?? Are you okay?" I dropped to my knees and tried to uncurl his body, but he wouldn't unlock his arms from around his legs.  
"No. I'm not," he said in a deadened voice. He was really starting to scare me now. I had never seen Jacob get even close to this upset about anything in my life. How would he react if something actually did happen to me?  
I pushed that thought aside - I did not want to know the answer to it. I did not intend on finding out either.  
"Come on, Jacob. It's going to be okay," I dropped to my knees above him and rubbed his back.  
"No. It's not," he said in that same voice.  
"Jacob Black, I am here right now. You are here right now. Nothing has happened yet, and it's not going to help if you just lay here in the floor all day."  
He raised himself up slowly, and I got to my feet as well. I wrapped my arms around him and he hugged me back, but only half-heartedly. I pulled back and looked up at his face. His features drooped in sadness.  
"Will you tell me what exactly is bothering you so bad at this moment? Please?" There was obviously more on his mind than what he was letting me know. When he didn't answer me immediately, I put my hand under his chin to make him look at me and sent him another _Please?_  
"I'm so unlucky in love....." he said slowly and quietly. I let his face drop, and then I slapped him in it.  
"Ow!" he yelled as he jumped backwards and rubbed his cheek.  
"Don't you ever compare me to my mother Jacob!!!!!" I screamed in his face. "You and I and her and you are two completely different things!!!!"  
"Sorry, Ness!!!! You didn't have to hit me though!"  
"You deserved it for even thinking that!" I glared at him. He really did look sorry though, so I eventually softened my expression.  
"You're right about our relationship being completely different, but you are alot like your mom. She's the only other girl whose ever hit me in the face," he joked.  
"Yeah, but I bet hers didn't hurt as much," I gloated. Jacob had a slightly pink handprint on his left cheek that was quickly fading away. "Sorry for slapping you," I tried to say seriously, but I couldn't stop giggling. He couldn't help but beam his sunshine smile.  
Jacob started tickling me and I ran from him. He chased me through the kitchen and out of the back door to the garage before he could catch me. He pinned me against his car as I squealed and giggled at his tickling me.  
"You better stop!" I said playfully.  
"What are you going to do??" he joked back as his fingers slightly dug into my ribs and waist. "You really think you could take me? That slap didn't hurt that bad," he teased.  
I pushed him back quickly and he fell to the floor on his back with me on top of him. I tickled his sides and blew a raspberry on his stomach. We rolled around playfighting for a few minutes before we started kissing eachother.  
His lips met mine roughly as he rolled over top of me. I pulled his shirt quickly over his head and wrapped my arms around his body, easing myself off the ground. He sat up on his knees, pulling me with him as he slid my sweatshirt off. His lips moved swiftly down my neck as he wrapped his hands around my bare back, pushing his body tightly against mine. Every time his lips touched my skin, the blood boiled beneath them, leaving my entire insides on fire.  
My fingers wove into the roots of his hair as I brought his face back to mine eagerly. His warm lips molded to mine again as his hands formed an iron cage all the way around my waist. His hands left blazing hot trails down my hips as they slid beneath my gigantic sweatpants, allowing them to fall around my knees. He dragged me towards him even more by my bottom until my body was molded completely to his form.  
He ripped the sweatpants off of my feet, then moved his arms up quickly and wrapped his fingers around the backs of both of my knees, pulling my legs up to wrap around his waist. I sub-consciously dug my nails into the skin of his back, making him throw back his head in agony and pleasure.  
He gently bit my lip as he laid me down on my back, and I tugged at the bottoms of the legs of his shorts.  
"Jacob!!" a voice called loudly from a good distance. We both stopped and stayed still as statues. "We need you!! Bring Nessie so she's not alone!!!" It sounded like Quil.  
"Dammit!!" I yelled loudly. I had to leave this perfect moment now to go hear about this horrible guy that was obsessing over me. My day was quickly turning to crap. Jacob laughed at my attitude as he slid back into his shorts, leaving his shirt lying on the ground. I pulled his sweats back on and we made our way to the nearby woods.  
"What's going on?" Jacob asked Quil in a serious, business-like tone.  
He handed Jacob an envelope with my name written in large black letters on the outside of it. "Seth was running home from Liz's house when he caught the guy's scent really strong, and he followed it to this. He had left more endless trails going in circles, so Seth couldn't find him."  
"How did he know it would be found.....?" Jacob said more to himself than anyone as he rolled the envelope over in his big hands. I was too stunned to say anything - what was it? A letter for me? What could he possibly have to say to me??  
Jacob looked at me questioningly for a long moment. "Do you want to open it?" he asked eventually.  
I held out my hands for the envelope. He dropped it into them and I ripped the top of it open to withdraw the contents. I unfolded the peice of paper and read it twice slowly:  
"Renesmee,  
So beautiful...... I do hope to meet you soon. You are my world now."

The paper slipped from my fingers and fell to the forest floor with a light rustling sound. I stood frozen, staring at where the paper had been. A chill of ice rolled along my spine as I remembered Jacob's words to me in the woods many months ago, "_I am in love with you. You are my world...."_  
Jacob leaned down and picked up the note. His brows furrowed together in frustration as he read it over and over. He crumpled it up and threw it as hard as he could. I could hear the dull thud of it's landing far in the distance.  
"COME OUT, COWARD!!!" he screamed into the wind. "YOU WANNA MEET HER, YOU'VE GOT TO GET THROUGH ALL OF US FIRST!!! COME OUT AND LET ME KILL YOU NOW!!!!!"  
"What did it say?" Quil asked Jacob. Jake looked like he was ready to attack something and could not speak at the moment, so Quil turned his gaze to me.  
"It said he hoped to meet me soon. And that I'm his world now," I said quickly. The three of us looked over to the right as we heard someone coming upon us - alot of someone's, actually. Jacob clenched his fists up tightly but then relaxed slightly as the scent of some of his and Sam's pack members came to us in the breeze.  
Jake ripped his shorts down and threw them to me while Quil hid behind a tree. They both phased in less than a second, and then eight wolves loped out of the cover of the wilderness to stop in front of us. I recognized each of them: Seth, Leah, Sam, Paul, Jarrod, Embry, Colin, and Brady.  
I sat down where I was and let them have their silent discussion. Jacob kept pacing and growling, and the others looked angry as well. Leah kept nodding her head back and forth, but at what I would never know. Sam was the only one that stayed still and looked completely calm.  
I laid my head down in the dirt as I waited for them to finish. I felt sick to my stomach, something that usually only happened when I forced down disgusting human food. The note had said he hoped to meet me soon..... How would he manage that? He'd already been here, and to my house, so he knew how many protectors I had surrounding me at all times. He must be planning something.... But what? How did he expect to get close to me?  
I searched my brain for a reasonable explanation, for any hole in my defenses. I found none; maybe he was crazy. Or really stupid, although his ability to keep thwarting everyone after him made that proposition seem illogical. He was obviously extremely sneaky. Could he be any different from the werewolves I'd always known about? Of course it was possible - anything is possible when you live in a world like mine.  
What could be different about him that would allow him to get around everyone standing between him and me? How did he always seem to disappear right before he was caught? Even by my dad, who could see right into his mind...... he'd said his mind was filled with me that first day, but that should not have mattered. Dad and Mom should have been able to find him just by following his scent; he hadn't led them in circles that time, but they still somehow lost him......  
"Where's the rest of his pack?" The last question came out of my mouth as it entered my brain. Everyone stopped moving and looked at me as I looked at all of them. My eyes stopped on Jacob. "He has to have a pack, doesn't he?"  
Jacob blinked and cocked his head to the side. His eyes shifted to Sam for a long time before he looked back at me. I held his gaze longingly for the next twenty minutes. I laid back down in the dirt and bracken to let them finish.  
My life was becoming so tumultuous lately. There were so many parts that were wonderful and new, but there were terrible things to be dealt with at the same time. Every day was a mixup of passion and fury, of love and hate......I didn't know how much longer I could take it.  
I heard the wolves leaving in all different directions but didn't feel like moving yet. Jacob picked his shorts up off of me with his human arms and put them back on, then picked me up gently. He picked the leaves and debris from my hair before setting off with me in his arms. Neither one of us said a word.


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter Tweny One - Protector**

"Bleedin' on your highway, baby!!!!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. "Harvest is a comin in the season of dying!!!" I was attempting to get completely lost in some music, but my mind would not let me forget today. Oops, there I go thinking about it again.  
"I trace the skull in your face and remember - I kissed a girl with thirteen fingers, kissed a girl with thirteen fingers......" I screamed even louder. Jacob just sat staring at me while I sang, probably wondering what the hell was wrong with me. Singing was my best distraction from life.  
"I trace the skull in your face.... and remember..... I kissed a dark eyed girl..... with thirteen fingers," I sang slower. It was too slow - I needed something hard enough to bust out my ear drums. Slow songs would be the death of me today. Kashmir was randomly selected on my mp3, and I quickly changed it.

"What color is death? The shade of an ice pick sinking into flesh...." I sang along again. "Close my eyes and dream of death, Slip away and take a breath, Rivers running dark and cool, How can nothingness be cruel?" I belted out every word. My earphones suddenly popped out of my head and I was back in the real world. "What'd you do that for?" I asked Jacob angrily as he turned off my mp3.  
"I don't like all that screaming about death stuff, Ness."  
"It's a song, and it's the best distraction I can think of. Well....." A mischevious smile spread across my face, "Second best distraction I can think of."  
Jake chuckled at me. "You're such a horn dog Nessie. Some psycho is after you, and all you can think about is getting it on."  
"I'm sorry," I said, hanging my head with mock sadness. He was right; that was all I could think about now. Jacob filled every single part of my brain, pushing worry and anger aside. Why concentrate on the bad parts of life when the very best part was sitting right in front of me?  
Jacob took my hand and I sent him my last thought. "Me? The best part? Nahh," he joked. "I'm not so great. Now you, on the other hand...."  
I sent him pictures of what we were doing this morning before we got interrupted. Then I sent him some pictures of other nights when we had not been interrupted.  
"You know, your parents are out there somewhere. Your dad is probably listening to all of that......" he said with his eyes closed. I ripped my hand out of his.  
"Fine. Have it your way. I'm going to take a shower," I told him. He looked sad at my mood swing, but I wasn't through yet. I pulled myself out of his large sweats that I'd worn all day and threw them onto his face. They slid off slowly and his eyes couldn't help but run across my body multiple times. He cocked an eyebrow at me.  
"What?" I asked innocently. He'd never be able to completely resist me, not when all I wanted was something he loved to do as well. He didn't say anything and just kept staring, so I walked over to the bag of clothes my parents had brought for me earlier this evening. I grabbed some velvety blue shorts and a tiny pink Tinkerbell tank top.  
"I could use a shower too......" Jacob said with a tiny hint of menace in his voice. He may be a werewolf with some big problems to take care of, but he was still a man. He couldn't deny his hormones when I made it so difficult for him, and I knew that.  
We stayed in our lukewarm shower for much longer than was necessary before we moved it back to the bed room. I kept my hand to his face as we writhed in ecstasy all night, making it all but impossible to take his mind to any place that was not me.

My eyes saw the sunlight of morning breaking through the clouds, but my mind did not acknowledge it. I needed to be in the place where I was, to have nothing but Jacob inside of me.  
Too soon, he pulled his body away from mine and laid down beside me as we both gasped for air. The rest of life came flooding back into my brain at the same second, but I felt no tension for it. I forced myself to concentrate only on Jacob, only on the way he made me feel.  
"Wow," he said after about ten minutes. He looked over at his little window. "It's day time already."  
I rolled over on my side and wrapped my arm across his torso. I should be tired from not sleeping all night, but I felt more alive than I ever had. I made a mental note to spend more nights exactly like this one.

"Are you going to school today, Ness?" Jacob asked. I groaned at the reminder; school was just so unnecessary. I pulled myself up slowly.

"Yeah, might as well," I said as I stretched out my body. I stood up and looked at my bag, then back at Jacob's perfect nude body laying across his bed with his long legs hanging off. My head whipped back and forth a few times as I attempted to concentrate on getting dressed. Jacob laughed lightly at me.

"I'll be there today," he told me. Why would he be at school with me? "Not actually there like with you all day, but I'll be watching from the woods," he added, answering my question.  
I smiled hugely. "My protector," I said quietly to myself. He smiled back in response, making me groan again.

His expression shifted to worry. "What?"  
"You make it extremely hard to leave you. I'll never go back to school if we keep this up."

He chuckled. "That's the plan," he joked. "I'll just keep you here every day and let you have your way with me."  
I joined in on his laughter before picking out my clothes for the day. My stomach rumbled angrily, reminding me that I had not hunted since Thanksgiving.  
"I'll make you some eggs," Jacob said as he got to his feet and pulled some shorts on. "How many do you want?"

"A lot. I'm _starving_," I told him as my stomach growled again. I got ready in his room, dressing and smoothing out my hair before setting off for the bathroom to brush my teeth. I looked at my reflection in the mirror - the girl staring back was me, but slightly different. Her cheeks were pinker, her skin was more dewy, and her eyes seemed wider. Brittany was going to have a lot of fun with me today.

"Do I look different to you?" I asked Jacob as I sat down at his table in front of my plateful of eggs. He kissed me lightly on the top of my head.  
"You look beautiful, as always," he answered. Maybe it was something only a girl would notice. I hoped that it was at least something only a girl would recognize; I did not need boys commenting on my sex life at school.

We ran to school through the cover of the forest. Jacob couldn't drive me if he was going to stay, and he said he'd rather have his sense of smell on the way there so he would know if he needed to take me back home.  
"I love you," he said as he hugged me goodbye. "I'll be here waiting when you're ready to leave."

I kissed him quickly and told him I loved him too before I walked at a normal pace towards my Government class. Most of the seats were already filled as I strode through the door.

"Wow," someone whispered as I made my way to my desk. "Look at Nessie....." the boy said to another boy in a voice he thought I couldn't hear.

"She looks different......" the second boy answered. "Too bad she dates that older guy. He kind of freaks me out....."

I blocked them out as they went on to talk about me and Jacob. I hated having to pretend I heard none of it, but saying something to them would give me away. A normal human would not have heard a word of their conversation from this distance.

"Hey, Ness!" Brittany said excitedly as she spun around in her chair and looked me over. "Whoa..... looks like you had a good night..." she trailed off suggestively. I felt my cheeks burning red at her words. Some people sitting around us turned to look at me too, having heard her. I ignored them.

"Best night ever," I smiled. Brittany laughed at my straight-forwardness. "I didn't sleep a wink," I laughed with her. A

few people paying attention snickered at our exchange. Let people think what they would - at least now everyone knew not to bother trying to get me from Jacob.

Anthony was waiting outside the door for me when my class ended.

"Hey, Renesmee," he said without looking at me. His cheeks flushed pink, reminding me of the last time I had seen him. No wonder he was embarassed right now; he had seen for himself how close I was with Jake. He finally lifted his head up and looked me over. "Wow, you look great today!" he exclaimed as his cheeks flushed again.

I giggled at his outburst. "Yeah, I've been getting that alot this morning." I heard a low growl coming from the trees so far away. Jacob was probably trying very very hard right now to control himself.

Anthony took a deep breath as if he was readying himself for something. "Are you going to the dance right before Christmas break?" he asked all in the same breath. His question caught me off-guard; I hadn't noticed anything telling me about this dance. The growling from the forest got slightly louder.

"Probably not. I hate dancing...." I quickly amended before an unexplained giant wolf decided to blow his cover.

"Oh," he said, looking at the ground again. He walked me to second period in silence, and said nothing else to me for the rest of the day. Every classroom I walked into, people stared at me with a look of wonder and whispered about my appearance amongst eachother. The only thing that confused me was why everyone noticed today when they had never noticed anything before. Except for Brittany, of course. She saw straight through me.


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter Twenty Two - Wrong**

I was in a room with white walls and a bright light shining into my eyes. The room looked slightly familiar, but I couldn't place it....  
"Here, Renesmee," Mom said from above me. She handed me a baby, one with beautiful russet colored skin and round, dark brown eyes. My eyes.  
"What's going on?" I asked in confusion. What I really wanted to say was 'whose baby is this?'.

"He needs a name, darling," she said in her sing song voice.

"Why are you telling me??"

"Renesmee?" a familiar husky voice said.

"Yeah?"

"Nessie, wake up."

"Huh?"

"Wake up, sweetie," Jacob said as I opened my eyes up to his room. I was speechless for a long moment. "Were you having another nightmare??" he asked almost angrily.

"Noo....... it wasn't a nightmare," I told him hesitantly. I did not want him to see that dream.

"Will you show me??" he smiled eagerly. Oh crap. I placed my hand to his face and showed him a different dream that I remembered instead, being careful to hide my deception.

"I like that one," he said when it was over. "What do you want for breakfast?" he asked as my stomach growled impatiently.

"I'll make you breakfast today. I'm getting much better at this cooking thing," I told him as I stood up and picked through my bag of clothes. I found some jeans, a light blue tank top and a black sweater and threw them on.

"You look beautiful today," Jacob said.

"I've been getting that alot lately....." Did I actually look any different? I walked down to the bathroom and looked at my face in the mirror. I did look different somehow...... there was something subtle that I just could not place. I quickly brushed my hair and teeth and splashed hot water on my face.

I went to the kitchen and started sniffing around, trying to find something appealing. My nose stopped me in front of a cabinet on some sort of flour type smell, and I pulled the door open. Pancakes? That's weird. I sniffed the box closely...... yep, that's what I wanted.

I read the directions on the box as Jacob walked into the kitchen.

"Pancakes, Ness? I thought you didn't like that type of stuff," he asked me.

"The nose chose it," I winked. He froze and then blinked his eyes as if he were dazed. "Are you okay?" I asked him seriously.

"You did something to me....." he said almost drowsily. "You dazzled me or something....."

"What? I can't do that to you. I can't even completely do it at all, but humans are so easy." I said as I mixed the pancake batter until it was smooth. Jacob heated up a griddle and helped me make all of them. I ate five.

"You've been so hungry lately," Jacob pointed out. "You seem to be getting really used to regular food."

"Yeah, I can't really hunt right now anyways," I said. I didn't even want to hunt though - I wanted regular food. Some of it, at least.

We raced eachother to the school playfully. Jacob let me stay in the lead right up until the end where he shot past me like a rocket, so I tackled his furry butt to the ground. I had to be very careful not to ruin my outfit, though. We kissed goodbye and I headed off for another horrible day at Forks' High School.

I walked into a half-full Government and was greeted by people staring at me. It felt like my first day all over again for a few moments.

"Hey, Renesmee," a boy named Cody said to me.

"Um, hey," I smiled shyly. He looked like he'd just stared at the sun for too long...... What was going on today?

"Hey!!" Brittany squealed from her seat. I walked over and quickly sat down. I felt so self- conscience today.

"Hey Brit! How's it going?" I asked her. Her smile faded and her eyes went slightly blank.

"What were we talking about?" she asked me.

"Umm..... I asked how it was going...?" I was starting to get very confused.

"You look beautiful today, Renesmee," she said casually.

"Thanks??" She spun back around as the bell rang.

All day long, people stared at me like I was...... I don't even know how to explain it. Like they were moths and I was a flame maybe. People that had never spoken to me before would randomly say hello or ask me how I was doing or something. It was totally creeping me out.

I walked into the lunchroom with a swarm of people all packed tightly around me. I quickly bought myself a brownie and sat down at my usual spot.

"Hey, Renesmee!" Anthony said excitedly. So predictable.

"Hey," I smiled. He got the same blank expression Brittany had had earlier for a moment. Then he blinked hard and raised his eyebrows slowly. He smiled down at me.

"Can I ask you a question?" he asked, still slightly dazed looking.

"I guess so," I hesitated. He could ask, but that didn't mean I would answer.

"Why do you love Jacob?"

"What kind of a question is that??" A weird one, that's what kind it was.

"I'm just curious. You're all about him, and he seems so.... Over bearing." he said smugly.

"He's not over bearing. He's very...... protective. And I love him because...... it's so hard to explain....... he's like the sunshine to me. He's like the air, or music, or all those things combined." I tried to answer as best as I could.

"But how do you know that he's the only person that could be all of those things for you? Have you ever been in love with anybody else?" he asked seriously, pulling his face closer to mine and looking straight into my eyes. I looked down from his gaze and noticed his hands were holding my shoulders.

"I know what I want. Don't we all? I don't need to be in love with anybody else to know that I am meant for Jacob."

"I know what I want too, Renesmee," he whispered as his fingers dug lightly into my skin. I quickly took his hands off of my shoulders and placed them neatly in his lap. I didn't need another kissing fiasco on my hands.

"Sometimes people don't get what they want. They always find something else at some point that they want just as much, though," I said softly. I did not want to hurt his feelings, but I needed him to lay off. He could not be with me the way he wanted, and he just had to accept that and go find some other girl.

One of his hands left the place where I'd sat it down. He lifted it up and stroked the length of my cheekbone with his fingertips. He sighed heavily, then turned away and stared at the wall.

Anthony seemed to avoid looking at me in class after that. I was trying to avoid everyone else's stares, so I stayed as quiet as possible. He was waiting on me after gym let out, and I walked extremely slow so that everyone would leave before I had to go back and meet Jacob in the were almost to the parking lot when Anthony spun around to face me. His eyes were burning with some unknown desire as he grabbed my shoulders once again. I was stunned momentarily as his eyes smoldered into mine.

"Renesmee....." he whispered so softly he probably thought I didn't even hear him. "I think I'm in love with you......."

"Anthony.... you are not in love with me. You barely know me," I said almost sternly. "You're just infatuated with me." I removed his hands from my shoulders but they quickly wrapped around my waist.

"No, no, it's so much more than that. You're all I can ever think about anymore...." he said very slowly. He leaned forward towards my face. No, not this again!

I pushed lightly against his chest to keep his mouth from connecting to mine, then took a step back. "Stop it, Anthony. I do not love you! I love Jacob!" I half yelled. A few people still left in the parking lot stopped to stare at us. Anthony did not seem to notice.

"Renesmee, I _need_ you. I could be better than him, I would give you anything you wanted in the world. I'd find a way if you were mine....."

"You are WRONG!!! No one could be better than him! He is perfect! He's my soulmate!" I yelled loudly. I was so sick of everyone saying that Jacob was not good enough for me. "You don't know anything about me! You don't know anything about my relationship!!" I stormed off back towards the school just a little bit too quickly and disappeared through the trees. I took off from there, searching out where Jacob was waiting for me. He was his human self, and he looked extremely angry and a bit sad in a way.

He paced in front of me, muttering profanities and shaking his head in frustration. I waited for him to calm down before I said anything.

"Are you okay?" He asked me, his onyx eyes gleaming with real concern.

I giggled at him. "Of course I am. I'm way stronger than he is." Jacob's expression went blank. "What the hell is that??!!" I finally boiled over. Why did everyone keep looking at me so strangely??

He smiled at me blissfully. "What were we talking about?" he asked serenely.

"I am seriously confused...." I mumbled back. Something very odd was going on.

Jacob took two long steps towards me and crushed his lips against mine. My hands went straight around his back, one of them winding it's fingers into his short hair as his arms pulled my body tightly against his. His lips were eager as they circled all around my face and neck before landing back to my lips. I noticed that someone was approaching quickly, but waited a moment to look up.

I moved my face away from Jacob's to see who was here..... the wind blew Anthony's scent to me as Jacob placed his lips to the skin of my throat again and again.

"Renesmee....?" he asked from too far a distance to have seen us standing here yet.

"Go.... away....." Jake muttered into the hollow of my throat. Anthony took a few more steps towards us. I tried to pry myself free from Jacob so that I could get him to leave, but Jake locked his arms around me and would not release.

He turned his head slightly towards Anthony's direction. "Go away," he said barely loud enough for him to even have heard. Jacob turned his head back and quickly continued his kissing me.

"Renesmee? Was that you?" Anthony asked taking a few more steps. I tried again to pry Jacob off of me, still to no avail.

"Jake..... let me go," I said, pushing at his chest once more.

"Hmmm....?" was all he said in return. His lips met mine again, almost desperately yet slowly and sweetly. He was acting really weird.....

"There you! Are?" was how Anthony's greeting came out. I pulled my face away from Jacob's to look at Anthony's confused one. Jacob nuzzled his face into my neck again and inhaled deeply a few times before he began kissing it some more.

He pulled his face away from me for a moment. He glared harshly at Anthony. "Go away. We're busy," he said before turning back to me and inhaling again, straight along my jawline. I felt way too confused to say anything to either of them..... this day had turned out to be the strangest one I'd ever lived. As far as I could remember, at least.

Anthony turned around slowly and walked back out the way he'd came. He was probably about as baffled as I was right now. I realized too late that maybe Jacob should have hidden while I told him I was fine and he could leave.

"Let's go home," I said to Jacob. He finally released me and handed me his shorts quickly. I admired his beauty before his wolf form burst forth from his skin. He lowered himself down to the ground like he wanted me to climb aboard.

"You want me to ride on your back?" I asked speculatively. He nodded twice and lowered his head down once more. I lifted myself on top of him and secured my hands around large chunks of his fur. He flew off like a rocket, so fast that I had to lean my body down against him like I was riding a motorcycle.

We were just outside of La Push in only four minutes or so. Jacob streaked across the highway when it was clear and ran us straight into his house. I flopped off of him and onto the couch as he phased back.

I threw his shorts to him, but he threw them across the room. He picked me up and carried me off to the bed room. I was still completely thrown off by his behavior..... not that I wasn't still enjoying it. He usually did not initiate this specific act.

He laid me down lightly and pulled my sweater over my head. I started to sit up and his lips crushed against mine yet again. He pushed me back down gently as he removed my tank top. He kissed me softly down the center of my body, from my chin to the line of my pants. He removed those next, and then my socks as his warm lips pressed themselves all over my bare skin.

I still did not understand, but I was not able to care anymore. Jacob was every breath I gasped for as he moved his body over top of mine. He pushed his arm underneath my back and lifted me up to him.

"Renesmee...." he whispered as his teeth grazed my earlobe. "I need you...."

A tiny part of my brain acknowledged that he was not the first person to have said this to me today. The rest of my mind was much too preoccupied to care.

Jacob made love to me so softly, keeping my front molded to his the entire time. He seemed almost like he really did need me in this way right now, like if he didn't have me now he would never again be satisfied. I needed him as well, but that was the usual for me.

I looked at the sky as we laid in silence, tracing our fingers slowly across eachother's skin. It was getting later..... My stomach growled furiously, something it seemed to be doing a lot of lately.

"What do you want to eat?" Jacob asked softly as he pulled himself up on his hands. He kissed my neck gently before standing all the way to put his shorts on.

"I don't know. What do you want?"

"Doesn't matter to me," he said quietly. He ran his fingers slowly through my hair and then across my face as I stood up to dress myself as well. I blushed slightly; he was being even more sweet than usual.

We walked down the short hall to the kitchen and began to rummage. I followed my nose again, and this time it led me to the refrigerator. I opened the door and located what smelled good - it was a plateful of turkey. I took it out and tried a peice skeptically, but it was so delicious it made my mouth water.

"Turkey, too?" Jacob asked as I scarfed huge chunks of it down, still standing at the refrigerator. I looked up long enough to nod before stuffing my face some more. "You're appetite's been really weird here lately."

That was definitely not the only thing that was becoming weird.


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter Twenty Three - Attatched**

People continued to act strangely towards me all week. They were all taken aback when their eyes stopped on me, always dazed if I spoke or smiled to them. It was annoying for the most part, except when I was not at school.

On Tuesday, I got to school right on time. Brittany chattered to me excitedly about the Winter Dance - she was going with some girlfriends that didn't have dates, even though a couple of guys had asked her. She said she was holding out for an older man, like me with Jacob. She didn't realize what a gap that actually was; she would have to date someone seventeen years older than her to equal mine and Jake's ages.

Anthony continued to follow me around like a hopeless puppy dog, much to my chagrin. People that had noticed his outburst on Monday snickered when they saw him around me. He didn't care at all, he didn't even notice. His only concern seemed to be me, and my only concern lately was trying to avoid his mouth landing on mine.

By Thursday, I was getting more attention at school than anyone would have been comfortable with. I was a topic of gossip somehow, even though people only seemed to want to say good things about me. It was extremely disconcerting.

Anthony was leaning against the gym wall waiting for me at the end of the day. I wished I could just escape him and everyone else, but it was too weird for me to say I was walking home and to just go through the woods.

"He's been late every day this week," Anthony said as we reached the parking lot. He sounded angry, as if Jacob being a few minutes late genuinely upset him. I couldn't tell him that he wasn't really late, he'd been here all day. I kept my mouth shut.

Anthony spun on the balls of his feet and smoldered his eyes into mine again. This was getting very old, very fast. He plastered his body up against me, and I could tell he was using all of his strength - not to hurt me, but he'd figured out that I was stronger than him by now.

"Renesmee," he said softly into my ear. "You are so beautiful...... you smell amazing," he said in wonder as he inhaled the scent coming off of my face and neck.

"Um, yeah..." was all I could say back to that. What was going on with everyone around me?? Now I had guys sniffing me.

"I love you, Renesmee. I need you," his face moved down towards mine for a kiss, and I pushed him backwards a little too hard. He fell to the pavement in a huge puddle of icky rainwater, shock evident on his face.

I reached my hand out to him and muttered a "Sorry". He stared at me in awe as he got back to his feet.

"You're so strong!" he exclaimed. Crap....

"You're stronger," I said, smiling shyly. I did not want my physical attributes to be brought into the open. I had to distract him, and fast. He blinked furiously but could not rid himself completely of the blank expression.

"Maybe......" he said. I turned my head slightly away for a moment, and when I turned back his lips caught mine instantaneously. He pushed his body as close to mine as he could manage as his arms flew around me. One hand grabbed at the back of my hair while the other forced it's way underneath the back of my shirt. His lips moved desperately as they begged for a response from my own.

I pushed him back from me, more gently this time, and quickly pulled his hands off of me. I wanted to scream at him, or maybe at least push him in the mud again, but I did neither. There was no use, anyways - this guy did not give up easily. I could probably rip his own arm off and throw it at him and he'd just come back for more.

"Stop doing that," I said eventually. He reached towards my face again and I waved his hand away quickly. "Go home Anthony."

He waited for a minute before turning away defeated. I watched him pull his little green Neon away before I started back for the woods.

Jacob looked completely furious as I approached, but his expression turned to bliss once his eyes paused on me. His eyes flickered back and forth from a look of anger to one of desire about five times in a matter of minutes. He swooped me up into his arms and kissed me passionately, the same way he'd been kissing me all week - like he had to, like he needed to.

He set me back on my feet and handed me his shorts while he phased. He offered me a seat on top of him again, so I secured myself silently.

He made it home in record time yet again, flying through his front door to let me climb off of him and onto the couch. He phased back to himself, and swept me up into his arms again. He hugged me tightly, inhaling heavily against my jaw before kissing all over my neck.

The front door opened gently after a few moments, and my parents walked in noiselessly. Jacob acted as if he didn't notice a thing.

"Ummm, Jacob?" I said as my parents waited patiently. I expected Jake to set me back to my feet, but he bent his knees and sat down on the couch, cradling me into his chest like I was a baby. He didn't look up at them once, only nuzzled his face deeply into my throat.

My father stood grimacing for a few very long minutes. "I think you'll have to go it alone, Bella," he said, finally turning his gaze away from Jacob's closeness. "Love you, Renesmee," he said, still facing my mother. He quickly flew out of the door.

Jacob finally seemed to acknowledge that we were not the only ones in the room, and reluctantly pulled his face away from me. "Oh, hey Bells," he said serenely before nuzzling against me again. I gave my mom a look of question.

"Jacob, do you mind if I borrow my daughter for a few minutes?" she said, clearly annoyed.

"Mmmm.... sure," he said dazedly. He inhaled deeply against my jawline before releasing me. I followed Mom out of the house and up into the cover of the forest.

"What's going on with him??" she asked with real concern.

"I don't know.....it's been a really weird week. It's not just him, it's everybody that I've been around. The people at school keep staring at me and talking about me, and the people close to me are getting very..... attatched."

Mom looked at me with a somewhat baffled expression, making me giggle at her. She blinked a few times, and her eyes seemed to be unfocused. Oh no, not her too......

"You look..... radiant today, Ness," she said in a happy tone. "Maybe that's what it is.... maybe the pull to you is stronger for some reason."

"Yeah, seems like it....." I said towards the ground. Mom laughed her lovely bell peals, making me look back at her. "What?"

"When I met your father..... he was always dazzling me. Maybe that's what's happening to you now. He had a way of always making humans befuddled, if he got close enough to do so. Maybe that's all it is..... maybe the human in you makes it even easier for you to dazzle everyone."

That made sense. I just wonder why it's so much greater now. "Yeah, maybe," I answered slowly.

"I have something for you!" she said excitedly.

"What is it?" I smiled, glad for the subject change. She removed a box from behind her back and handed it to me. I read the words and looked at the picture on the outside.

"It's a portable mp3 stereo!" she exclaimed. "Since your's is so big, you can have this little one for over here instead of using your headphones all the time."

Cool. "Thanks Mom!" I threw my arms around her and we hugged eachother tightly for a long time. I gave her a sloppy kiss on her cheek.

"I have to go soon, darling. I'm meeting Alice to update her on everything going on around here," she said as we released. "It's so hard to have them all so far away....." she drifted off.

"Where's Dad at? I want to ask him something...." Maybe since he could read all of Jake's thoughts, he could tell me why he'd been acting so strange. I heard a light shuffle, and then my father was leaning against a tree a few feet in front of me. Mom hugged me again and told me goodbye as Dad watched in silence. When she was gone I just looked at him and waited for an answer.

"I don't know, Renesmee...... He seems even more wrapped around you than usual. He keeps thinking that he _needs_ you, like every second he's away from you he's literally dying. He's practically intoxicated by your presence."

_What does that mean, though? I'm so confused...._

"I can't be sure what it means, but he's starting to make me angry....... some of his thoughts aren't quite so bad, though." He stopped to go deep into his thoughts, or Jacob's thoughts probably. "Very strange.... he truly does beleive he needs to be with you every second, more so than ever before. It's like a compulsion....."

_Everyone has been acting really weird around me lately....._

"Like a moth to a flame?" he smiled. "When have they not acted that way?" He paused to listen to my thought process. My memories ran across people at school, every strange look I'd been given all week. I thought about Anthony's constant attempts and proclamations of love.

Dad's face turned down to a grimace. "That is strange....." he said slowly as he thought it all over. I watched him intently, wishing that sometime I could read his mind instead. It was sure to be absolutely fascinating, to have all of your own intelligent thoughts plus every thought of everyone around you. Dad knew more about most people than they knew about themselves, just by standing close to them.

"It's alot more annoying than you'd think," he said frowning slightly. "Especially when your daughter is dating a hormone driven werewolf that can not control his thoughts one bit."

"Are you going to be around here?"

"I'll be a few miles down for a while. Wouldn't want to see anything..... that I don't want to see," he finished with the edges of his stone mouth turned completely down. He ran with me to the house and hugged me goodbye before setting off alone. I knew he'd be far enough away in just minutes to not hear Jacob and I.

I walked through the door and Jake was sitting in the same spot he'd been when I left. His eyes were closed, but he obviously wasn't asleep because a huge smile lifted his features.

"Renesmee," he said with almost relief in his voice. He opened his eyes as if to make sure that it definitely was me, and his smile got much bigger. I could not help but smile widely in return; I loved that just my presence seemed to be making him feel so good.

He began to rise slowly, but I crossed the room to the couch before he was up. I curled into his lap, and his onyx stones penetrated my gaze. His expression shifted from dazed to one of desire as he held my eyes with his. My breathing hitched as his lips molded to mine.

He kissed me gently, yet roughly, his lips moving with mine in a way that made his intentions clear. It was only seconds before I was gasping for each breath, pulling him closer to me because I needed more. My hands wound around his neck as my fingers gripped at his hair and dug into his skin. He moaned softly into my mouth, sending a cold - hot chill down my entire body.

He stood up while we kissed, carrying me off to his room. I expected him to place me on the bed, but he turned away from it and set me up on the dresser, knocking random things to the floor without care. He pressed his body tightly to me as his lips met mine with so much intensity that it was tangible in the air.

He peeled my clothes off, slowly and carefully, kissing the length of my body as his hands moved. He grabbed around my waist and pulled me into him, inhaling luxuriously at my throat.

"You're perfect, Ness," he whispered sweetly. I gasped and closed my eyes as he entered me easily. He bent his knees so that he was level with me as he thrust forward again and again. The dresser knocked against the wall behind it as we clung to each other madly. My legs wound around his waist, making him gasp wildly.

He lifted me up by my bottom and placed my back against a wall. His arms moved my body up and down slowly, then faster as my nails ripped open the skin of his back. I moaned his name softly and his lips met mine with eagerness.

Jacob had never not known what to do with my body and his, had always been smooth and flawless. He was passionate and tender, rough yet gentle, taking me to places I'd never dreamed existed. My insides were screaming for more of him, for nothing in the world but Jacob. I placed my hand to his face and he moaned at my thoughts and feelings as they flooded his own mind. He threw me to the bed impulsively and was on top of me in less than seconds.

There was something animalistic in his movements, in the way that he needed me. The need was even stronger than it had been yesterday, and it was growing every second that we were together. His hands moved across my body leaving no piece untouched while wave after wave of ecstasy pounded through me.

He shuddered lightly as a climax rolled through him, but he was nowhere near finished. We had one another again and again, never being able to break our hold for even an instant. We moved from the bed to the floor, the floor to the walls, the walls to the dresser..... it was indescribably incredible.

I was completely sure we would have kept it up all night without stopping once if Billy hadn't come home. Jacob groaned with displeasure when he came in and called out for Jake to help him with something. He did not want to leave my side for even a second..... it was like he had been orbiting around me, like I was the sun and he was a planet trapped in my gravity. His eyes were pained as he left me lying alone on his bed.

The second he was away from me, my lack of food and sleep finally caught up. My eyelids were drooping and my stomach was rumbling when he came back in.

"Do you want some more pancakes? Something else?" he offered when he noticed my hunger.

"Pancakes sounds good," I smiled. His expression blanked for a moment, and then the corners of his mouth turned up quickly.

"I'm so lucky..... luckiest man that ever lived....." he said to himself as he went towards the kitchen. I heard him whistling as he walked.


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter Twenty Four - Kidnapped**

I woke up to the sun rising. Jacob was already up, staring at me intently as I slept. A broad smile crossed his face when my eyes opened. I groaned as I rolled over and noticed the soreness in my body. This was strange - I had never felt sore before. My stomach began to turn violently as I stood up.

Jake's expression changed from completely happy to very worried. "What's wrong, Nessie?"

I pushed him easily aside and went for the bathroom. He came in right behind me and held my hair so that I did not vomit in it. I tried to push him out of the bathroom as he filled a washcloth with water to clean me up with, but he ignored me.

"Are you okay?" he asked as he dabbed at my forehead. "The only other time I've seen you puke is when you tried to eat salad."

"Yeah, I actually feel fine now. Except I'm hungry....."

Jacob laid me down on the couch in the living room. "What do you want? I'll cook you anything," he smiled. He pushed me back down as I tried to stand up.

"I have to go look. I have to sniff it out to know what I want." He allowed me to stand, so I walked slowly into the kitchen. I smelled around for a few minutes as my nose led me to the refrigerator. I opened it up and found a plate of leftover bacon that smelled extremely appetizing. I scarfed down the few peices, but my hunger only seemed to increase.

"You want some more bacon?" Jacob asked as he watched me. "I didn't think you liked meat......"

Neither did I. There were alot of foods I didn't usually like that I did all of a sudden. People food was turning out to be irresistible, which was fine with me. If I could live happily off of that instead of killing my own food, that was only a good thing.

"Yeah," I answered. "It's really good, actually."

"You can go lay back down. I'm going to call your parents."

"Why?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.

"To tell them you're not going to school today," he said happily. He hated me going away from him every day, even if the past week he'd been there to keep an eye on me. I didn't feel sick anymore, but I might as well take a day off when it was handed to me.

"I'm going to brush my teeth first," I decided as Jake dialed my father's number. My breath was probably reeking by now. I walked down the little hall to the bathroom before going back to lay down on the couch. I wondered to myself if Billy was here...... He didn't seem to be. I got up and went to Jacob's room to find my new mp3 stereo.

I hooked it up in the little living room while I inhaled the delicious bacon Jacob was cooking for me. I scrolled down my list until I found Agents of Oblivion. They were my absolute favorites, and I hadn't listened to them in so long. Not all of them, at least; Dax Riggs had been in a lot of bands. The melody swirled itself from the speakers, filling the house with it's beauty.

Jacob walked into the living room with his eyes closed. "I love this music, Nessie," he said in an awed tone. "Isn't this what you played for me that one day?"

I giggled. He was right, and I knew exactly what day he was talking about. "Yeah, that one day," I agreed, still giggling. The last time I had listened to this band was the day I figured out I was madly in love with Jacob. He slowly returned to the kitchen with his eyes still closed.

I was tired of laying around so I got up and put some real clothes on. I pulled my hair up into a sloppy pony-tail, and looked at myself in the mirror. I looked...... good. Really good, especially for a day like this. My skin was glowing and radiant, my eyes were round as if in excitement. I pulled my hair down and let it swirl around my face. I walked back to the livingroom to find that Jake and my bacon were waiting on me.

He looked at me smiling before the blankness entered his face. I was getting more used to the new reaction everyone was having to me, so I didn't let it bother me. I smiled hugely at him, testing out how bad the dazzling was getting to really be. He looked like he'd just gotten drunk off of me. Better not do too much of that, then.

I sat down beside him and started piling bacon into my mouth as he stared into space for a few minutes. He shook his head then, and seemed to mostly snap out of it. He closed his eyes and listened again to the music.

"Hey, I thought this song was all slow....." he said with slight disappointment.

"It is, this is a different version. And technically, a different band."

"Isn't that the one _he_ wrote about to you?" he asked after a familiar line was spoken. _He_ was Nahuel.

"Yeah," was all I said. Jacob had enough problems surrounding me right now, I did not want him worrying any more than he already was. The song changed a few moments later, and I relaxed. I put my face into Jacob's neck as I cuddled up closer to him. He wrapped his big arms around me and held me tight.

"You smell....." he took a big whiff of me, "Different," he finished.

"How's that?" What the hell did I smell like? Puke?

"It smells good, it's just not the way you usually smell. Your regular scent is there, but there's more to it," he said slightly confused. "It's weird."

"What's not these days?" I asked with true curiosity. Everything had been getting stranger and stranger. I thought about the last week of my life, running through everything off that I had noticed. "Anthony said I smelled good," I realized. "Is that normal? Do I always smell good to humans?"

It was obvious that my mention of Anthony was not making Jacob too happy. "I don't know, has anyone ever said it to you before?" His hands balled up into fists as he tried unsuccessfully to calm himself. "I'd like to snap that guy in two....."

"Another weird thing..." I thought out loud. I hadn't thought much about it, but Jacob had never even mentioned the fact that Anthony had kissed me again. He'd never said even a word about Anthony constantly professing his love for me, even though he'd heard every word. I didn't mind that it wasn't bothering him, it was just so out of character for Jacob to let something like that go. He usually freaked out, or did the one time at least.

"What's weird?" he asked with one perfect black eyebrow tilted up at me.

"You didn't get mad before. I thought you would have killed him, especially after he followed me and you saw him right after he'd said all that stuff, but you couldn't pull yourself away from me enough to even pay him any mind."

"Huh? What did he do?" Jacobs eyes were completely puzzled.

"Weren't you watching? You looked mad when I got to you, for a second, at least," I said, just as puzzled as he was. I thought he'd seen everything, heard everything that had been said in the parking lot.

Jacob's expression changed quickly to anger. "What did he do?" he asked again, slower than before. I placed my hand to his face and let him see, apparently for the first time. His breathing quickened as his hands balled back up and his eyebrows pulled together. His face started to turn red as I pulled my hand away. "That little -" was all he got out before the phone started ringing.

He jumped up and loped off to the kitchen. "Hello?" he answered with anger still in his voice. "WHAT?!?" he yelled with much more feeling than before. "I'll be there, give me a few minutes to get someone here to watch Nessie." He hung up the phone, then picked up again and dialed a number.

What was going on? It must be pretty bad if he was leaving and making someone else come to stay with me.

"He's close to her house right now, Edward and Bella just caught his scent. Come here now and keep Nessie safe while I'm gone...." he said into the line. Oh, crap. At my house?? Why would he go there again? He already stole my stuff, and it's not like he was going to meet me if I'd been there. Why would he go when my parents were home?

Jacob hung up the phone and practically ran to me in the livingroom. He grabbed me up and pushed his lips against mine as my hands felt their way to his neck and his hair. My mouth parted his lips slowly, and I tasted the flavor coming off of him. It was wonderful. My head was already becoming entirely filled with need for him when he pulled away and laid me back on the couch.

"I hear Leah coming. I have to go," he said hastily.

"No!" I protested, making him smile slightly. He couldn't leave me; What if something happened to him? I could not breathe without Jacob.

He hugged me up tightly and buried his face into the top of my head. "I'll be back soon, and I'll make Leah update you while I'm gone. I love you so much, Renesmee," he whispered the last sentence, and I looked up to see pain in his beautiful eyes.

"I love you too, Jacob. I'll be here waiting for you," I said as we reluctantly released one another. He looked at me longingly until Leah came in through the door. She turned her head away from us so as not to impose on our personal moment, and Jacob handed me his shorts and phased.

He flew out the door without looking back, and I felt a pang to my heart as I watched him go. I decided right then that a life without Jacob would not be worth living. If anything ever happened to end him, I would soon follow. I would not live in a world with no Jacob Black, because in my eyes he was the world. This decision made me happier than I would have expected, to know that no matter what, I would never be without him.

Leah stood guard by the door as I plopped onto the couch. "It's onnnnnlllllyyyy the end...." I sang silently along with my beautiful music. I was in a place of peace right now, despite the current situation.

The phone rang loudly and I drifted to the melody into the kitchen. "Hello," I practically sang into the receiver.

"Renesmee," my dad's voice answered. He sounded a little confused, which was unusual for him. "We are trying to find him now, and Jacob and the pack have just gotten here. He's left trails again, miles long this time."

My mind ripped away from his voice and my newfound peacefulness as I heard Leah growl and snarl wildly. I dropped the phone as if in a daze, and it dangled lifelessly from the chord. "Renesmee? What's happening?" I heard Dad's voice say as I walked to the living room.

Leah was on the floor, blood seeping out of wounds made to her chest. "Leah!!!!" I screamed as I flew to her, not yet realizing the predicament I was in. As I hovered over top of her, I noticed the giant shadow of a wolf standing still behind me.

I ignored the mystery person for the time being; I needed to make sure Leah was okay. She twitched slightly, then her breathing picked up again. I let out a huge sigh of releif as I stroked her face softly. She whimpered into my palm as I felt two long, warm arms wrapping around my body.

I felt comforted at first, because the feeling was so familiar to me. I wished that these were Jacob's arms, but my mind quickly reminded me that they were not. The fur was more brown than red, with an icy wintry smell clinging to it. One paw smashed over top of my mouth as I felt myself being carried away.

My music player was ripped from the wall in a flurry as I was carried into Jacob's room. The wolf holding me grabbed my bag of things and then was out the front door like a bolt of lightning. I thrashed and kicked, trying with every bit of might inside of me to free myself from this grasp, but he was much stronger than I was. I screamed, but his paw muffled it well.

He flew across the highway towards a black Lambourghini, but passed it by as he stopped behind the trees. He phased with me in his arms still, something I hadn't even known was possible. He was back out of the forest faster than he'd entered, pulling me into the driver's side of the car with him. I knew there was no chance now - I'd been kidnapped. The sun would disappear forever.


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter Twenty Five - Jerrick**

"Don't try to run. I'd find you," he said in a voice that was so close to my Jacob's that I felt my heart splintering to pieces. He suddenly reached over and ripped my necklace away from my neck, tossing it out the window. He was flying down the highway at an excess of one hundred twenty miles an hour. I kept my eyes on the trees, hoping beyond hope that I would see a werewolf running alongside us. I never did.

"Won't you talk to me, love? I've waited so long to meet you," he said sweetly. It made me sick to my stomach. "You'll learn to love me eventually," he concluded to himself.

I huffed in response. I would never love _him_, I would never feel anything but hate for him. He had been slowly unraveling my life, and now he'd all but ended it completely. I vowed silently to myself that if I was not found soon, I would end my own life. I was not living with _him._

"Sorry for taking you that way," he continued. "It was much harder to get close to you than I'd expected."

How had he gotten close? Especially this close, since he now had me...... My parents had said that he was at my house, but no one had sensed him in La Push until he was already there.

He picked my hand up with his and interlocked his fingers with mine. He lifted my hand to his face and stroked his own cheek with it. I was completely disgusted; I did not ever want to touch him. I ripped my hand away from his.

"What was that?" he asked with a shocked expression. I must have sent him my thoughts through my captive hand. "How did I hear that? You didn't say anything....."

I was not going to explain it to him. Let him be confused, maybe it would give me a second to escape him. I looked out the window again and considered how long it would take me to jump out and get to my house, but I wasn't even sure where I was now.

"I'll kill them if you leave me," he said coldly. I looked over to measure his expression; he looked serious. I felt a chill run down my spine. I had no reason to doubt that his words were true.

So now I must stay with this man, or the people I loved would die? I knew I could never let that happen, and apparently so did he. I blinked furiously, wishing that everything happening was just another of my nightmares. I would have to share my life with someone I would forever hate, while the love of my life would be out there looking for me, waiting for me to return to him. And I never would.

"_Even if you were to choose someone else and deny him, he would always be waiting. He would wait an eternity for you......" _My mother's wordscame flooding back to me. I hoped she was right, and wrong at the same time. I was not denying Jacob by choice, nor did I choose another. He chose me, and now Jacob would always be waiting. I did not want him to though, I wanted at least one of us to find happiness. I knew it would not happen that way - Jacob needed me as badly as I needed him. We were both doomed to an eternity of pain now.

"Come on, Nessie. Just give me a chance," he pleaded. I wanted to hit him so bad, I had to curl up my fists and bite my lip as hard as I could. How _dare_ he use Jacob's nick-name for me......

"Please?" he begged, looking at me with a smug puppy dog expression. I glared in return, making him laugh. "If you don't talk at all, I'll just talk the whole time."

I put my hand to his neck. _I hate you,_ I thought loudly. _Talk all you want, this is the last you'll be hearing from me._

"That is amazing!!" he said as I dropped my hand. "To think, I fall head over heels for this random girl, and she's got crazy super powers and stuff!!"

He sounded like a child to me. Super powers? Had he not ever dealt with our kind before? I argued silently with myself. I did not want to talk to this person, but I did want to have answers. Unfortunately, he was the only one who could give them to me.

"How did you get to me?" I asked angrily.

"It speaks!!!" he laughed excitedly. "And that, love, is a very long story."

"Stop it with the love bullshit," I snapped. "You don't love me, you don't even know me. You just imprinted on me is all." The word brought back the splintering in my heart. It was so close to shattering completely.

"What's that? And don't say I don't love you, that's all I do. You are the entire world to me now," he said, his voice a mix of pain and frustration.

"You can't help it..... the feeling in love with me part, I mean, not the being a psycho part. Haven't you ever heard of imprinting?"

"No. Explain it to me," he said hopefully. This was ridiculous to me; why should I have to explain to a werewolf about imprinting? He must have heard of it at some point. I did not want to talk about it anyways. Imprinting only made me think of one person, and thinking of him hurt too much at this moment.

"No," I said coldly. "Figure it out yourself. Ask your elders or something."

"Awww, won't you tell it to me though? I do love to finally hear your beautiful voice speaking to me," he said with sick sweetness.

"No," I repeated. I hated the huskiness of his voice, hated that this horrible being could remind me anything of Jacob. He could never be like him, no matter what he did. He would never be the sun, the air, the world. Never to me.

"That's fine, I have plenty of questions of my own," he smiled down at me as I forced stomach acid back down my throat. "What are you, besides the most beautiful creature on Earth?"

"Vampire and human," I answered reluctantly. Maybe if I answered his questions, he would answer mine.

"Vampire?? And human?? I didn't think that was possible," he said in obvious amazement. "Hmmm.... and your wolf? How did you come to be with him?"

"Next question," I said blankly, trying as hard as possible to not think about Jacob and his perfect face, his perfect body, his loving heart.....

"But that's the most important one," he argued. "I really would like to hear about him, he seems to care for you almost as much as I do."

My arm pulled inwards, then snapped out at his face.

"Owww!!!!!" he yelled as he regained control of the fast car and rubbed his jaw.

"Don't you ever talk about my Jacob!!!!!" I screamed just inches from his face. "Your love is nothing in comparison to his for me!!!! You could never have that much love contained inside of your heart!!!!"

"Why did he leave you today then? I heard you tell him no," he said like he was trying to reason with me. Part of my brain questioned how he knew that, but the anger won over it.

"He left me so that he could kill you!!!! He wanted to prevent this exact situation!!!!!"

"Well, he didn't do a very good job, did he?" he said smugly. I resisted the urge to punch him again, remembering that his strength out-weighed mine. "You are with me now, and he is never going to see you again."

I felt traitor tears pouring from my eyes. I could not live if I never saw Jacob again, I did not want to. Just the thought of it tore a new hole inside of me, one that spanned the entirety of my chest.

"I'm sorry, please don't cry," he said as he tried to wipe a tear away. I couldn't move to avoid him. I felt like an empty shell of what I once was. The rest of me belonged to Jacob, and I'd left it with him in our last moments together. I gripped ahold of every memory I could find inside of me of Jacob and pulled them like a blanket around my head. This would be the only peace left for me now.

"I don't mean to upset you, Renesmee, just telling you a simple truth. You can't see him, because he would try to take you away from me. You're much too precious to lose as soon as I've gotten ahold of you. Not that you are a possession, just more special than a regular girl."

I felt the car stop moving and the jerk of his door opening. He opened my door next and waited for me to get out of the car. I could not move; I was dead. He lifted me from my seat and carried me through a door.

"Hello, do you have a reservation?" A woman asked.

"Yes, it's under Jerrick White," he answered happily. His name killed me just a bit more, being so close and so opposite of the one I loved. He lifted one arm away from me and then started walking again. I felt the lifting of an elevator around me, and then heard a ding. He walked again, stopping to unlock the door with his key card.

Cleaner and flowers filled the air around me as I was laid gently onto a bed. I looked up and knew I was in a hotel, even though I had never seen one personally before. I was surprised to hear 'Ladybug' start playing in the room, one of my favorite songs. I had listened to it earlier today, just before Jacob left me forever. I tried to enjoy it like I always had, but the words held no meaning for me anymore. Corpses don't listen to music, and would not feel anything for it if they did.

"You really do intrigue me," he said. I repositioned myself slightly and noticed a book above my head. I looked up and saw my familiar photo album lying there. He must have really planned this out, down to where he would take me. "I do wish you would talk to me. You have no idea what I've been through to get you here."

I closed my eyes and could see nothing but Jacob. I latched on to him, reliving inside my head all of the perfect moments we'd had together. I pretended I was at home, warm in his arms like I wanted so badly to be. I felt his lips touch mine, his hands leave trails of fire down my skin. It was only a whisper of what was real, but it was the best I would ever feel again.

Two hot arms wrapped around me and cradled me into a chest. I did not want him to hold me, but I had no strength to protest. He took my hand, having learned that he could hear my thoughts this way. I would have hid them if I could.

He sighed in exasperation. "I will be better than him, you'll see. No one will ever love you the way that I'm going to."

My mind argued because my mouth could not. How could he have deluded himself so much? Why didn't he realize that he had imprinted on me, and that the feelings he had were not really anything to do with me at all?

"Imprinted......." he said slowly. Why didn't he know what it was? Hadn't any of his brothers explained it to him?

"I've never heard of it. Tell me what it is."

My mind ran over the details, more by sheer compulsion than by actual want. My heart ached again like I really was alive, but I shoved it away. I would rather feel dead than feel the life ahead of me.

"You are going to get over him. You'll love me in time. How could you not, when I am going to give you everything you could ever want?"

He must know nothing of my kind if he thought we got over things easily. Jacob was the only one I would ever love, even if I lived a million years never seeing him again. He was everything I could ever want.

Jerrick reached down and rubbed my stomach tenderly. "What would you like to eat?" he asked.

Nothing. I would never eat again, it was only dragging my life out farther.

"Don't say that. You have to eat something or else you'll hurt the baby," he said matter-of-factly. Huh? The baby??

"You didn't know? You're pregnant, Renesmee." I felt a slight flutter of life within my heart at his words. Could this be true? I had been eating a lot, and then I got sick this morning, and the dream from the other night.....

"How did he not smell it on you? Even I can sense that."

He had smelled it on me, he just didn't know how to identify it. Everyone had sensed it somehow..... that must be why everyone was acting so strange, why they all said I looked different, more radiant. Could it be why Anthony and Jacob had been so obsessive with me?

"Another boy? I thought your wolf would be my only competition. It does make sense, though. Pregnancy must do wonderful things for human vamp hybrids, make them alluring somehow."

I could not be pregnant, not right now. How could I have Jacob's baby when he could not be with me to do so? He wouldn't even get to know about it....

"I'll take care of it with you. We'll be a family."

NO!!!!! My family was gone. If the choice was between having this baby with him or not having it at all, I was not having it at all. I would never subject someone I loved to this Hell. I would have to kill it before he could turn it into a monster like himself.

"You will do no such thing. I will be the baby's father, and that's all there is to it. Unless you leave me....."

_Unless I leave you, what?_

"Then I will kill it myself," he answered coldly. This enraged me, bringing more life back to my head than I'd thought could ever be left. If he touched my baby, even looked at it the wrong way, he would be the one dying that day. I would never make a child with Jacob and let this man harm it in any way. It was a peice of him, and I had to hold on to any peice I could find.

"I'll order you some food," he said in the same cold tone. He placed me back on the bed as he called room service on the phone.

I ate all the shrimp he'd had delivered while he watched and smiled. When I was done I laid down on my back, trying to pull back more memories of my Jacob. I closed my eyes for a moment, and when I opened them, his face was above me. He scooped me up into his arms and sat back down with me on his lap.

He forced his lips to mine desperately, clutching me so tightly to him that there was no room to escape them. My body and face froze completely as I waited for it to be over. He rolled over slightly and laid me down on the bed beneath him, kissing me forcefully yet again.

He pulled back to look at my statueness and then mashed his lips to mine violently. My lack of response to his attempts seemed to anger him more and more with each passing second. He moaned against my mouth, more in frustration than in pleasure.

He climbed on top of my completely still body and his hands pulled at the small buttons to my shirt. They left the first five undone as they moved to grasp both of my shoulders. His lips tried hard to move mine, but to no avail. He finally gave up and started kissing my neck, all the way down to between my breasts.

I could easily tell what he intended to do to me, but I had no way to fight him. My body was just an empty shell, and it did not matter what was done to it. The only feeling it would care to recognize was Jacob's warmth, and it would never have that pleasure ever again. I did not want him to do this, but what I wanted was not going to matter.

I was extremely releived when he rolled off of me. It was the wrong reaction though - he was not through yet. He stood up and undid the rest of my top, pulling it off of me and throwing it to the floor. He yanked off my pants and underwear next, and I knew there was no hope now. I welcomed the numbness for this moment, begged for it even.

His hot mouth touched itself to my naked skin over and over, starting from my breasts and ending at my feet. He pealed his clothes off and climbed back on top of me, forcing more kisses from my dead lips. I tried first to pretend I was somewhere else, to not feel anything that was happening to me right now, but it had no affect.

His hands moved up and down the length of me, feeling every curve and crevice they could find. They paused on all the places I wanted him to touch the least, as was natural. As natural as rape could be, that is. I felt giant tears begin to roll down my face.

He abruptly took his hands off of me and jumped up. I wanted to be glad for this, but it could just be another false alarm, so I tried to not get my hopes up. Something soft was quickly thrown on top of me.

"Put those on, please" he said with his back turned towards me. He sounded embarassed in a way. I was just thankful that Jacob had still been the only man I had ever been with. I pulled the pajamas onto my body quickly and curled up into a ball. At least in this position, he would have to work to unpry me from myself before he could take advantage of me.

"I'm so sorry, that was out of line," he said quietly. He took a step back and sat down beside me on the bed. "You're just so.... perfect. But that is no excuse for my behavior. I was not prepared for quite how alluring you can be. Can I ever make it up to you?" he asked as he took my hand. The only thing he could give me was my home back, my life back, my love back.

"No. Not that," he said coldly. I ripped my hand away from his and wrapped it tightly around my knees. He lifted up my still form and laid me in his lap. He was like the exact opposite of Jacob - Jake wanted to give me everything that I wanted, and this man would give me none of it. He would only give me what he wanted. He could not possibly love me; he was a monster uncapable of love.

I accidentally fell asleep there in his arms, knowing that my life had ended on this day, and knowing that there was a new life growing inside of me.


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter Twenty Six - Answers**

I woke up to Dax Riggs' velvet voice, making me feel almost happy. Then I looked around and realized where I was, and not even this glorious noise could take me away from it. Jerrick was still holding me, making the sickness in my stomach a million times worse.

I got up and went to the bathroom to vomit, locking the door behind me as I went. I laid down on the cold tile and begged for something to change, for rescue or death one. I intended to stay here on this floor today, for as long as I could, but the door quickly got ripped off of it's hinges and I knew he'd never leave me alone.

"Are you alright?" he said with concern. I did not acknowledge his existance. He picked me up off of the floor and took me back to the bed. The hotel room stunk of him, making me sick once again. I threw up on him, partially on purpose. He didn't seem to mind though.

There was a cart with pancakes stacked high on it. I did not want to eat, but I felt like I had to with all of this delicious food staring at me. I had another mouth to feed anyways, and it deserved nourishment even if I did not. I stuffed them down quickly before returning to my corpse state.

"Renesmee, I'd like to tell you about myself. That is, if you'd like to know," he said as he took my hand. Sure, why not. Might as well tell a Dead Girl a story.

"Alright, then. Well, I come from North Dakota, on a reservation called White Earth. Wolves have been in our tribe for generations, and I was supposed to be the alpha of my pack."

_Go on,_ I thought. He wanted me to play along with this little information game.

"A few others turned before I did, and someone else was already considered the leader by the time my gene was triggered."

This sounded so similair to Jacob's story. My heart cracked and splintered apart once more at the thought of his name.

"They are the same as us? I wondered about that...... I wonder if they have Preservation like we do."

_?? Preservation?_

"It's only something we can do when we have no pack, like a lone wolf thing," he chuckled at his own pun. "We can go undetected if we feel in danger, so that no one can pick up our scent while we're in that area. Then, when we leave that area, that's when they can sense us."

That explained a lot. I had asked myself about this part many times, wondering how he always got away before he was noticed. Did that mean his trails were from him staying in one area for a long time?

"Yes, that's what it was."

"How come I caught your scent that first day then?" I decided to ask out loud.

"I had just come into the area and had no idea of what was around it. I hid at first to avoid you, but then I had no reason to. I knew I was in love with you and wanted you to see me."

"And yesterday?"

"I went to your house first and made sure to get as close as possible without being seen. Then I went to get you, knowing that your protectors would come to the place that my scent had just been picked up."

He was very smart..... and I felt very stupid. I should have listened to myself and known there was something more to what he could do.

"You said you can only hide yourself if you have no pack, right? So what happened to yours?" I asked, somewhat curious.

"I was excommunicated," he said simply.

"What for?" I didn't even know they could do that.

"For killing the one who stole my position," he said as if this was completely normal. "It is normal, Renesmee. It's what wild animals do."

"You don't have to act like a wild animal. You're still a person." Just a horrible person.

He sighed heavily and released my hand. "I'll be better for you. I'll do everything I can to make you happy when you are ready to love me. I'll give you a family, a home, and new friends. But you won't need any of it, because you'll be happy with just me."

I did not feel like arguing a point that he would never listen to. This man was one of the worse kind and he actually expected me to fall in love with him. He was a murderer, a kidnapper, and almost a rapist. I would hate myself for even the thought of loving him.

He stood up and walked over to my bag of belongings. He picked me out some clothes and handed them to me. "You should wear this today," he said as if I had any choice in the matter. I stayed frozen - I needed to take a shower, but I was afraid to with him here.

"Can I shower?"

"Of course you can." He bent towards me to pick me up again, but I dodged under his arms.

"I can walk myself," I said coldly. I went towards the bathroom and heard his footsteps right behind me. I spun around to look at him. "What are you doing?"

"Well, I can't just leave you alone in there. What if you try to escape?"

I looked at the floor. "I'd never do anything to put my family in danger. And there's not even a door on the bathroom."

He seemed to deliberate for a few moments. "I'll turn away from you while you're getting in and out," he decided. I started walking back to the bed - I was not taking a shower with him in the same room, even if he had already seen me naked.

"Where are you going?" he asked loudly.

"To bed. You have to sleep sometime, I'll just shower then."

"Don't be ridiculous," he said, but did not bother to remove me from my fetal position. He set down beside me and stroked my face and hair."I danced myself right out the womb...." I sang along with 'Cosmic Dancer' while I tried to lose myself within it.

"I love you, Renesmee," he said, his voice so painfully husky.

"I love you, Jacob," I said in return. Jacob was the only one who I would ever love, and that was never changing. I felt something hit my face hard with a loud smack, and then felt the burn of his handprint across my cheek. I rubbed the spot once and then decided to ignore it. It did not hurt - it was impossible to hurt this dead body. Only my soul ached in endless pain.

He gasped loudly. "I'm so sorry, Renesmee, so sorry," he whined. He touched his too-hot lips to the spot where he'd hit me, kissing all over the side of my face. He was the most selfish creature I'd ever had the displeasure of knowing, constantly only giving himself what he wanted. He knew I did not care for him, so he must know that this was only making it worse instead of better.

My shirt was ripped from my body so quickly even I did not catch the movement. His disgusting mouth moved to my breasts as he sucked and kissed all over them. He pushed his hand down my pajamas and touched me cruelly as my tears began again.

He stood up suddenly and began pacing back and forth as I covered myself in the blanket on the bed. I curled up and sobbed into it, wishing that it did not smell like him.

"What am I doing?!" he yelled at himself. "How could she love you when you keep trying to force yourself on her physically?!?!" He stopped and looked down at my trembling form. "Why are you so irresistable....?" he asked slowly. He handed me the shirt he had chosen for me earlier and I slid into it underneath the blanket.

"I am sorry....." he said again. I was sick of his apologies. If he was truly sorry, I would not be here right now.

I closed my eyes and tried to dream while awake, tried to smell Jacob instead of this thing, tried to see him and feel him again. It felt like such a distant memory, growing more clouded with each ticking of the clock.

"You can go shower now, if you would like. I will not bother you," he said as he stared at the ground. I gathered the broken peices of myself and stood up to go bathe myself.

I looked at the spot where I'd been hit in the mirror. His palm was visible, along with all of his fingers in a bright red streak across the left of my face. I hurried into the shower, waiting to remove the rest of my clothes until I was already behind the curtain.

I thought about the one time I'd taken a shower with Jacob and tried to feel him again during this one. It was not the same without him actually here, and it would never be the same again. All I had left was memory's and dreams, and the small baby growing inside of me.

I decided that I would have to have this child, and possibly give it up if I needed to. I could never let anything happen to him or her, not when Jacob and I had created it together. I loved our baby, just like he would if he had gotten to know about it. I tried to imagine what his reaction would have been to such news; he would have been ecstatic to become a father.

My shower was over much too soon, forcing me to go back to where he was waiting on me. He was sitting in a small chair a few feet from the bed, so I laid down far from him.

"Do you feel better?" he asked as I came in.

"Mmm," was all that would escape my mouth.

"You should go to sleep. We are leaving tomorrow," he told me excitedly. I wanted to ask him where he was taking me, but did not really want to know. It didn't matter where I was, my grave had already been dug.

He crossed the room to me and held me against his body forcefully. I hated his touch, his smell...... I just hated him. I closed my eyes and thought of Jacob, my dreams quickly taking over my head but repeating the thoughts I'd asked them to.

I saw Jacob coming through the sunlight, smiling his rays at me. His black eyes were excited to see me, just like they always were. He whispered I love you's into my ears as he held me like no one else ever could. He kissed me everywhere, on every single inch of my skin. I dreamed about the day before I'd been stolen away from him, the wonderful passion that we had for one another.

I felt something hard slam into my face, waking me up and ending my beautiful dreams. My eyes saw nothing but an extremely angry man that I hated, and I realized he had punched me very hard in the face. My cheek was all pins and needles over the next few minutes.

Jerrick paced back and forth again, cursing at himself for hitting me. It was ridiculous that he could not even control himself well enough to not punch or assault someone he was convinced he was in love with. I realized then that this was going to be my new life. He had held back himself in one sense so far, but it was only a matter of time before he did everything he wanted to do to me. I would spend the rest of my days broken and bloodied, praying for death every second.

"Get dressed," he said abruptly. "We're leaving now."


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter Twenty Seven - Death**

I grabbed something random from my bag and walked to the bathroom to put it on. He was standing still in view, so I turned my back to only feel his eyes upon me. I was afraid if he saw me changing like this, he would try to rape me again, but I had nowhere else to dress.

I was standing topless when I almost pinched myself - Had I just caught a tiny whiff of Jacob? Or was it just a delusion?

There was a very loud crash, and then a lot of growling behind me. I spun around, not caring that I had no shirt on. My heart thumped wildly at the scene before me, both with unimaginable joy and fear. There were two wolves in the hotel room, one a brownish-red, the other an unmistakable reddish-brown. Jacob had found me.

The two of them snarled ferociously as they circled one another slowly. Jacob attacked first, but was thwarted in his attempt. His body hit the floor with a loud thump, making my heart stop altogether. It beat again as he stood up to circle some more.

This time he used tact, waiting patiently for Jerrick to spring at him. He jumped lightly from his spot, grabbing the skin of Jerrick's neck as he fell past him. Blood squirted from the torn flesh, spraying wildly across the room.

Jerrick tried to stand up again under Jacob's weight, but he could not get his bearings. Jacob's teeth ripped his skin again and then spit the chunk towards my direction. Jacob's eyes met mine then, making him completely distracted. Jerrick took advantage of the moment, grabbing his own chunk of flesh from my Jacob.

Jake pulled himself back into the fight, biting and clawing at Jerrick's belly which was now above his face. Jerrick whimpered loudly and collapsed, but was back to his feet as soon as Jacob was gone from underneath of him.

I took a deep breath and smelled something that made me feel alive again. My parents were here too.

Dad and Mom flew through the open doorway, tackling Jerrick to the ground. Dad punched him in the face repeatedly, looking more like he just needed to get his anger out than he was actually trying to hurt him. Mom held him down and looked like she was trying very hard to decide something.

Dad threw Jerrick against a wall, not using all his strength so as not to break it. Jacob came over to me and rubbed his big furry head on my abdomen, making me the happiest girl in the whole world. I had thought I may never feel his touch again. I finally put my shirt on, then bent to my knees and hugged him around his neck.

He pulled back slightly and licked the length of my face, making me smile. My smile turned down a bit as I felt the pain from my previous beating. Jacob's eyes flashed with some unknown feeling, and then he turned back to Jerrick growling.

My mom was still standing there looking undecided about something. She looked to me from across the room, and her eyes focused in on the spot where I'd been punched. Anger flashed in her eyes, and she quickly spun around to face Jerrick as well.

She flew to him in an instant where Dad had him pinned to the wall, and her teeth cut into his flesh at different areas of his broken body: his neck, both arms, both legs, his torso, over his heart. He writhed in pain before crumpling to the floor.

Mom's venom began seering away the flesh, turning it quickly to ash. His bones shown beneath his blackened skin as he howled in fury. He was dying, and I was glad for it. He had deserved to die.

And I was able to live again. I had Jacob again, and my family. My heart fluttered wildly as I realized I would soon have my own family of myself, Jacob, and our unnamed baby.

Dad looked over at me for the first time. His expression was confused, but quickly turned to anger. I did not want him to be mad at me right now. He had just helped save my life - couldn't he hate me a little later?

He crossed the room to me in two steps and picked me up into a huge hug. "I'm not angry with you, Renesmee. I am beyond happy that you are alive..... we can discuss the rest later. I'm angry at this.....mutt, for hitting you," he said as he rubbed the spot lightly. That wasn't even the half of what he'd done to me.

Dad's eyes grew huge. He had reached a level of anger that left him speechless as he listened to my thoughts, something I had never seen happen before. His body started shaking as he could not break his eye contact with me.

"What?" Jacob asked after he switched back to regular him. My heart ached at the sound of his voice, pushing the broken peices back together again. He looked at my father for an answer, but Dad sat down where he was on the floor.

"What did he do to you, Renesmee?" Jacob whispered as he stared at my father. He shifted his gaze to me, but I did not want to discuss this openly. It had been horrible enough in private. I shook my head no slowly.

"Please Nessie. You don't have to say, you can just show me," he pleaded as he took my hand. I closed my eyes and let him see what Jerrick had done to me with his lack of self control. Jacob's expression went blank as tears rolled down his cheek. He sat down on the floor just like Dad had.

"What?" Mom asked as her head flipped back and forth between Jacob and my dad. She finally paused on me. "What did he do to you?" she growled angrily.

I looked away from her. I could not think about those moments anymore.

"He almost raped her, Bella. Twice, as far as she knows," Dad said in a pained voice. My mother ran to me and swept me into her arms, crying tearless sobs for me. I was still wondering what he had meant by as far as I knew.

"He was considering it again as we got here. He was watching you change and may have gone through with it that time, but I did not know what he had already done," Dad growled. He kicked the pile of ashes and bone on the floor beside him.

"I'm glad I killed him for you, Nessie," Mom crooned in my ear. Jacob glanced at me, then quickly hid his head again. I was once again reminded of the new life inside of me. Dad shot me a questioning glance.

_I'll tell them later. Please, please just take me home._

"As you wish, Renesmee. Let us get your things together so we can go." He started to pick up my clothes that were strewn on the floor, but stopped when he heard me wanting him not to. I did not need reminders of the time I'd spent here.

I glanced at the missing door. How had no one come to see what was going on?

"Someone pulled the fire alarm," Dad answered. He packed my mp3 player then waited for Jacob to stand so we could go.

"Jake...." I whispered. I wanted to hug him and kiss him and tell him how much I loved him, but it didn't feel right now. He might not see me the same way as he had before I'd let him see Jerrick's controlling of me. He might not even want me anymore. My heart cracked open again at the thought, and I regretted showing him first hand.

"He doesn't think that way, Renesmee. He's never loved you more than he does right now, he's just extremely upset for letting this happen to you," Dad said as Jacob's head snapped up and held onto my eyes.

"Letting it happen!!!! NO!!!!! No one let this happen, except for psycho wolf over here," I said, kicking the dust across the room. "Everyone tried so hard to protect me, and it's nobody's fault he still got me! He had preservation......"

"What?" Jacob and Mom said in unison. Dad only looked at me and waited for me to explain it to him silently.

"That answers so many questions....." he said as he heard it all. He turned and quickly described the special power to Jake and Mom. They both nodded in understanding, finally having figured out how this all really happened.

Jacob took two steps and crushed himself against me, making my heart explode with joy. He kissed my face where the bruises were, then kissed all over my face and head. He picked me up off the ground and squeezed me as tightly as he could.

"Umm, Jacob, you might want to be a little careful with her," Dad said. He knew I was pregnant and was trying to help without giving me away. I gave him many silent thank you's.

Jacob loosened his grip but still held me to him. "I'm so sorry, Renesmee. I swear I'll never let anything bad happen to you for the rest of your life. I love you so much." There was clear pain in his onyx eyes.

I pulled my face up and kissed him softly, wanting more than ever to see my sunrise again. The light beyond my closed eyes turned red, and I was in Heaven again. "I love you so much too, Jacob. I can't ever be away from you again." I could not help but cry into his chest, both from my joy and my pain. And the fact that I wouldn't even have the chance for things to calm down before I dropped a bomb on him.

"Would you two like to take your own car back?" Dad asked after he heard my thoughts. It was time...... there would not be any other time better or worse. He jingled the keys at Jacob who held out his hand for them.

"What will you guys drive home?"Jacob asked speculatively.

"We'll rent a car, there's a dealership just a few blocks over," he amended quickly. I gave him many more silent thank you's.

Jacob drove back towards Forks holding my hand. I needed to tell him what was going on, but had no idea how to approach it. I racked my brain until I came up with probably the best I was going to get.

"Ummm, Jake?" I started quietly.

"What is it, Ness?" he glanced at me for a moment, bringing the fear back. I pushed it aside - there was nothing to fear here. Even if he was upset at first, I knew this would be okay.

"Do you remember the day, after my parents had come home.... and you asked me if I would be okay to have kids with you?"

He seemed a bit taken aback but still unsuspecting. "Yeah, I remember. What about it?"

"Well, what about you? Would you want to have kids with me?"

He chuckled lightly and kissed my hand. "Renesmee Cullen, it would be a pleasure to have babies with you. They'd be the most beautiful things alive if they looked one bit like you."

I liked his response but still had no idea how my next words were going to be received. "Well, Jacob.....I....am.....kind of......pregnant."

Jacob kept his eyes on the road as they grew to about three times their normal size. His mouth dropped open, then closed, then opened again, then closed. I waited for five minutes on him to say something.

"That smell....." he remembered. I was so releived as a smile filled his face. "We're going to have a baby?!?" he said excitedly.

I laughed at his happy reaction. "Yeah, we are."

He pulled the car to a stop on the side of the road abruptly, scaring the living crap out of me. He had at least _seemed_ excited a moment ago. He pushed his door open, then mine opened a second later. He pulled me out of the car, hugging me and spinning around in a circle. He kissed all over my face and buried his head into my neck.

"We're gonna have a baby!!!!!!!" he yelled again. I was so happy the news had been received this way. I knew he would love to be a father.

We stood there for over twenty minutes, hugging and kissing and laughing as we jumped up and down. My world felt perfect in this moment, and nothing in the real world could ruin it.


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter Twenty Eight - Home**

"Mom, can I talk to in private please?" I asked excitedly when we arrived at my house. I had not realized how much I missed this place until just now, but there were more pressing matters at hand. Dad and Jacob left the room, both with large smiles on their faces. Dad's surprised me, considering that I was now his pregnant daughter. I wondered if he was happy about something else, like that I was still in one peice.

"What is it, sweetheart?" Mom asked with concern in her eyes.

"Well, I kind of have something important to tell you."

She waited patiently, searching my eyes with hers.

I took a very long, deep breath to ready myself. "Mom, I'm pregnant," I said in an even tone. I closed my eyes so as to not see her anger, if she had any. I was very pleasanlty surprised to feel her arms wrapping around me, but when I opened my eyes, the look on her face was bewilderment.

She released me and I looked down at the floor. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to disappoint you....."

"You could never disappoint me, Renesmee," she said evenly.

"Huh?"

"It's just..... I only became a mother eight or so years ago, and now I'm going to be a grandmother. Plus, I remember my pregnancy with you...."

"I don't think this will be like that," I said reassuringly. My mother's pregnancy with me had literally killed her, after I had broken her insides almost completely. "I haven't had any pain like that, it feels like what I've heard it's supposed to."

She wound her arms around me again. "Are you alright with this?" she asked.

"Yes, I'm actually really happy. I didn't see it coming, but after everything else that's happened, this is a complete blessing." I gripped her body tightly, letting her comfort wash over me. She said nothing for a long moment, so I eventually released her. She had a very thoughtful look on her face.

"We need to speak with Carlisle," she decided. "He'll be able to give you an exam until we can take you to an office."

"I don't really feel like riding up to see them right now. I missed my home so much...."

She smiled hugely. "They are all here, Ness. They came as soon as you were taken, they're all at the house now."

My mouth dropped open in shock. "Why didn't they come with you guys??"

"They hadn't arrived yet, and we couldn't wait for them. We had to leave before they knew where we were going. And Carlisle had to make sure Leah was okay," she said in her soothing voice.

"Oh." I felt much better; I couldn't figure out why they would not come try to find me when I'd been kidnapped. "You don't think they'll be mad, do you?" I asked in a small voice.

"Probably not, for the most part anyways. If your father isn't mad, no one else should be." She was right about that, but why wasn't my father mad? He couldn't possibly be happy about this. He'd barely been able to look at me since that first time I was with Jacob in that way, it was torture to him to have to hear all of our thoughts. How could he be okay with this?

I sent the thoughts to my mom and asked her to figure out what was up with him. She nodded in agreement as Dad and Jacob came back in, both of them holding fat cigars.

"Don't smoke," I told Jacob as I went to him. "It's bad for you."

"Just celebrating the traditional way," he smiled. Dad pulled the cigar from his hand and tossed both of them out the door. What was up with him? He looked so happy..... Had I made him go crazy?

He chuckled and looked me in the eyes. "I'm not upset with you or Jacob, I promise. If you are happy about this, then I will be too." His smile turned to a frown. "We really should get you to Carlisle now. I can't stand waiting to know if you really are okay."

I could tell he was remembering the beginning of my life and how I had killed my mother. He had been able to save her, but in a way he would never be comfortable with. He and I had both taken her humanity away from her, and Dad would never forgive himself for that. It had turned out alright though, Mom was the best vampire ever heard of, and her and my father loved eachother as intensely as Jacob and I.

I was lost in my thoughts as two long warm arms wrapped around me.

"No!" I smacked the hands away. I had thought for a moment that it was Jerrick, but looked up to see Jacob's saddened face instead. "Oh, Jake, I'm so sorry. I guess I forgot where I was for a second." I hung my head low as he wrapped his arm around me again, very slowly and carefully.

"Are you really okay, Ness? After everything he did to you....." he trailed off as a tremor rolled down his spine.

"Yeah, I'm fine. He's dead, he can't hurt me anymore," I said more to myself than to him. I repeated the same words over and over in my head, trying harder than ever to convince myself that I had nothing to worry about. He _was_ dead, I had seen it with my own eyes. But if I lingered on the thought of him, I could still feel his disgusting hands and mouth touching my body.

"I would kill him again, a million times for what he's done to you," Dad said angrily. I tried to push my Hell out of my head and concentrate on his words. Jacob's hot breath touched the skin of my neck, making me feel much more comfortable. I buried my face into him and inhaled deeply, relaxing into the familiar scent. Jerrick was gone, I had nothing to worry about.

"We could wait til morning, if you'd like," Dad said. I would rather go tonight and make sure my baby was healthy. "Alright, darling. Your mother and I will meet you there." They flew out of the door, shutting it silently behind them.

Jacob sat down in the floor and rubbed his temples. "I'm so sorry, Renesmee, I can't beleive I let this happen to you." Fat tears rolled down his cheeks, splashing upon the floor.

"Don't say that Jacob. Don't even think that. You did everything you could to protect me, he just had a way around it. None of this is your fault," I told him as I sat down beside him. I wiped away his tears and cuddled myself up to him as he pulled me into his lap.

"I'm so glad we found you.... I would have died if I never got to hold you in my arms again," he said sadly.

"How did you guys find me?" I asked as I realized they had not yet explained this part to me.

"When he came here that day, Edward heard little bits of what he was thinking, and he'd thought about Seattle. So we went there and searched around until Edward could hear you, and that's how we found you. If he had told me what he was considering doing to you, I would have killed him myself. I wouldn't have been able to step aside and let them handle it." He shook his head angrily.

"I wish I had killed him myself now. How could I let such a thing happen to you, Renesmee?!" he asked. His tears flowed again as his eyes filled with pain. "How could anyone in this world ever want to hurt you?"

"I don't know that he really wanted to hurt me, he just couldn't control himself at all. He really did beleive he was in love with me. He wanted me to have a family with him and the baby."

Jacob's body trembled as his sobs exploded from him. I could feel the pain radiating off of him as I rubbed his back to comfort him.

"Why did he hit you?" he asked after a few minutes.

"The first time, he had told me he loved me, and I said that I loved you and he got really mad. The second time, I was asleep and having dreams about you, and I woke up when he punched me in the face."

"Because of me...." he whispered between sobs.

"Don't say that Jacob. It's not your fault he was so crazy. I shouldn't have done things to provoke him, not that I can help what I dream about. He was the most vile creature on the Earth. If he'd actually loved me like he said, he wouldn't have been able to do those things to me."

"Why didn't you fight back when he....." He could not finish the question.

"I was a corpse without you. I thought I was never going to see you again, and I didn't have the strength to try and stop him. I'm lucky he stopped at all," I whispered, remembering the way I'd felt with no Jacob in my world. "It wouldn't have mattered anyways if that's what he was set on. He was much stronger than me."

"I'll kill anyone who ever touches you again. I'll snap their hands off and beat them to death with them," he responded, some anger fighting it's way through his sadness. He suddenly withdrew his arms from me, holding them far away. "Should I not....?"

I pulled his arms back around me tightly. "Jacob, you can still touch me. Don't be afraid of that - I'd be very unhappy if you never put these arms around me again. The whole time I was gone, all I could think about was you. I need you, I need things to be the same as before," I told him, a few of my own tears escaping at the thought of him never wanting to hold me again.

He put his hand around my head and pulled it into his chest. He stroked my hair and face lightly, rocking slightly to comfort us both.

"Just tell me if you get uncomfortable. I won't ever do anything to you that you don't want me to. I'll never ever hurt you like he did, Ness," he spoke each word softly. They reminded me again of the contrast between Jacob and Jerrick, how Jake would want to give me anything I could ever want, and Jerrick would only force upon me what he wanted.

"I could never be uncomfortable with you Jacob. I love you more than anything..... I wish I could make you feel better about everything. We have to try and put this behind us, we have a lot of important things to figure out now," I said as my hand went mechanically to my belly.

Jacob's expression turned to slight excitement as he pulled his hand out and reached towards my belly. He stopped halfway and looked at me intently. "Can I?" he asked hopefully. I took his hand and placed it on top of my stomach, holding it there so he would know that I was not afraid of his touch. I wanted him to touch me, to feel the way that I did a few days ago when every touch was passion filled, leaving me shivering in joy and breathless.

He closed his eyes as he felt me lightly, still worried of my reaction to this. I wanted to tell him that it was fine, that his hands on me would never ever bother me, but he would just have to learn over time. I could not make him forget the things he had seen happen to me, and it just proved how much he loved me that he was so worried.

"We should probably go now.... they're waiting for us," I said. He rubbed my stomach gently again before opening his eyes, his tears replaced with a look of serenity. I stood up and started to walk for the door, but he swept me up quickly into his arms. He looked at me hesitantly, not knowing if this made me uncomfortable. I threw my arms around his neck and giggled. Nothing in the world was better than Jacob's arms around me. He smiled at my reaction and carried me through the door.

"So you're going to tell everyone? Right now?" he asked as he walked slowly towards the big house.

"Yeah.... hopefully no one will try to kill you, under the circumstances," I joked.

"I don't think they'll say anything bad to me tonight. They won't want to upset you," he said. I hoped he was right - I did not need anymore stress for a long time. It was bad for the baby.

"I love you, Jacob. I don't ever want to be without you again."

"I love you too, Renesmee. I won't ever let anybody hurt you again for the rest of your life. I won't let you be away from me ever again, unless it's by your own choice," he said with conviction.

"I would never choose that, especially after seeing what it was like. We're going to be a family now. I'll want you forever."

He stopped and looked down, and I could tell he wanted very badly to kiss me. I pulled my body towards his face and brought my lips to his. He was so hesitant, so unsure of what I wanted. I placed my hand to his face so he would know that all I wanted was him, and that his kisses could bring nothing but happiness to me.

He made sure to be extra gentle anyways, but did not pull away from me. He lifted me up closer to him so I wouldn't have to stretch so far. I kissed him harder, trying more than ever to show him that this was what I wanted right now. He sighed heavily into my mouth before lowering me away from his face. This was so frustrating - I was the one that everything had happened to, and now I couldn't even get the love of my life to really kiss me. He was more upset about this than I was.

He carried me the rest of the way in silence, pausing for a moment on the porch before walking through the door. My whole vampire family was already standing there, staring as Jacob carried me inside. They all had this look on their face like we were ghosts and they were mortified.

"Oh, Renesmee!" Rosalie yelled as she flew to me. She wrapped her arms around me while I was still in Jacob's arms, something she would normally never do. I looked at Dad with an angry question.

"No, I didn't tell them that part yet. I will leave that to you," he said.

"There was more?" Rosalie asked, pulling away to look at me with an eternal sadness in her eyes. She turned around to look at my parents. "You said he didn't actually go through with it!!" she screamed at them.

"He didn't," I told her. She pulled me back into a hug, squeezing me just a bit too tightly.

"Let her go, Rose," Dad said from behind her. She jumped backwards, looking me over trying to figure out how she'd hurt me. She spun around to look at my father and ask him silent questions. "Let Renesmee tell you. She wants to tell you all herself."

Jacob carried me past the pairs of golden eyes staring at me and lowered both of us to the couch. Jasper came close, tasting the feelings around us. He seemed confused, not being able to figure out what this emotion could be. I shifted slightly, and Jacob pulled his arms away from me again.

"Jacob, please! I am fine!!! Stop treating me like every single move you make is going to traumatize me!!!!" I exploded angrily. He just looked at me cautiously, even more afraid to touch me now. I pulled myself out of his lap and stood up - this was getting horrible. I get to come home to a man whose afraid to put his hands on me.

I looked up at everyone in my family, still frustrated with Jake. "I'm pregnant, guys," I blurted out. "Carlisle, will you check me out here for now? I want to go home really bad," I asked looking over at him. I could not wait to go to bed tonight, to move through however many days it was going to take Jacob to treat me like he used to.

"Of course," Carlisle smiled. "Why don't you come with me to my office? We still have some of the equipment from when you were born."

I stormed up the stairs with him behind me. I wanted to be nice and happy to my family, but I could not stand the way Jacob seemed so afraid to touch me. I knew he was only trying to think of me and to do what he thought I would need him to, but he wouldn't listen to me. How many times would I have to tell him to not worry?

Carlisle opened up the door of his office and allowed me to go ahead of him inside. I sat down silently in his big desk chair as he went to a closet and began pulling things out.

"Are you alright, Renesmee?" Carlisle asked as his eyes ran over the bruises on my face.

"In what way? Physically? Probably," I answered quickly.

"And emotionally?" he asked softly.

"No, Grandpa, I'm not. I've been through hell these past few days, and now I come home and Jacob's too scared to even touch me. I could accept the rest of it if he would just stop acting that way," I said a little too loud. Tears burned hot down my cheeks.

"He doesn't mean to upset you, dear. He's trying to do just the opposite of that. He just has no idea how to go about it," Carlisle said soothingly.

"If he would just listen to me, it'd save us both the trouble!" I half yelled. "All I want is for things to be the same as they were, and it's never going to happen if he keeps treating me like this." He made me feel so unwanted, even though I knew the reason was not that. I should never have showed him what had been done to me. Regret filled my body and mind.

"Will you want an ultrasound tonight?" Carlisle asked, breaking through my anger. I had to try and control my emotions, for the little one. I did not want it to feel what I was feeling.

"I guess so. I'll go get Jake," I said as I moved out of the room sluggishly. I couldn't get to see the baby without him being there, even if I did not want to see him at this second.


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter Twenty Nine - Names**

I walked down the stairs and into the big livingroom. Alice, Jasper, and Esme were the only people in the room.

"Where are they?" I asked, anger still apparent in my voice. A wave of calm spread through me, but I pushed it away. "Not now Jasper," I said with my head down. "It'll come right back the second I'm away from you. I might as well just stay pissed off."

"They went outside to... discuss some things," Jasper said slowly.

"You mean to discuss me?" I shot back. I was in no mood for this. I stalked to the door and almost ripped it off of it's hinges in my haste. I caught a final glimpse of the surprised faces behind me before I took off, searching out the scents of my parents and Jacob.

"I don't know what to do!" I heard Jacob yell as I got closer. "How can I make her happy again?"

"Why don't you ask her, she'll be here in just a moment," Dad said as I flew towards them. "Yes, she is. She just wants you to treat her normally," he said, my guess is to whatever Jacob was thinking.

I found the spot they were all sitting in and stopped, fuming when I looked at Jacob's sad face. "Carlisle wants to give me an ultrasound. I thought you'd like to see it," I said quickly. Jake's eyes lit up as he jumped to his feet. I spun around on my heels and ran back towards the house.

"Wait, Renesmee," Jacob said from a few feet behind me as I reached to open the door. I paused to let him catch up. "Look, I'm sorry for acting so weird, I just don't know how to be right now. I don't want to touch you again and have you think for even an instant that it was him..... I don't know what I should do to make things better for you," he said sincerely.

The anger faded from me at his words. I jumped into his arms and pushed my lips to his roughly. He was still hesitant, making me kiss him even harder. He finally gave in and really kissed me back, something I'd been waiting for since he'd come to rescue me. My arms went around his neck as I pulled his face down closer to mine and grabbed at his hair. He pulled my body back into an upright position, holding me up off the ground as he let go completely of his fears and just gave me what we both wanted.

"Don't hold back," I whispered roughly into his ear. My teeth touched his earlobe as my mouth went to his neck. I kissed him softly, and he closed his eyes and tilted his head up to let me. He brought his face back down and lifted me up, moving my lips with his as they met once more. I could finally feel his passion for me again as he bit lightly onto my bottom lip.

He lifted me higher as he kissed me again and again, and then spun us both around a few times. He was so happy that even I could feel it. I had my Jacob back, comfortable in my arms once again. He pulled my body back into a cradle position as he lifted me all the way to his height. He put his cheek down softly on my stomach, then pulled back to kiss it gently.

"So we get to see it now??" he asked excitedly. I nodded a yes, too ecstatic to actually speak yet. He smiled my favorite smile as he brought his lips to meet mine once more. I placed my hand to his face so he could see my happiness, and told him thank you.

"I'd do anything in the world to make you happy, Ness. I love you so much," he said as he dug his face into my throat. I had a huge smile plastered to my face, one that would probably stay where it was for a very long time. Everyone looked even more surprised now as we walked in than when I'd left.

Alice was standing at the opposite wall fiddling with a stereo. She moved aside from it and familiar music began filling the room around me.

"Ladybug, ladybug, ladybug....Kisses the bones pushing through..." Dax Riggs sang to us. I froze like a block of ice at the reminder of my time in the hotel room.

"Turn it off, Alice," Jasper said as soon as my emotions hit him. Alice looked bewildered as she flew over and turned the stereo off. I untensed my body and pushed the dark memories aside.

"No, play it," I told Alice. The song picked back up where she'd turned it off, and I closed my eyes to feel what I wanted to, what I should feel when I heard something so beautiful. I would not let Jerrick ruin the things that I loved.

"I thought you loved this song....." Alice said, her cute little face scrunched into confusion.

"I do....." was all I could answer. I did not feel like explaining my sudden issue with it.

"It is very beautiful," Alice approved. "Much better than that other stuff you listen to."

I laughed at her assumption. "Alice, Acid Bath and Agents of Oblivion are headed by the same person. You can't like one and not the other."

"Sure I can," she answered, making me laugh again. Jacob cleared his throat, reminding me of the task at hand. I looked up at him to let him know that I was ready.

He ascended the steps one by one, moving quickly in his excitement. We entered Carlisle's office to find an ultrasound machine hooked up beside a small bed that had not been there before.

"Are we ready?" Carlisle smiled. Jacob walked over and laid me down on the bed.

"Yep. Let's do this," I smiled back. Jacob took my hand as Carlisle lifted up my shirt and prepared some kind of goo. He rubbed the goo on my belly, making me extremely uncomfortable. It was so cold, and it smelled like.... I don't even know what it smelled like. Something disgusting. Carlisle pulled some kind of wand thing from the side of the machine and began to run it over my skin.

"There we are," he said. "Do you see that thing that looks like a black hole?"

Jacob and I both looked around on the screen until we saw what he was talking about. It was so tiny..... our tiny little baby. I turned back to him and nodded. He pointed to a specific spot on the screen.

"This would be the head," he told me. He pushed a button on the machine and it began to print something out of the side of it. "Everything looks completely normal," he said with releif. He wiped the goo off of me and listened through his stethoscope.

"Strong heartbeat....." he said, making my own heart jump with delight. I wanted more than anything for my baby to be healthy. "We can wait and do the rest in my office," he said next. "I will have all of the proper equipment there, and a nurse to do the OB GYN exam."

That was good..... it would feel pretty weird to have my own grandfather poking around down there. I giggled at myself.

Jacob squeezed my hand from my happiness, and I looked up into his face. He looked like he was about to cry, but not in the way he had earlier.

"Oh, Jake," I teased lightly. "Don't get all mushy on me now."

He leaned down to kiss my belly in response.

"Are we all done here?" I asked Carlisle. I was ready to go home and get in the bed.

"Yes, everything looks good so far. Go home and get yourself some rest."

"How long will you all be here?" I asked sadly. I did not want them to leave.

"We can't be sure yet, but everyone will be waiting for you when you wake up," he reassured me.

I went down stairs to hug and kiss everyone goodbye, making them all promise that they would stay for at least a few days. I hated that they couldn't always stay, but I understood the reasons. Jacob swept me into his arms again before running us to my own empty house. My parents would probably stay with everyone tonight so they could catch up.

I went straight to the kitchen to find some food with Jacob. We didn't have much of a selection, but I found some peanut butter and grape jelly for a sandwich. I had it all scarfed down and was making another by the time Jacob found himself some cereal to eat.

We stared at eachother for a long time, Jacob only breaking eye contact to raise his spoon to his mouth. I couldn't help but wonder how long it would be before he felt completely normal towards me again, when we could go back to doing things that we were used to doing.....

"Will you take a shower with me?" I blurted out. His eyes went wide for a second, but then his face relaxed.

"If you want me to," he smiled. I smiled back hugely, and his expression blankened for a moment.I had completely forgotten about this; My new effect on him was going to make this much easier.

I pulled his shirt gently over his head and waited for him to do the same to me. He hesitated, then smiled as he lifted it up just as easily. We both removed our own bottoms as he turned the knobs to the shower. I pulled his body against mine and kissed his chest, since it was the part of him that was even with my face. He bent down so I could reach his warm lips as his arms wrapped around me, picking me up and molding my body perfectly to his.

He stepped with me into the shower but I did not pull away for an instant. I had waited much too long for this moment, for this feeling to return to me. I needed him in every way possible. I could not let his mind change to doubtful, or I might have to wait even longer.

He kissed me so softly and sweetly I knew that he wanted me, but he would not make a single move without being sure it was what I wanted. One of his hands moved down to my bottom, then quickly pulled itself back upwards to the small of my back. I quickly contemplated how embarassing my next move would be, and decided to go for it anyways. One of us had to move forward.

I grabbed both of his hands and placed them straight on my butt. I jumped up and wrapped my legs around his waist as water flowed gently over my face and body. He was surprised and excited by my forwardness, and he finally relaxed completely, holding me as close as possible and kissing me more roughly. His warm lips trailed across my throat and then back up to my mouth.

He turned slightly so that my back was against a wall, and I felt the excitement build up and bubble over inside of me. He hesitated, and then decided against what he was about to do. I could feel a little of his earlier tension coming back, and I was having none of that. I would get my way tonight, no matter what I had to do.

"Jacob..." I whispered as I gasped for air. His eyes met mine as he waited for me to say more, but my lips crushed against his again. One of my hands was wrapped into his hair, so I pulled the other away and placed it to his face, allowing him to see how badly I needed him right now.

He gave in with a soft moan, pushing himself inside of me. I threw back my head, surprised at how much better I felt just in that instant alone. I writhed and clutched myself to his body as he entered and withdrew from me again and again.

Our shower was over much too soon for me. My body and mind ached for more of him, screaming that I'd die if I didn't have it. He carried me to my room and laid me down on the bed as he sat up beside me. I pulled myself on top of him, making my intentions clear yet again.

He was much less hesitant this time, allowing me to take most of the control. I kept my hand to his face, practically screaming for him to give me himself over and over. He obliged each time, and even by the time the sun had broken the clouds, I was still not completely satisfied. I wasn't sure if I ever would be.

"I never will be," he gasped into my ear.

We finally seperated our disentangled bodies and cuddled against eachother. I considered going for it once more, but thought better of it. I was actually really tired after my long and wonderful night.

"Go to sleep, Ness. I'll be right here when you wake up," Jacob assured me.

_You better be,_ I thought as I drifted away. I dreamed of Jacob, and of holding our beautiful baby in my arms. It was absolutely perfect.

"....and your mommy and daddy are going to love you more than anything in the whole world," Jacob was saying into my stomach as I woke up. He kissed it softly as he turned to me with a huge smile on his face. He was so sweet....

"What do you want for breakfast?" he asked, hopping up to his feet. "Your parents went out and got you a bunch of new food."

I jumped up too and we flew to the kitchen. I fried us both eggs then sat down to eat.

"Have you thought of any names yet?" he asked me excitedly.

"Hmmm..... well, if it's a girl, maybe Isabelle. And if it's a boy, maybe Jacob."

"But that might get confusing, having two Jacob's running around," he said as we both laughed. "I kind of like the name Jerrick."

I froze completely, except for my eyes which grew wide at the thought of the name. My fork toppled to the ground.

"What Nessie? What did I say?" Jacob asked, staring at me in confusion.

"No. Please don't ever say that name again," I said, my eyes still huge. I would never name my sweet baby after that monster.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know," Jacob said quietly as he bent to pick up my fork. He threw it in the sink and handed me a new one. I finally calmed myself and thawed out my body.

"It's okay. So did you have any other ideas?" I said as I piled more eggs into my mouth. Jacob looked as if he was trying very hard to relax again.

"I don't know...." he trailed off, looking extremely uncomfortable.

"I'm sorry, Jacob," I said to the floor. " I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

"No, no it's not that Renesmee. It's me..... I'm so flustered today."

"Why?" I asked looking back up at him.

"Do you want to go for a walk?" he asked suddenly, jumping from his seat.

"Ookaaay??" I answered. I was very confused.

We set off in silence out the front door.


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter Thirty - Proposition**

"So what's up?" I finally asked after we'd walked almost a mile. He was starting to freak me out a little bit. He was so anxious and nervous, and I had no clue as to why.

"Renesmee, I love you. I've always loved you, and I'm always going to," he said slowly as we came to a stop.

"I love you too, Jake," I said, still completely puzzled. Jacob dropped down to one knee.

"I don't have a ring for you yet, but Nessie," he took a very long deep breath, "Will you marry me?"

He took both of my hands in his. I wanted to answer, but I was just so shocked. Why was he asking me now? Was it because he really wanted to marry me, or because we were having a baby? If he really truly did want to spend eternity with me, I'd have to say yes. But if it was the latter reason, I'd have to say no. At least, until he asked for the first reason.

"Is that what you want? Because of me, not because I'm pregnant and you just want to do what's right?" I asked as Jacob's happiness seemed to drain from his face.

"Both. I want to marry you, but I was going to wait until you were finished with school like you said. I just thought that maybe you would be ready to now, since we're starting our own family."

"So you would have still asked me anyways? Without the baby thing, I mean?"

"Of course! I waited eight years for you to fall in love with me, and I can't wait to marry you!" he said, his excitement returning. He waited patiently for an answer as a smile crept across my face.

"Okay, then I say yes."

Jacob had me off the ground and spinning around wildly in his arms before the whole word was even out. He stopped turning and pulled my face back to place kisses all over it.

"We're getting married!!!!!" he shouted to the trees. I had definitely never seen him happier than he was right now. His emotion rubbed right off on me, making me just as ecstatic. He hugged me tightly again, then kissed me quickly but passionately. "I promise I'll get you a ring, whatever one you want."

"That's not important. Although I have been missing my necklace," I said sadly. I had forgotten about it until just then.

"I'll get you a new one, and then I'll get you a ring," he promised. I was glad he didn't ask what had happened to it.

"Jacob...." I sat down on the dirt beneath me. "What am I going to do about school? And where will we live? How are we going to do this?"

"I'm sure your parents won't make you go to school anymore. We can live where ever you want, anywhere in the whole world. It's all going to work out, you'll see," he said as he sat down beside me. I hoped he was right about the last part and that everything would work out. I wasn't sure about school though; I at least needed to go to tell Brittany good-bye.

"What day is it?" I asked suddenly. I'd completely lost track of my days.

"It's Christmas Eve," he said simply. Wow. Well at least I didn't have to decide about school until after New Years.

"I wonder when I got pregnant," I said off-handedly. We'd been together so many times that it would be practically impossible to pin-point the one when it happened.

"I don't know. You didn't get sick this morning."

"Wow, I didn't did I? Did I yesterday morning?....." I almost looked inside for an answer but quickly decided against it. I didn't want to think about yesterday morning. "I hope that keeps up, at least."

My mind drifted back to the fact that I was getting married. I really did want to marry Jacob, but I wanted everything to be perfect. I wanted Jerrick completely gone from my mind. I wanted to look beautiful for him, not like a hippo.

"Jake...." I sighed heavily. "When did you want to get married? Before or after the baby is born?"

"That's up to you, Ness. We can get married tomorrow, or in five years. I'm just glad you said yes," he smiled. Releif washed through me, and I laid back to savor it.

"How about one year? That's normal, right?" Not that normal mattered much to people like us.

"You're asking me?" he raised an eyebrow mockingly. "I think one year sounds good."

We walked back towards the big house hand in hand. I contemplated what we were going to actually do once we got there - everyone had only found out last night that I was pregnant, and now I had to tell them all that I was getting married. I hadn't even noticed anyone's reaction to the first thing, and now there was more to react to.

"Your dad gave me his blessing. They might already know," Jake responded to my worries.

"He did? Why is he being so cool about all of this?"

"When you got taken away, it just changed some things. He wants more than anything for you to just be happy, and he can read your mind so he knows that you are. And he can read my mind, so he knows that I'm going to keep making you happy for the rest of your life," Jacob smiled. "I think we remind him of him and Bella, except that we're safer for eachother than he was for her when they met. He knows how much we love eachother, and we don't have any reason to not be together like they did."

"I suppose that makes sense," I spoke quietly. My dad did understand love very well. He and my mother loved eachother more than anything, and they'd had alot of obstacles to overcome to be together. Me and Jacob didn't have that kind of battle; Jacob would never hurt me, would never feel the urge to drain all the blood from my body leaving me lifeless. He only loved me, and from the first day I'd been born.

Jacob smiled as he listened to my thoughts. We stepped up onto the porch and paused before we opened the door. I heard 'Ladybug' playing again from inside, and was struck with an idea.

"Dax!!!!" I practically yelled at Jacob.

"Huh? Is that the guy singing?" he said with a puzzled expression.

"If the baby is a boy, we could name him Dax!!! Dax Jacob Black....."

He contemplated my idea for a short moment. "I like it. We could call him DJ for short. But what if it's a girl? You don't listen to many girl musicians," he laughed

"Yeah, I don't think I could name her Otep," I laughed. "I'll find inspiration somewhere though."

We entered the house to find everyone sitting there, minus Emmett and Rosalie. They were all chattering excitedly as we walked in, but stopped and turned to place all of their eyes on us.

"Oh, Nessie!" Alice sang as she flew over to hug me. "Please, do not name her Otep if it's a she! But I like your other idea!" She giggled and kissed the top of my head.

I giggled too. "That part was just a joke, Alice. Don't worry, I'll think of some girl name eventually. So you really like the name Dax?"

Everyone in the room smiled and told me their approval. So that was settled, at least. One thing down, a million more to go.

"Where's Em and Rose?" I asked as everyone's faces slowly turned down.

"She's upset, or jealous is more like it," Alice said a bit angrily. "She left last night after you said you were pregnant, and Emmett went to talk to her. He came back for a minute to let us know they were both alright, but he left again and they've stayed gone."

"Why? Why would she be jealous?" I asked as a tear streaked down my face. I loved my aunt Rose, I didn't see why she would be angry with me. Alice lifted a finger and wiped it away.

"Don't let her upset you, Nessie! She's just...... she's always wanted to have kids for herself, and she can't. She was kind of jealous when Bella got pregnant with you, but she was always there to take care of you and play with you after you were born. But we live far away now, and she can't be that way with your baby. She wishes she had one of her own, or could at least be around a baby and be close to it."

"Do you think she'll come back? I would really like to see her before you all have to go again."

"She'll be here, just give her some time to cool off. She has to accept what her physical limitations are, and that you don't have the same limitations as she does."

"I guess I can understand where she's coming from. She's wanted what I have now for longer than I've been alive," I concluded. Rosalie could be jealous, it was really only fair to her for me to not get mad over it. "Oh yeah, I kind of have something else to tell you guys....." I said slowly, remembering that I had just gotten engaged.

Everyone only stared, waiting patiently for me to say what I wanted. I looked over at Jacob, who had a huge smile on his face. I elbowed him in the ribs.

"We're going to get married!!!" he told everyone, using the exact same excited tone as earlier.

Jasper shot a questioning glance at my father.

Dad chuckled. "It's what she wants. I told him it was okay. I want Renesmee to be happy."

"So we're not going to kill him, then?" Jasper laughed. He couldn't help but be happy too. Alice looked at me with her face scrunched into an adorable pout.

I giggled, knowing what she wanted to hear. "Yes Alice, you can plan the wedding for us. You've got plenty of time, too. It won't happen for about a year."

"You guys don't want to get married before the baby is born?" Esme spoke for the first time.

"No, I think I'd be happier if we waited. I wouldn't want to look like a cow on my wedding day," I laughed.

"I have to get started!" Alice said as she hugged me quickly and then sprang up the stairs. I caught a glimpse of my mom over her shoulder; She looked a little bit upset. Everyone else noticed too, and they all left me and her alone in the room. Jacob kissed my head before loping out of the front door.

"What is it, Mom?" I asked as I crossed the large room to her.

"What are you going to do about school? And how will we tell Charlie?" She bit her lip as her brows drew themselves together in anxiety.

"I'm not sure yet," I answered honestly. I hadn't thought about what I would say to Charlie. "I'll finish out school if you want me to. I'll take care of Charlie, too. You won't have to tell him."

"Are you coming with us tomorrow? He really misses you, and he'll love to see you after you've gotten home."

"Did he know I was gone?" I asked surprised. Charlie was usually out of the loop on these things.

"Yes, I told him you were kidnapped. He tried to put up posters for you, he was just so broken up about everything. I spoke to him yesterday after you were on your way back to let him know we'd found you. He's pretty confused, but happy as ever."

"Well maybe he'll hold on to that feeling after tomorrow," I joked lightly.

"You don't have to finish school, Renesmee. I completely understand if you don't want to go back."

"I'm not sure yet. I at least want to tell Brittany goodbye, and let her know the situation......"

"Well you have a few days to decide for sure. Are you sure that this is what you want, Renesmee?" She looked straight into my eyes and her hands gripped my shoulders. "I don't want you to feel like you have to get married because you're having a baby. Jacob wouldn't have minded if you'd told him you wanted to wait."

"I know. I do want to get married to him though. I don't really have any reason not to, and a lot of reasons to go through with everything. I guess if by the time the wedding comes, if I'm not ready or something...."

She wrapped her arms around me, just tight enough. "I love you so much, Renesmee. Don't do anything because you feel like you have to. If you really do want to marry Jacob, then I know you two will be happy with eachother forever."

I kissed her cheek and hugged her tighter. I was so lucky to have the family that I was born into. Both of my parents were so understanding and loving, towards me and towards eachother. They knew love better than anyone, how intense and illogical it could be sometimes. They would both do anything in the world to make me happy. I placed my hand to Mom's cheek and told her my thoughts that I could not say out loud.

"Jacob, too," she smiled. "He would do anything for you. That's why I approve."


End file.
